Female writers who disregard women’s plight are biggest supporters of patriarchy: Bee Gul
'Darr Si Jaati Hai Sila' writer says if TV has no room for powerful female characters, doesn't mean we stop...
KARACHI:
We met at a mall in Karachi. Even in a chaotic venue like that, an air of quiet confidence surrounded Bee Gul. While I wished the unending loud chattering away, she enjoyed her tea and spoke like Milton resting under the tree of knowledge – and I consumed the fruit, like Eve.
The curiosity in Gul’s work lies in her fearless narration of the plight of women. Talking to her about her work is going on a journey of discovering what is embedded in a woman’s psyche long before patriarchy conditioned her to think otherwise.
“There is a part of me in everything I write,” she says.
In dire straits
Gul’s fame skyrocketed in 2017 when Darr Si Jati Hai Sila was aired on a local TV channel. “The script was shelved for six months,” she tells The Express Tribune. “It was too ‘bold’ for them,” she says while breaking into a laugh.
After a lot of struggle, Darr Si Jati Hai Sila was approved but its actual theme was hushed for the first few episodes. Gul recalls the serial did not even get any TRPs for the first four episodes.
When she first started writing, she was told she will never understand the problems of an average Pakistani girl. “They used to tell me I wear cotton saaris, I am very different, I am an intellectual, and I would respond with: 'Why do you need to categorise me? An intellectual mind is a questioning mind.' So, I really don’t understand why they still differentiate between me and the average woman.”
Her family had some reservations too. “You write about ‘adult’ stuff!” they’d say, “I am an adult, what else do you expect?” Gul would reply.
“My mother, too, was a little uncomfortable under her skin, I could see that. She told me that her friends said these things shouldn’t be written down, it exploits relationships. She used to be in a defensive mode – like all mothers.”
‘Be your own saviour’
One might argue that Gul’s influence is immense, however many of her ideas have been misread by the audience, often to an extent where they transform into something that’s beyond recognition. Take for example the notion of the ‘good’ and the ‘bad’ woman - how does Gul combat that?
“It starts from home – from the ‘achay bachay aisey nahi kartay’ to the ‘achi bachiyan aisey nahi karti’,” she says, “The first differentiation is between the boy and the girl, and then comes the one between the ‘achi’ and the ‘buri’.”
If you are a girl who has been brought up by brown parents, you would be able to relate to the ‘good girls don’t sit like that’, ‘good girls don’t speak this way’, ‘good girls don’t stay out late’ remarks very well.
“We are so conditioned that we gradually internalise this dichotomy. It becomes a part of us,” says Gul.
Gul’s first serial, Pehchaan aired five years ago. It was about a man who married a beautiful, young woman, but he also had a mistress. He helps the second woman end her abusive marriage and then marries her too.
“I received a lot of criticism because the 'mistress' I had shown was a good woman! I had done this without even knowing it, it was purely organic. But people sent me hate-mails because they could not accept a ‘mistress’ as a wife - because the mistress, in our society, is supposed to be the ‘buri aurat’.”
Is the idiot box ready for it?
While Gul encourages women to be their own saviours, she does not expect the system to change anytime soon. With disappointment in her eyes, she sheds light on how channels do not care about the content; their only concern is with the TRP.
“‘It doesn’t sell,’ they would say. And I used to remind them that our television industry is being run by three successful women. ‘Look at you, where are your stories? You can also be inspiring!’ I would tell them.”
Even PEMRA had an issue with the kind of content Gul was pushing for in the industry. When Darr Si Jaati Hai Sila was aired, PEMRA sent a notice asking Gul why the show was an 'uncomfortable' watch.
“I was taken aback. I said ‘I am showing sexual abuse against a woman and a family in the show, why would anybody be comfortable watching it? How can you expect it to be a comfortable watch?’ But then the Zainab incident happened somewhere around the 6th episode, and PEMRA went quiet.”
Gul recalls working for a private TV channel where she would ask fellow writers to think about the content they produce, only to realise that it’s a money-making business for them too – “I think the biggest supporters of patriarchy are other female writers who do not believe in the plight of women. Many times, my voice was alone. Whenever I called out the misogynistic content that would be aired, the writers used to tell me this was their bread and butter, and that they have to write whatever sells. I used to tell them, ‘Look, this is my bread and butter as well. I will eat half a roti one day but I will not compromise on my vision.’”
Eye-opener
After Darr Si Jati Hai Sila, Gul received emails and messages from all around the world. Victims who couldn’t write or type sent Gul screenshots of the abuse they went through. Quite a few people met her in person. She even started getting calls.
“That’s when I thought, that every other woman I come across has been abused in one way or the other. I know I have been abused in many ways. We just don’t realise the many ways in which women are abused almost daily. Many men also messaged me and narrated their tales of abuse. It was really scary.”
Not an echo chamber
Even though the patriarchal structure of the media industry still controls the way women are represented, Gul believes there should be a constant alternative voice - even if it is hushed.
“I was not aware that my writing would have so much in it that the world was not ready for. But I think this should be kept parallel – a constant alternative voice should run parallel with the patriarchal voice of the television.”
From Humsafar, to Mere Paas Tum Ho, every now and then you see a drama serial that shows the industry regressing, and if not regressing, then stuck in a rut.
“I feel like the success of Mere Paas Tum Ho was a reality check for me. I thought there was a significant change in our viewership of late, but I was shocked to see how big Mere Paas Tum Ho was. I think we’re going back on a regressive line.”
She says the show has created a gender war of sorts. Viewers loved it, but they need to realise that nobody wins in this war.
“Women can’t function without men, and men can’t function without women. Both have to work together. Their work, their life, everything should be inclusive. When you fixate on one gender and fight its wars, you deviate from the actual problem,” she concludes.
Have something to add to the story? Share it in the comments below.
We met at a mall in Karachi. Even in a chaotic venue like that, an air of quiet confidence surrounded Bee Gul. While I wished the unending loud chattering away, she enjoyed her tea and spoke like Milton resting under the tree of knowledge – and I consumed the fruit, like Eve.
The curiosity in Gul’s work lies in her fearless narration of the plight of women. Talking to her about her work is going on a journey of discovering what is embedded in a woman’s psyche long before patriarchy conditioned her to think otherwise.
“There is a part of me in everything I write,” she says.
In dire straits
Gul’s fame skyrocketed in 2017 when Darr Si Jati Hai Sila was aired on a local TV channel. “The script was shelved for six months,” she tells The Express Tribune. “It was too ‘bold’ for them,” she says while breaking into a laugh.
After a lot of struggle, Darr Si Jati Hai Sila was approved but its actual theme was hushed for the first few episodes. Gul recalls the serial did not even get any TRPs for the first four episodes.
When she first started writing, she was told she will never understand the problems of an average Pakistani girl. “They used to tell me I wear cotton saaris, I am very different, I am an intellectual, and I would respond with: 'Why do you need to categorise me? An intellectual mind is a questioning mind.' So, I really don’t understand why they still differentiate between me and the average woman.”
Her family had some reservations too. “You write about ‘adult’ stuff!” they’d say, “I am an adult, what else do you expect?” Gul would reply.
“My mother, too, was a little uncomfortable under her skin, I could see that. She told me that her friends said these things shouldn’t be written down, it exploits relationships. She used to be in a defensive mode – like all mothers.”
‘Be your own saviour’
One might argue that Gul’s influence is immense, however many of her ideas have been misread by the audience, often to an extent where they transform into something that’s beyond recognition. Take for example the notion of the ‘good’ and the ‘bad’ woman - how does Gul combat that?
“It starts from home – from the ‘achay bachay aisey nahi kartay’ to the ‘achi bachiyan aisey nahi karti’,” she says, “The first differentiation is between the boy and the girl, and then comes the one between the ‘achi’ and the ‘buri’.”
If you are a girl who has been brought up by brown parents, you would be able to relate to the ‘good girls don’t sit like that’, ‘good girls don’t speak this way’, ‘good girls don’t stay out late’ remarks very well.
“We are so conditioned that we gradually internalise this dichotomy. It becomes a part of us,” says Gul.
Gul’s first serial, Pehchaan aired five years ago. It was about a man who married a beautiful, young woman, but he also had a mistress. He helps the second woman end her abusive marriage and then marries her too.
“I received a lot of criticism because the 'mistress' I had shown was a good woman! I had done this without even knowing it, it was purely organic. But people sent me hate-mails because they could not accept a ‘mistress’ as a wife - because the mistress, in our society, is supposed to be the ‘buri aurat’.”
Is the idiot box ready for it?
While Gul encourages women to be their own saviours, she does not expect the system to change anytime soon. With disappointment in her eyes, she sheds light on how channels do not care about the content; their only concern is with the TRP.
“‘It doesn’t sell,’ they would say. And I used to remind them that our television industry is being run by three successful women. ‘Look at you, where are your stories? You can also be inspiring!’ I would tell them.”
Even PEMRA had an issue with the kind of content Gul was pushing for in the industry. When Darr Si Jaati Hai Sila was aired, PEMRA sent a notice asking Gul why the show was an 'uncomfortable' watch.
“I was taken aback. I said ‘I am showing sexual abuse against a woman and a family in the show, why would anybody be comfortable watching it? How can you expect it to be a comfortable watch?’ But then the Zainab incident happened somewhere around the 6th episode, and PEMRA went quiet.”
Gul recalls working for a private TV channel where she would ask fellow writers to think about the content they produce, only to realise that it’s a money-making business for them too – “I think the biggest supporters of patriarchy are other female writers who do not believe in the plight of women. Many times, my voice was alone. Whenever I called out the misogynistic content that would be aired, the writers used to tell me this was their bread and butter, and that they have to write whatever sells. I used to tell them, ‘Look, this is my bread and butter as well. I will eat half a roti one day but I will not compromise on my vision.’”
Eye-opener
After Darr Si Jati Hai Sila, Gul received emails and messages from all around the world. Victims who couldn’t write or type sent Gul screenshots of the abuse they went through. Quite a few people met her in person. She even started getting calls.
“That’s when I thought, that every other woman I come across has been abused in one way or the other. I know I have been abused in many ways. We just don’t realise the many ways in which women are abused almost daily. Many men also messaged me and narrated their tales of abuse. It was really scary.”
Not an echo chamber
Even though the patriarchal structure of the media industry still controls the way women are represented, Gul believes there should be a constant alternative voice - even if it is hushed.
“I was not aware that my writing would have so much in it that the world was not ready for. But I think this should be kept parallel – a constant alternative voice should run parallel with the patriarchal voice of the television.”
From Humsafar, to Mere Paas Tum Ho, every now and then you see a drama serial that shows the industry regressing, and if not regressing, then stuck in a rut.
“I feel like the success of Mere Paas Tum Ho was a reality check for me. I thought there was a significant change in our viewership of late, but I was shocked to see how big Mere Paas Tum Ho was. I think we’re going back on a regressive line.”
She says the show has created a gender war of sorts. Viewers loved it, but they need to realise that nobody wins in this war.
“Women can’t function without men, and men can’t function without women. Both have to work together. Their work, their life, everything should be inclusive. When you fixate on one gender and fight its wars, you deviate from the actual problem,” she concludes.
Have something to add to the story? Share it in the comments below.