The life and times of Amir Zaki: Remembering the guitarist on his first death anniversary

‘Mera Pyar’ hit maker battled inner demons for years, producing music not despite but because of them

KARACHI: Needless to say, Amir Zaki’s death on June 2 last year shocked Pakistan deeply. For someone like me, the news was extremely painful, followed by a long moment of denial and then, a period of reflection.

A year before Zaki’s passing, I had had an opportunity to share a telephone conversation with him a couple of times. I never met the guitar virtuoso. I was merely a voice on the other end of the phone; a young reporter asking him questions about himself. But in my mind, as anyone else’s, Zaki was a great, great musician whose name I had become familiar with even before I started listening to music. In my mind, he had that mystery and mystique of a true artiste – a quality I valued greatly.

PHOTO: EXPRESS

But it was only after Zaki left us that I mentally attempted to demystify him. Here was a man, a legend in his field but plagued with mortal problems just like any one of us. A bipolar disorder and depression had consumed the Mera Pyar hit maker. A drug addiction helped him cope for a time of period. And let’s not even talk about his financial issues.

Guitarist Aamir Zaki passes away at 49

Zaki was an artist who battled his inner demons for years and years and produced music, perhaps not despite them but because of them. A tortured soul is the biggest clichéd in the world, but it’s unfortunately quite accurate in the case of many like Zaki. It’s most often true that an artist needs that burning fire, that constant urge to itch, a certain compulsion to create art. It’s becomes the only way to ease the pain, even if only for a few moments.

PHOTO: PUBLICITY

Depressed and broke with only his illnesses as company, Zaki died of a heart attack. Within two months of his passing, Linkin’ Park front man Chester Bennington was found dead in an apparent suicide. His were similar causes: depression. In a tweet, his widow Talinda spoke of how “depression doesn’t have a face or mood” but I beg to differ. If depression had a face, it’d be that of almost every great artist that has ever lived. It’s after Bennington’s death that it occurred to me that it could be only a matter of time before depression takes you. It took Zaki and has taken many others before him.

Zaki dedicated his life to music and fought his battles in secret. Fans or journalists wouldn’t know or care. We prefer to maintain the mystery of an artist; to think of them in reverence.

PHOTO: PUBLICITY

But to demystify them doesn’t necessarily mean shedding them off their qualities. It’s not about stripping off of their mystical cloak but rather to look into their human hearts, feel compassion and understand them. As Zaki himself would tell you, “Admitting you have problems is problematic for society,” which prefers you hide your darkness and feign being alright. One would think, in this day and age, things would be different but they’re really not. And the cycle continues.

The story behind Aamir Zaki's 'Mera Pyar' in his own words

When we think of Zaki, it’s important to remember his legacy: his time with Vital Signs, solo albums and out-of-the-world guitar riffs. But it’s equally imperative to remember him as an individual; a man who needed help but didn’t get any. And that doesn’t mean he needed sympathy. Zaki was too proud to beg for help or sympathy but too human to remain isolated and too skilled to be ignored.

Rest in music, Zaki!

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