Words of wis-dumb

A great leader inspires. A great leader leads. Most importantly, a great leader leaves behind a legacy of language that can one day be used as motivational quotes placed in a power point template to be presented at leadership seminars. We’ve all heard them before. “A house divided against itself cannot stand,” said Abraham Lincoln. Mahatma Gandhi shall always be revered for stating “An eye for an eye makes the whole world go blind.”

I humbly submit, in these ranks, a man who can inspire and uplift, motivate and embolden. A man who, with his ability to manipulate language and meaning like Superman twisting and bending steel itself, has given us a new reason to be proud of ourselves. It is not an easy task this venerable hero has set for himself. To bring nobility to a people as defeated from without and within as we is no simple achievement. Yet with a few words he has brought us all together once again.

I can see it now. Can envision the very instant in which he said that which awoke in me the resolve I needed to persevere. Leaning forward, hair glistening with gel, in a room full of foreign journalists, he announced: “The answer to democracy is more democracy.” Take a bow President Asif Ali Zardari. Your place on wikiquotes.com and brainquotes.com is guaranteed, even if I have to petition them myself. “The answer to democracy is more democracy.” It’s such a simple conceit, mathematical in its precision. 1+1=More 1. Maybe it was a proof he learned during his time at the legendary London School of Economics and Business. Legendary because, like the Gryphon and the Abominable Snowman, it has yet to be found. The genius of this statement is that it can be applied to anything. Example: The answer to jam is more jam.

If, however, like the Time magazine journalist who printed this quote in a recent interview, you cannot see the magnificent logic inherent in this statement, I offer you others made in the same meeting with the press: “It’s not the sun that melts the glacier, it’s the rain.” That momentous redefinition of global warming still not good enough for you? How about our leader’s attempt at geographical realignment when he announced “We’re on the soviet border.” The simple minded amongst you may assume he has no understanding of a map, but you can be forgiven for that. You lack the vision and foresight required to make this claim. It was a hint at our regional strategic ambitions. We will one day take over Afghanistan which does share said border. Genius. Still not convinced you ungrateful louts? Then how about his analysis of the backlash against the relaxation he so rightly sought in the comforts of his French chateau (you know, the one his ancestors were gifted after impressing Napoleon with their cinema management skills): “It gives me a reassurance that I am so wanted.” That popping sound you just heard is your brain exploding.

So, you are wondering, how can these quotes inspire us? What makes them so great? Consider this: The time you spent pondering the logic conundrum about democracy, or researching our borders, or even wrapping your head around how the cries of protest and screams of rage were just our way of saying “we miss you”, is time you haven’t spent depressed about the flood and the irreparable damage it has done to our populace and economy. It’s time you haven’t spent angry over the societal ramifications of the brutality of vigilantism. It’s time you’ve been grateful for being you and not him. President Zardari has distracted us from our pain in the same way Mel Gibon distracts Americans from how jobless they are. Now if you will excuse me, I need to indulge in some “Scotching” (a term coined by the man himself in an interview with The New York Times in 2009) before my mind clears again.