My children will be better tomorrow because I am working today: Kajol
Bollywood superstar opens up on her personal tug of war between motherhood and her love for acting
Kajol was last seen in 2015’s Dilwale. PHOTO: FILE
“We, as mothers and women, always feel guilty,” Kajol Devgn, one of Bollywood’s most successful actors and a mother of two, admitted with a sigh while speaking about being a working mother recently.
The challenges that come along with juggling between motherhood and work are aplenty but for Kajol, who has now spent over two-decades in the film industry, the biggest obstacle she faced was her own guilt.
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The iconic Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge star spoke about the self-reproach that women put themselves through, her own struggles as a working mother and why despite all of this, she chooses to do what she loves: being in front of the camera.
“You always feel guilty. I have said this 100 times over that one of the biggest things that we as mothers deal with is guilt, we as women also deal with this,” Kajol told The Indian Express. “It forms the basis of so many of our opinions about ourselves, about the world around us and our relationships with other people. I think if you erase the guilt that we have, our relationships would be much, much healthier. But at the same time there are a lot of situations where you cannot erase that guilt. My kids… They are one of the places where I struggle every day. That’s something I have not yet managed,” the actor said.
Kajol, however, appreciated the fact that she has never been questioned by her family for the choices she made as a mother. In fact, according to her, she has always had their support. “Ajay’s support matters a lot. I was very lucky that I had in-laws who were so wonderful. My mother, sister, father and my husband… Nobody ever made me feel guilty. It was all me,” she shared. “I still feel guilty. Now that I am here, my son was like ‘You are not coming swimming with me.’ It’s not as if I was not with him for the whole week. We were together. I took him for swimming twice but yes, the one time that I didn’t take him, I feel guilty about it. It’s not on a colossal level but it’s there.”
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Nonetheless, while the actor is yet to make peace with this self-reproach attitude, Kajol said it can never stop her from working because she loves it. Also, she believes that by continuing to work, she is actually setting a good example for her kids.
“It’s just forgiving yourself and you (need to think) that this is what you have to do daily, the smallest, the biggest, the things that don’t matter to anyone else but to you. Those are the times that you need to forgive yourself and go forward. And work is one of those things,” Kajol continued. “I know for a fact that when my kids grow up, they will respect me all the more for it, and my son will turn around and want a working wife because he would say, ‘I want to respect my wife as much as I respected my mother.’ I hope and pray that he thinks like that! I am working him towards that, slowly and surely. I am subconsciously giving him that message. So, I think my children will be better tomorrow because I am working today and I am giving them a better example as a parent to look up to.”
Have something to add to the story? Share it in the comments below.
The challenges that come along with juggling between motherhood and work are aplenty but for Kajol, who has now spent over two-decades in the film industry, the biggest obstacle she faced was her own guilt.
Karan Johar plays down Kangana's nepotism remarks
The iconic Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge star spoke about the self-reproach that women put themselves through, her own struggles as a working mother and why despite all of this, she chooses to do what she loves: being in front of the camera.
“You always feel guilty. I have said this 100 times over that one of the biggest things that we as mothers deal with is guilt, we as women also deal with this,” Kajol told The Indian Express. “It forms the basis of so many of our opinions about ourselves, about the world around us and our relationships with other people. I think if you erase the guilt that we have, our relationships would be much, much healthier. But at the same time there are a lot of situations where you cannot erase that guilt. My kids… They are one of the places where I struggle every day. That’s something I have not yet managed,” the actor said.
Kajol, however, appreciated the fact that she has never been questioned by her family for the choices she made as a mother. In fact, according to her, she has always had their support. “Ajay’s support matters a lot. I was very lucky that I had in-laws who were so wonderful. My mother, sister, father and my husband… Nobody ever made me feel guilty. It was all me,” she shared. “I still feel guilty. Now that I am here, my son was like ‘You are not coming swimming with me.’ It’s not as if I was not with him for the whole week. We were together. I took him for swimming twice but yes, the one time that I didn’t take him, I feel guilty about it. It’s not on a colossal level but it’s there.”
Sad that 'My Name Is Khan' is still relevant: SRK
Nonetheless, while the actor is yet to make peace with this self-reproach attitude, Kajol said it can never stop her from working because she loves it. Also, she believes that by continuing to work, she is actually setting a good example for her kids.
“It’s just forgiving yourself and you (need to think) that this is what you have to do daily, the smallest, the biggest, the things that don’t matter to anyone else but to you. Those are the times that you need to forgive yourself and go forward. And work is one of those things,” Kajol continued. “I know for a fact that when my kids grow up, they will respect me all the more for it, and my son will turn around and want a working wife because he would say, ‘I want to respect my wife as much as I respected my mother.’ I hope and pray that he thinks like that! I am working him towards that, slowly and surely. I am subconsciously giving him that message. So, I think my children will be better tomorrow because I am working today and I am giving them a better example as a parent to look up to.”
Have something to add to the story? Share it in the comments below.