10 things I hate about Facebook

1. Rampant and random "friend" requests. Look man, I haven't seen or called you in 20 years for a reason... If we ain't friends in "real" life why should we be friends in our "virtual" life?

2. Farmville & Mafia Wars updates. Nobody likes to discover the friends they thought were intelligent are actually morons.

3. The ease with which you can find yourself at three in the morning bleary-eyed with a head full of useless trivia about people you have never met. (Yup, I agree that isn't Facebook's fault.)

4. "Groups" that don't do anything, anything at all but sit around and leave wisecracks on a virtual bulletin board, or spam me with bulletins.

5. No one mails invites, photographs or letters anymore. Yeah, as in with a stamp, in an envelope.

6. People seem to make movies, take photographs and write for the sole purpose of having things to show 936 virtual strangers.

7. Movies of kittens playing with a ball of string or babies who won’t stop laughing plastered on my page. And Farmville updates and Mafia War updates...

8. T.M.I (TOO MUCH INFORMATION). I don’t love you that much yaar that I want to know what you think or what you do every second of every minute of every hour of every day...

9. Signing in and finding pictures of yourself that someone else has put up and “tagged” you in. I’ll put up the pictures of me thank you very much.

10. It’s pretty lonely without the Pakistani posse on it...Farmville, Mafia Wars and all.

Published in the Express Tribune, June 6, 2010.