Chef Fatima Ali and the influence of Pakistani heritage
In an essay penned before her death, Fatima shared her journey of becoming a renowned chef and battling cancer
PHOTO: FILE
As expected, Chef Fatima Ali's death seems to have saddened her international fan base. A former Top Chef contestant, the 29-year-old died last week, after a year-long battle with Ewing’s sarcoma – a rare type of cancer that affects the bone tissue. Following her passing, an essay written by the 'fan favourite' herself has been released online by Bon Appetit, to honour her memory and "share her perspective."
"I grew up in Pakistan, where food is a really integral part of the culture," Ali begins. "I started cooking with my grandmother when I was six or seven and she would teach me how to make little bread bears. They had peppercorn eyes and cloves for buttons and I remember thinking it was such an amazing thing, that I could actually make something with my own hands."
The famed cook goes on to share how she ended up in a US culinary school and stayed in New York thereafter to polish her skills. "After I graduated from the Culinary Institute of America in 2011, my mother wanted me to come home to Pakistan. But I said, 'Just give me one year in New York City. There's no place better for me to learn'.”
“Every time I’d go back to visit my family, I would cook,” Ali continues. “Watching me evolve gave my mom comfort and helped her understand that this [cooking] was absolutely my calling. So she finally let go and said, 'Look, just promise me that you'll do your absolute best. And I’ll be happy with that.' And I said, 'Okay. That’s a promise'.”
In the essay, the late chef also reveals that the first job she landed was at an Indian-Latin restaurant in New York, where she worked for nine months. After that, lady luck came into play and she suddenly became the executive chef at her next workplace. "At another job, my executive chef quit suddenly, as they often do. I was just a 21-year-old junior sous chef suddenly in charge of the whole place,” she writes. “I’d get home at one in the morning, and then have to wake up at 4 am for a private breakfast party. But if I had to do it all again, I wouldn’t change anything."
Ali then gets to the more difficult part of her life: her illness. "When I got diagnosed with cancer, I had just finished filming Top Chef in Colorado. It was 2017 and I was working at The US Open tennis tournament. I’d had this weird ache in my shoulder for the past couple of months that I had been ignoring. But one day, in the middle of lunch, my shoulder swelled up and the pain was mounting literally by the minute. I had to go to the emergency room,” she says.
"There, they gave me an MRI literally within 20 minutes of seeing me because I was in so much pain. The doctor called me and says, 'I want to refer you to an oncologist.' And that was just the beginning..."
Ali shares how realising that she had cancer felt. "Honestly, until your first chemo cycle, I don’t think it really hits you. Then your hair starts falling out and finally, you’re like, 'This is actually happening. This is the rest of my life’,” she said. “I did eight rounds of chemo. It was horrible but at the end, my scans were all clear. I thought I’d beaten it. Then it came back worse than before. It had spread to my lungs. The doctors told me I had a year to live."
However, this news didn't seem to break Ali. If anything, it gave her the courage to do all the things she had always wanted to do in her life. "The first thing I did was dye my hair platinum blonde. I thought, 'I’m dying, so why not?' I felt like I had to reclaim the hair thing. I was like, 'Stop feeling sorry for yourself'!”
She adds, “I‘ve been to many hospitals and when you’re around that much sickness and you see people from all sorts of backgrounds in all stages of the disease, it really gives you perspective. So I decided not to spend whatever time I had left lamenting all the things that weren’t right. Instead, I’d make the most of it.”
The way Ali saw it, cancer was an opportunity. “I’m using it as the excuse I needed to actually go and get things done. What is my intention? It is to live my life; to fulfill all those genuine dreams I have,” she states. “It’s easy to spend weeks in my pajamas, curled up in my bed. But now, I’m doing things. I’m going out to eat. I’m making plans for vacations. I’m finding experimental treatments. I’m cooking. I’m writing. My brother and I have challenged ourselves to write a recipe a day with Pakistani spices. He wants to compile them all and will turn them into something one day. We’re also planning a trip to Europe."
But at the end of the day, Ali was still human. "There are days that I'm exceptionally afraid. There are days I sit alone and cry because I don't want to do it in front of my family. And there are other days that we all sit down and cry together because it is such a scary thing,” she admits. “But at the same time, you can't let that fear cripple you,” concludes Ali.
Have something to add to the story? Share it in the comments below.
"I grew up in Pakistan, where food is a really integral part of the culture," Ali begins. "I started cooking with my grandmother when I was six or seven and she would teach me how to make little bread bears. They had peppercorn eyes and cloves for buttons and I remember thinking it was such an amazing thing, that I could actually make something with my own hands."
The famed cook goes on to share how she ended up in a US culinary school and stayed in New York thereafter to polish her skills. "After I graduated from the Culinary Institute of America in 2011, my mother wanted me to come home to Pakistan. But I said, 'Just give me one year in New York City. There's no place better for me to learn'.”
“Every time I’d go back to visit my family, I would cook,” Ali continues. “Watching me evolve gave my mom comfort and helped her understand that this [cooking] was absolutely my calling. So she finally let go and said, 'Look, just promise me that you'll do your absolute best. And I’ll be happy with that.' And I said, 'Okay. That’s a promise'.”
In the essay, the late chef also reveals that the first job she landed was at an Indian-Latin restaurant in New York, where she worked for nine months. After that, lady luck came into play and she suddenly became the executive chef at her next workplace. "At another job, my executive chef quit suddenly, as they often do. I was just a 21-year-old junior sous chef suddenly in charge of the whole place,” she writes. “I’d get home at one in the morning, and then have to wake up at 4 am for a private breakfast party. But if I had to do it all again, I wouldn’t change anything."
Ali then gets to the more difficult part of her life: her illness. "When I got diagnosed with cancer, I had just finished filming Top Chef in Colorado. It was 2017 and I was working at The US Open tennis tournament. I’d had this weird ache in my shoulder for the past couple of months that I had been ignoring. But one day, in the middle of lunch, my shoulder swelled up and the pain was mounting literally by the minute. I had to go to the emergency room,” she says.
"There, they gave me an MRI literally within 20 minutes of seeing me because I was in so much pain. The doctor called me and says, 'I want to refer you to an oncologist.' And that was just the beginning..."
Ali shares how realising that she had cancer felt. "Honestly, until your first chemo cycle, I don’t think it really hits you. Then your hair starts falling out and finally, you’re like, 'This is actually happening. This is the rest of my life’,” she said. “I did eight rounds of chemo. It was horrible but at the end, my scans were all clear. I thought I’d beaten it. Then it came back worse than before. It had spread to my lungs. The doctors told me I had a year to live."
However, this news didn't seem to break Ali. If anything, it gave her the courage to do all the things she had always wanted to do in her life. "The first thing I did was dye my hair platinum blonde. I thought, 'I’m dying, so why not?' I felt like I had to reclaim the hair thing. I was like, 'Stop feeling sorry for yourself'!”
She adds, “I‘ve been to many hospitals and when you’re around that much sickness and you see people from all sorts of backgrounds in all stages of the disease, it really gives you perspective. So I decided not to spend whatever time I had left lamenting all the things that weren’t right. Instead, I’d make the most of it.”
The way Ali saw it, cancer was an opportunity. “I’m using it as the excuse I needed to actually go and get things done. What is my intention? It is to live my life; to fulfill all those genuine dreams I have,” she states. “It’s easy to spend weeks in my pajamas, curled up in my bed. But now, I’m doing things. I’m going out to eat. I’m making plans for vacations. I’m finding experimental treatments. I’m cooking. I’m writing. My brother and I have challenged ourselves to write a recipe a day with Pakistani spices. He wants to compile them all and will turn them into something one day. We’re also planning a trip to Europe."
But at the end of the day, Ali was still human. "There are days that I'm exceptionally afraid. There are days I sit alone and cry because I don't want to do it in front of my family. And there are other days that we all sit down and cry together because it is such a scary thing,” she admits. “But at the same time, you can't let that fear cripple you,” concludes Ali.
Have something to add to the story? Share it in the comments below.