Admitting you've been sexually abused doesn't make you a lesser man: OKB lauds Jami
Balu Mahi actor believes it's high time we start supporting the #MeToo stories instead of suppressing them
The media fraternity is still recovering from the shock and anger of Jami's ordeal. The film-maker recently tweeted details of the horrific incident where he was allegedly raped by a media tycoon 13 years ago.
In order to cope with the trauma, Jami recalled, he had to leave Pakistan after being under therapy and medical treatment for six months. Jami's purpose of coming out with his story was to endorse the #MeToo movement and stop it from being 'hijacked' by naysayers.
While the trolls didn't leave Jami alone, industry stakeholders such as Mahira Khan came forward to support Jami's cause. On a similar note, Osman Khalid Butt, who has always been vocal against gender discrimination and injustice at large also lauded Jami for his courage.
On Tuesday morning, the Balu Mahi actor shared a blog written by The Sketches frontman, Saif Samejo, which was published in The Express Tribune. The blog talked about the importance of men coming out with their #MeToo stories and conversation around the life of survivors at large.
"Trigger warning: some thoughts on the distinct context and connotations of male sexual assault in a society like ours, and a salute to Jami for his bravery," Butt captioned the post.
"Upon writing, I realised everything I wanted to say has been penned more eloquently by Saif Samejo," he added.
In his note, the Baaji star also shared how Jami's story came up during a dinner a few days ago.
"What was astonishing to me was that every man on that table freely admitted to having been sexually harassed in one way or another: In classrooms, in public transports, in their own homes, in vulnerable moments, as children, as adults, by strangers, by men they trusted," Butt wrote. "Whatever the spectrum may lie, our bodies and our psyche has been violated."
The actor added how men do not speak openly about the trauma inflicted upon them. "We try suppressing the violence, the shame, the stigma - even though as Jami says, the details remain etched in our DNA," the actor continued.
Butt further elaborated why such incidents are beyond shameful. "In a society like ours, where sexual harassment is already under-reported, admitting that something like this happened to you, makes you a lesser man."
The actor went on and addressed the criticism of how men are supposed to be tough and protect themselves.
"Men are supposed to be tough, they should be able to resist, they should be able to protect themselves," Butt asserted. "Social norms have fed so many lies about our genders: the dominant sex, the aggressive and resilient sex - one act of sexual assault and these notions come tumbling down."
He further shared how such an incident makes men feel emotions that are considered foreign to them. Weakness, emotional imbalance and a state of submissiveness. "And then we suppress. We never disclose. Because that's weak, that's not masculine."
Lauding Jami for his bravery, the Diyar-e-Dil star penned, "What Jami has done is immensely brave, especially knowing how the #MeToo movement in Pakistan has been met with such a ferocious backlash."
"I'm so sorry you had to carry such heavy psychological scars for so long, Jami. Your story has resonated with so many men, men who are now finally ready to acknowledge the ordeals they went through and see how they can prevent this from happening. It has given them strength," he added.
Butt further wrote that social media may not be the platform to fight such cases but it is the channel to make such voices heard. How important it is to speak out, raise a voice, get rid of the taboo and start a conversation.
"Putting down the stories, censoring Jami's voice, mocking him for it is us playing into the same societal perception and stereotype when it comes to men and masculinity," he added. "And to you, reading this, if you have ever been violated, you are not an inadequate man. Reach out to those who are close to you, seek professional help."
"It will be difficult but it will be so, so important," Butt concluded.
Have something to add to the story? Share it in the comments below.
In order to cope with the trauma, Jami recalled, he had to leave Pakistan after being under therapy and medical treatment for six months. Jami's purpose of coming out with his story was to endorse the #MeToo movement and stop it from being 'hijacked' by naysayers.
While the trolls didn't leave Jami alone, industry stakeholders such as Mahira Khan came forward to support Jami's cause. On a similar note, Osman Khalid Butt, who has always been vocal against gender discrimination and injustice at large also lauded Jami for his courage.
On Tuesday morning, the Balu Mahi actor shared a blog written by The Sketches frontman, Saif Samejo, which was published in The Express Tribune. The blog talked about the importance of men coming out with their #MeToo stories and conversation around the life of survivors at large.
"Trigger warning: some thoughts on the distinct context and connotations of male sexual assault in a society like ours, and a salute to Jami for his bravery," Butt captioned the post.
"Upon writing, I realised everything I wanted to say has been penned more eloquently by Saif Samejo," he added.
In his note, the Baaji star also shared how Jami's story came up during a dinner a few days ago.
"What was astonishing to me was that every man on that table freely admitted to having been sexually harassed in one way or another: In classrooms, in public transports, in their own homes, in vulnerable moments, as children, as adults, by strangers, by men they trusted," Butt wrote. "Whatever the spectrum may lie, our bodies and our psyche has been violated."
The actor added how men do not speak openly about the trauma inflicted upon them. "We try suppressing the violence, the shame, the stigma - even though as Jami says, the details remain etched in our DNA," the actor continued.
Butt further elaborated why such incidents are beyond shameful. "In a society like ours, where sexual harassment is already under-reported, admitting that something like this happened to you, makes you a lesser man."
The actor went on and addressed the criticism of how men are supposed to be tough and protect themselves.
"Men are supposed to be tough, they should be able to resist, they should be able to protect themselves," Butt asserted. "Social norms have fed so many lies about our genders: the dominant sex, the aggressive and resilient sex - one act of sexual assault and these notions come tumbling down."
He further shared how such an incident makes men feel emotions that are considered foreign to them. Weakness, emotional imbalance and a state of submissiveness. "And then we suppress. We never disclose. Because that's weak, that's not masculine."
Lauding Jami for his bravery, the Diyar-e-Dil star penned, "What Jami has done is immensely brave, especially knowing how the #MeToo movement in Pakistan has been met with such a ferocious backlash."
"I'm so sorry you had to carry such heavy psychological scars for so long, Jami. Your story has resonated with so many men, men who are now finally ready to acknowledge the ordeals they went through and see how they can prevent this from happening. It has given them strength," he added.
Butt further wrote that social media may not be the platform to fight such cases but it is the channel to make such voices heard. How important it is to speak out, raise a voice, get rid of the taboo and start a conversation.
"Putting down the stories, censoring Jami's voice, mocking him for it is us playing into the same societal perception and stereotype when it comes to men and masculinity," he added. "And to you, reading this, if you have ever been violated, you are not an inadequate man. Reach out to those who are close to you, seek professional help."
"It will be difficult but it will be so, so important," Butt concluded.
Have something to add to the story? Share it in the comments below.