Rishta experts think clients have turned superficial with time
Matrimonial experts think clients have turned superficial with time
Matrimonial experts think clients have turned superficial with time
LAHORE:
Gone are the days when parents would spend months questioning, discussing and investigating suitable marriage proposals for their children. The grandmothers and aunts would insist on extensive research and analysis, if you will, before conclusions are drawn. However, with changing times, trends have changed too. Today, all you really need is a good matchmaker to hook you up with the best of what she has to offer.
So exactly how big is this network of marriage bureaus? How do they work and what ensures the success of the marriages they make happen? Clifton Women Welfare Society Chairperson Mumtaz Qureshi is a name synonymous with the matrimonial business in Karachi for over three decades. She has witnessed the many changes in demands with respect to marriages, over the years, and how people have become increasingly superficial. “Good education from a renowned institution is a must,” she said. “An undergraduate degree in arts is not enough today, as it once was. Earlier, people used to seek good families, which was one of their top preferences; now however, they focus on how much the boy earns and whether or no the girl’s family resides in a bungalow!”
The demands aren’t only restricted to finances and property ownership, shared Qureshi, as people have started digging deeper into religious backgrounds as well. “Earlier, people used to just ask about broad religious groups such as Shi’i and Sunni. Now, they want to know more [about sub-groups],” she said.
More than anything, Qureshi has noticed how people are quick to ‘seal the deal’ the moment they realise the boy’s earnings, the girl’s education, the family’s social status, citizenships and appearances are good enough.
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Tahira Zafar, a Lahore-based matrimonial expert explained why people trust women working for welfare instead of professional marriage bureaus that mint money. “People trust me a lot because of my high society social circle and because they know I do it for no personal gains. There are people who take money and turn out to be frauds and that’s why people are scared of professionals.” Another Lahori, Mrs Shah, as she is known, echoed Zafar’s thoughts. “I have quite a name in the posh areas of Lahore because there are very few educated people in this business and people who are sick of fraudulent marriage bureaus come to me,” she said.
Another proof of how fed-up people are of being cheated by frauds in the matrimonial business is the success of the now-defunct matchmaking show of Pakistan’s bestselling writer Mustansir Hussain Tarar. He said the show was a need of the hour. “The basic reason was that the joint family system that South Asia is famous for was breaking up. And with families drifting further away from each other, we went ahead with this programme to help people find potential matches.”
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The veteran travelogue writer, who was initially reluctant to do the show, had taken it up as a responsibility to save the “challenging environment”. Tarar also highlighted the issue of youngsters wanting to find their own soul mates instead of letting the adults take care of things. “Youngsters have become choosy with time because of the environment they are growing up in. They want to make their own choices. In our society, dating is still not acceptable. That is still a big issue.”
The show was a stupendous hit, not only in Pakistan but across the border as well. During its eight-year run it received over 78,000 proposals applications and helped people from all backgrounds find their perfect match. “This was a positive contribution for matchmaking. I learnt the youth’s perspective on life, relationships and love through it,” he concluded.
Published in The Express Tribune, May 15th, 2016.
Gone are the days when parents would spend months questioning, discussing and investigating suitable marriage proposals for their children. The grandmothers and aunts would insist on extensive research and analysis, if you will, before conclusions are drawn. However, with changing times, trends have changed too. Today, all you really need is a good matchmaker to hook you up with the best of what she has to offer.
So exactly how big is this network of marriage bureaus? How do they work and what ensures the success of the marriages they make happen? Clifton Women Welfare Society Chairperson Mumtaz Qureshi is a name synonymous with the matrimonial business in Karachi for over three decades. She has witnessed the many changes in demands with respect to marriages, over the years, and how people have become increasingly superficial. “Good education from a renowned institution is a must,” she said. “An undergraduate degree in arts is not enough today, as it once was. Earlier, people used to seek good families, which was one of their top preferences; now however, they focus on how much the boy earns and whether or no the girl’s family resides in a bungalow!”
The demands aren’t only restricted to finances and property ownership, shared Qureshi, as people have started digging deeper into religious backgrounds as well. “Earlier, people used to just ask about broad religious groups such as Shi’i and Sunni. Now, they want to know more [about sub-groups],” she said.
More than anything, Qureshi has noticed how people are quick to ‘seal the deal’ the moment they realise the boy’s earnings, the girl’s education, the family’s social status, citizenships and appearances are good enough.
Pakistani society averse to entrepreneurship
Tahira Zafar, a Lahore-based matrimonial expert explained why people trust women working for welfare instead of professional marriage bureaus that mint money. “People trust me a lot because of my high society social circle and because they know I do it for no personal gains. There are people who take money and turn out to be frauds and that’s why people are scared of professionals.” Another Lahori, Mrs Shah, as she is known, echoed Zafar’s thoughts. “I have quite a name in the posh areas of Lahore because there are very few educated people in this business and people who are sick of fraudulent marriage bureaus come to me,” she said.
Another proof of how fed-up people are of being cheated by frauds in the matrimonial business is the success of the now-defunct matchmaking show of Pakistan’s bestselling writer Mustansir Hussain Tarar. He said the show was a need of the hour. “The basic reason was that the joint family system that South Asia is famous for was breaking up. And with families drifting further away from each other, we went ahead with this programme to help people find potential matches.”
21 thoughts every girl who loves food goes through at a wedding
The veteran travelogue writer, who was initially reluctant to do the show, had taken it up as a responsibility to save the “challenging environment”. Tarar also highlighted the issue of youngsters wanting to find their own soul mates instead of letting the adults take care of things. “Youngsters have become choosy with time because of the environment they are growing up in. They want to make their own choices. In our society, dating is still not acceptable. That is still a big issue.”
The show was a stupendous hit, not only in Pakistan but across the border as well. During its eight-year run it received over 78,000 proposals applications and helped people from all backgrounds find their perfect match. “This was a positive contribution for matchmaking. I learnt the youth’s perspective on life, relationships and love through it,” he concluded.
Published in The Express Tribune, May 15th, 2016.