Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother: A mother’s manifesto

Author: Amy Chua

Genre: Parenting memoir

Publisher: The Penguin Press 2011

Excerpt:

“A lot of people wonder how Chinese parents raise such stereotypically successful kids. They wonder what these parents do to produce so many Math whizzes and music prodigies, and whether they could do it too. Well, I can tell them because I have done it. Here are some things my daughters were never allowed to do:

•   Attend a sleepover

•   Have a play date

•   Be in a school play

•   Complain about not being in a school play

•   Watch TV or play computer games

•   Choose their own extra curricular activities

•   Get any grade less than an A

•   Not be the #1 student in every subject except gym and drama

•   Play any instrument other than the piano or the violin”


A boot camp from hell! That’s the first thing that comes to mind (at least to me) about the author’s nest as one flips through this unique and at times, shockingly revolting manual in parenting.

Born to a Chinese migrant family in America, Amy Chua, the author of this ‘autobiography as a mother’ provides a peek into the Chinese mind set. It is a revealing insight into how Chinese people, despite geographical displacement over generations, have kept up with a millennia old legacy of excellence, especially when it comes to education.

It might seem one of those Confucian things to stick by but it is no secret that the Chinese value education obsessively. A recent edition of the Economist talked about how the Western corporate sector finds it difficult to penetrate the Chinese youth market mainly because the government is watchful of its entry into Chinese schools and colleges.

While western sensibilities encourage more independence in youth, the Chinese have a strictly conservative notion whereby it is the children’s ‘job’ to study and the trend of ‘on campus jobs’ or waiting out at fast food chains etc is discouraged.

The book is a more personal introduction to this generally Chinese way of thinking. A Graduate of Harvard Law School and presently Professor at the Yale University, Chua’s real achievement in life has been the portrayal of her role as a typical Chinese mother surviving against a Western system of parenting. Despite the risk of being censured by her peers or branded as an Asian ‘monster mom’ or, worst of all, being hated by her own daughters for a seemingly dictatorial rearing; Chua braved the odds and has kept up with the Chinese ways while bringing up her two daughters.

Throughout the book, the reader can’t help judging the author for being downright cruel with her children, especially when she rather satisfactorily details the intense grilling she puts them through.

One couldn’t help but feel sorry for the girls at times when they would be put through extra practice drills just because they came in a second spot or have a hair-splitting argument over why they did not sit through the ‘extra credit’ portion in the test. One would like to give the poor souls a break.

However, a ‘break’ is exactly the thing that this Chinese mother would not allow for her children to have. It is one of those western limitations that have nurtured mediocrity in American children. This system of giving above average credit to below average performance is more scarring to a child’s self esteem than the worst haranguing of a Chinese parent that is meant purely for correction in the hindsight. This is what Chua believes and therefore she wouldn’t let a pitiful break destroy the four thousand year old Chinese legacy of brilliance.

At many instances, it does come across as an effort by the writer to justify her parenting techniques, perhaps to pacify an incipient guilt for being a wee bit harsh on her daughters. The writer does also admit the fear of being despised by her own daughters for her seemingly archaic methods.

All this, however, has never stopped this tiger mom from being…well…a beast. According to Chua, there are more Chinese children who are good at Mathematics or are child prodigies not just because of some genetic advantage but because they are raised to be high achievers.

Chua wouldn’t quite come across as the psychotic, over ambitious, demonically demanding mother to many of the Asian readers because, call it a continental cultural approach, but most Asian parents are traditionally as indulgent with their children’s lives as the ‘tiger mother’.

It is maybe an Asian thing to believe that parents know best and do best for their children, therefore in all likelihood the children must obey them without raising any questions. This may sound old school and barbaric, but the fact remains that Asian children have mostly outperformed other ethnicities following this system that seems straight out of a Nazi concentration camp.

While the tiger mother approach is highly controversial and heavily criticised by western educationists, the fact remains that Chua has raised two child prodigies. Her older daughter Sophie performed at the Carnegie Hall when she was 14, while the younger one; Lulu won a violin prodigy award.

The daily dueling with her daughters may just have paid off for Chua who is not all that critical of western methods after all. With an American born (high achieving) husband, Chua did have access to a few niceties of this system and maybe also a voice of sanity on usually frantic days.

From outrageous confessions to shocking revelations about parenthood, the book is written in an exceedingly accessible and at times delightfully humourous narrative.

Agreeable or not, this battle hymn of the tiger mother is worth giving time to.



Published in The Express Tribune, May 28^th, 2011.