10 things I hate about skinny jeans

Published: February 19, 2012

Getting them on. Groan, grunt, tug, suck in and ahhhhh! They are finally over your calves.

1.    Getting them on. Groan, grunt, tug, suck in and ahhhhh! They are finally over your calves. Repeat to get them over your thighs, and then, the worst… the hips. You might wobble a little bit and, in extreme cases, hop vigorously too.

2.   Getting them off. Peel them over your waist and then get an unwilling accomplice to pull them off while you sit on a chair, legs stuck out straight in front of you. One huge tug and the deed is done. If you are lucky, your accomplice will not be sprawled on the ground with the jeans in her hands.

3.   If you have gained some weight, be prepared for the ‘thunder-thigh’, ‘bubble butt’, and ‘round rump’ syndrome. Once they are on, there is no hiding the flab.

4.   They just don’t seem to fit after meals. If you have starved all day to fit into them, don’t fool yourself in to thinking that you can afford to eat dinner. Make that mistake and you might just split a seam.

5.   The smallest rip is actually a gaping hole in the stretchy material of these skinnys. You discover a pea-sized hole in them — no problem, who is going to notice that? You manage to get into the jeggings, and after the effort of pulling them on, you forget to check if the hole is actually visible. Next thing you know, you have walked around your entire office building with a huge hole on your behind!

6.   They look so damn good on skinny girls. Isn’t the whole point of jeggings to make you look skinnier than you actually are? Nope — there will be no kapra relief to hide your flab once the jeans are on.

7.    You bought a pair of jeggings, wore them once, and threw them in the laundry hamper. Next thing you know, your jeans have shrunk, and now you are wearing a very tight pair of capris that are cutting off circulation on your lower calf.

8.   Bending is a little difficult in skinny jeans. So is twisting, stretching, turning, and any sudden movement. Dare to do any of the above, and you might have to tie a sweater around your waist to hide the rip near your backside.

9.   If you have a small bladder, jeggings aren’t for you. The elastic waist will squeeze your lower abdomen, and you will be rushing to the bathroom every half hour.

10.   Wearing these tight, skin-fitted denims during the summer is a terrible idea. Do so, and suffer sweaty legs with no respite as there is absolutely no place for the air to seep through.

Published in The Express Tribune, Sunday Magazine, February 19th, 2012.

Reader Comments (28)

  • Feb 19, 2012 - 12:36PM

    Why every time, only 10 things to hate, why not more or less

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  • s.w.a
    Feb 19, 2012 - 12:40PM

    Jeans and jeggings are different things! Jeans dont rip..Recommend

  • maria
    Feb 19, 2012 - 12:41PM

    as stupid as it gets…..n its not even a blog………..totally lame…!!!

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  • Feb 19, 2012 - 12:43PM

    Funny article !!
    Buhh for girls tight jeans ?? ehh am i missing something !!!
    Yup , islam forbids for such dressing.

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  • Mehak
    Feb 19, 2012 - 12:46PM

    If your skinny jeans were your size, none of the above would have ever happened.

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  • Feb 19, 2012 - 12:49PM

    i love this article.. really i hate these kind of jeans

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  • truth is bitter
    Feb 19, 2012 - 12:56PM

    I don’t understand why ET chose to publish . There are much important matters than this .

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  • Feb 19, 2012 - 1:13PM

    thats a nutcracker

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  • A2Z
    Feb 19, 2012 - 1:15PM

    well there should be islamic jeans, just like islamic facebook and islamic mobile.

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  • Haniya
    Feb 19, 2012 - 1:18PM

    Has some doctor prescribed you to wear skinny jeans???

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  • rokhanghalib
    Feb 19, 2012 - 1:21PM

    Hahaha thats a good one. i just love wearing skinny jeans along with northstar shoes but for fat people its a problem to wear skinny jeans but it looks good with most of the people…

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  • Okzzz
    Feb 19, 2012 - 2:01PM

    Come on these are not for you, blondies having no problem with skinnys and jeggings ;) Change your hair color…. thats the remedy

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  • Frantic
    Feb 19, 2012 - 2:15PM

    Love skinny jeans….. \m/

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  • Feb 19, 2012 - 2:36PM

    Dear author, have u ever even worn skinny jeans?

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  • df
    Feb 19, 2012 - 3:32PM

    This is so lame. Boring, pointless and monotonous. not even funny.

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  • Danyal
    Feb 19, 2012 - 3:51PM

    I didn’t understand how to wear it.Recommend

  • zehra
    Feb 19, 2012 - 6:09PM

    great article….. all true

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  • zehra
    Feb 19, 2012 - 6:11PM

    great article .. all true

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  • JN
    Feb 19, 2012 - 9:04PM

    Tight jeans are not made to be worn in the hot and humid weather of Pakistan…
    They are most used in winter seasons in Europe and extreme chilled places.

    Dont follow fashion blindly….

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  • umair
    Feb 20, 2012 - 12:28AM

    You’re jealous cuz ur fat

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  • BLing BLing
    Feb 20, 2012 - 5:06AM

    Jeggings are a cross between leggings and skinnies, jeggings are supposed to be tighter while skinnies are not as tight and more forgiving. If you are overweight or do not have a toned body, wear it with longer shirts or mini dresses. Though I am petite, i would never wear jeggings, i hate the look of it but i really skinnies. This is a poor article. You can wear straight legged for a classic look, flared if you are bottom heavy and nobody gives you stares in the West. I have worn shalwar qameez to malls and events and people have told me how much they love it. Dont be a slave to fashion, wear what you like and feel good in with your chin up and watch it become the latest trend. ;)Recommend

  • ABC
    Feb 20, 2012 - 1:30PM

    You have never worn skinny jeans. That is all I can say.

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  • Ali
    Feb 21, 2012 - 10:02AM

    You should ‘ve purchased quality branded jeans… not from sasta bazar!

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  • Rabyaaaaa
    Feb 23, 2012 - 12:05AM

    I love skinny jeans, but I love you bro.
    This is cool <3

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  • Rabyaaaaa
    Feb 23, 2012 - 12:12AM

    SKINNY JEANS ARE LOVE.

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  • Hareem
    Mar 4, 2012 - 2:16PM

    What is this? Who asked you to buy a pair of size small when you are size extra large. Only in that condition would all tat is written above could happen! Duh.

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  • sadaqat
    Mar 10, 2012 - 7:33PM

    wow the article gives me the feel that writing blog is not a big deal, nothing you have to consider just write & write. it’s not your responsibility to think what you are writing and why.

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  • R@bi
    Mar 21, 2012 - 12:50PM

    Nice article just to pass the time…………

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