1. The perfect timing of Fareeda Aunty’s mental breakdown. Just when she was about to be held responsible, maybe even punished a bit, she decided to fake the ‘crazy eyes’ for us all. I’m so totally going to do that the next time I’m in trouble. After all, all it takes is calling someone you despise a ‘pari’ and acting a bit ditzy.
2. The wonderful son Asher. Despite all that mother dearest did — from ruining her son’s marriage to indirectly killing a girl — he STILL does not kick her to the curb. Instead, to the dismay of millions of Pakistani girls, he gives her a hug and a kiss!
3. Khirad’s intelligence. If your daughter’s back to normal after heart surgery and you know your in-laws are direct descendants of the devil himself, you’re going to take her to a better place … NOT decide to leave her with them forever and ever. How stupid are you?
4. The repetitive song. WOoooooooooooh HUmsaaaaaaaaaaafar thaaaaaaaaaaaaa. Repeat 500 times until you want to say: “Haan thaa humsafar, but he turned out to be a wimpy loser tied to his mother’s apron strings, so stop rubbing it in QB.”
5. The well-written dialogues. Fareeda Aunty: “Sara ‘MARR’ gaye.” For god’s sake, I wouldn’t say that even about my pet gerbil. Wafaat hogaye, death hogaye, iss duniya se chali gaye, but NOT marr gaye!
6. Saroo or Stalker Sara. Couldn’t she just have moved on? Like, really, he’s cute and all but really? Suicide? It’s not like hell will be filled with Asher lookalikes!
7. Fareeda Aunty’s impossible challenge: “Agar tum meri zindagi mein sabit kerdo, yeh bacha meray Asher ka hay, tou tum jeetein mein haari.” Hello, DNA testing anyone? You know that thing called science, which figures it all out, how about we use that right about now?
8. After calling Khirad every ugly name in the book, all it took to turn her into a ‘bakirdaar aurat’ in Asher’s opinion once again, was one hell of a persuasive letter and some eavesdropping. Why didn’t he stumble upon the letter before? Why didn’t he eavesdrop before?
9. Khirad’s hypocrisy. From strong statements like “Yeh aik waqti samjhota hay” and “Aap ka beta meray liye mar gaya hay” to her sheepish admission in the last episode, “Mohabbat mari tou naheen, kho gaye hay” in barely three episodes? So basically Fareeda aunty was right, Khirad was out to make her way into Asher’s heart, that witch!
10. The lack of a real apology from Ushaaa Ushaaa. Come to think of it, did he ever really apologise-apologise to her? Did he actually get down on his knees and say the words “I’m sorry, maaf kerdo?” If you call that contorted face, hitting head against some random pole on the street an apology, I don’t buy that. Had I been Khirad, he could’ve bled to death and I’d still not take him back.
Published in The Express Tribune, Sunday Magazine, March 11th, 2012.
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