Once upon a time in America

They say, “Behind every great fortune lies a great crime.” When I first came to America, there were many cultural shocks. However, with time, the nonsense started making sense. There was one shock though, which was replaced by a deeper shock once I understood what really was going on. Almost every business was the result of screwing over the parent company. Such is the story from the deep layers of the desi community and the local American people who work together as allies of convenience in the land of opportunities.

I have been observing in the American small business communities that the people who work as peaceful business partners once worked in an employer-employee relationship. The competitors were also once in that same relationship. In the happy-ending category, one person gave a job to another one and after years of working hard, the employee saved enough money to partner up with the boss and started expanding further.

The other one is the not-so-happy-ending category, which is more common. In that one, the employee makes a relationship with the clientele of the business by serving them for years and one day decides to go it alone and steal all the clients by giving them the same or better service for a cheaper fee. The immigrants like the word ‘cheap’ so much that an entire airline ticketing business had to use it as its brand name. Anyway, understanding this customer stealing dynamic didn’t take me a long time but uncovering this dynamic in almost every business completely shocked me.

The Christians, the Muslims, the Hindus, the Jews, the Buddhists, everyone does it. Nobody is clean and nobody is spared. Indians and Pakistanis partner up all the time to do exactly that. Money is not only a dirty game but also a vicious one too. A Buddhist girl comes from Vietnam, for example. Typically, she starts working at a nail spa. She masters the art and makes a good relationship with the clients by giving more smiles and speaking less Vietnamese. The next thing you know is that she has set up shop elsewhere and a large chunk of the customers from her previous boss are now her customers.

The idea for this article actually came from a female hairdresser and an Imam in America. Sounds weird? Wait for it. I ran into an Imam or he ran into me rather. He tried to make a little talk. Much to my chagrin, I let him speak. I thought it was one of those memorised mini lectures about prayers, which I can repeat verbatim much better than any Imam. Lo and behold, it was not about that at all. He asked me why I wasn’t coming to the Masjid quite often. I said that I did pray regularly and go to any nearby Masjid I can find. Sometimes, I just pray in my car when I am on the freeway. He didn’t want to inquire about my prayers. Rather he wanted to inquire why I was not saying prayers at the Masjid where he was in charge and the Imam.

This Imam used to lead prayers at another Masjid where he made people like him. Without anyone realising, within no time he started renting another building. The doors of the new Masjid swung open to customers, I mean worshippers, on a hyped Friday prayer. It was that Masjid he was referring to. It was about the money, stupid!

The hairdresser lady is an entertaining one too. During my haircut, she kept trying to invite me to her home for my next haircut and beard job. It totally sounded like an invitation to something not fit to print here. But it was her attempt to steal the clientele of her employer. Oh and I didn’t go, in case you are wondering. Perhaps there should be a book about this topic. Until then, understand these dynamics before you ask your relative abroad for an iPhone.

Published in The Express Tribune, January 27^th, 2022.

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