Daddy dearest

Had adoration of institutions been tinged with cynicism or question, then current fall from grace wouldn’t be severe.

All we want is a daddy who will hug us. Perhaps it was the tragic death of the Quaid so soon after Pakistan was created, leaving us without a father figure to guide us. His absence in such a formative period of our lives left us directionless, confused and hungry for a paternal authority who would tell us he loved us. So, like a confused child desperate for a new daddy, we apotheosise everyone with even a hint of authority. The military benefited from this deep-seated insecure complex of ours for so long. An institution that has always been about projecting stern, steely-jawed command, it took charge of the directionless youth that we were and imposed it’s will. In return, we adored it. Maybe, had the adoration been tinged with even the slightest bit of cynicism or questioning, then the current fall from grace wouldn’t have been so severe. If we had considered it human and thus fallible, there would have been less heartbreak when confronted by its flaws. But, like all children, we are stunned when confronted by the weaknesses of our parents. Daddy knows best, except when he doesn’t.

The Supreme Court has benefited, for a short time, from just such an unwarranted elevation. The slightest show of authority from it was enough for us to invest it with divine powers and infallibility. Even now, to question the thought process behind any of its decisions is met with shock and horror. Which means it will be all the more traumatic when we finally have to do so.

Musharraf had the tone right in the first few years of his tenure as Big Daddy. He berated us, lectured us and threatened punishment. And we loved him for it. The ending of that story should surprise no one. Interestingly enough, the political parties have never gotten to enjoy this experience. To us they have always been less ‘father figure’ and more ‘creepy uncle who keeps making you sit on his lap and pats your behind a bit too much’. Their repeated failures are seen as inevitable and pathetic. Their track record is no worse than any martial law period, yet we somehow have less patience with them. There is no starry-eyed adoration and more demands for accountability. Maybe if they yelled at us more we would have given them the misguided respect they so crave. The only political personality currently verging on that kind of achievement is Imran Khan (try criticising him and watch the PTI supporters declare jihad on your existence). It could be the same stern look he has perfected, or just that his voice has the requisite amount of bass. Either way, we are ready to let him wrap his gigantic muscled arms around us and tell us what to do. Given the repeated failures of the other candidates, there is no reason why Imran Khan shouldn’t get his chance. However, if we keep investing him with the same level of unrealistic and idealistic expectations, then the subsequent failures, however mild, will be too damaging to bear. Better, then, to treat him just like one of us, question his mistakes and critique his opinions while we can still afford to. Blind, child like enthusiasm is inspiring and makes for a great rallying movement, but all it does is set us up for crippling disappointment. Just ask any American how they feel about Obama these days.

It is important to love and respect your father, no one is denying that. As long as you remember that he, too, is a human being with flaws and weaknesses and can only parent you for so long. After that, it is up to you to parent yourself and to stay away from the creepy uncle.



Published in The Express Tribune, June 30^th, 2011.