Land of conspiracies

Published: November 16, 2011

The writer is a former professor at Quaid-i-Azam University and holds a doctorate in modern history

No matter where you live, if things aren’t going well for your country, blame the father of all troubles for everything — of course, I mean America.

Arab Spring? What spring? It’s a terrible typhoon for the Muslim world instigated by, yes, you guessed it, America. First, they elected a president with a Muslim name, but who really hates Islam and Muslims. Then, they made him give nice speeches in Cairo, Istanbul and Jakarta to confuse Muslims and stir them against their own governments. Now we are seeing their action plan in motion.

They are killing not two but three birds with one stone. Firstly they kill Qaddafi for being anti-American and anti-Israel, second, they grab Libya’s oil wealth and, third, they create the impression that they are friends of the Libyan and Arab people. Having sucked Iraq’s vast oil fields dry, they are now going after Libya’s oil.

Assad, too, has to be removed for being the staunchest anti-Israel Muslim leader. Syria not only upholds Arab pride, but is the only Arab country friendly to Iran, which is close to becoming the second Islamic country with nuclear weapons after Pakistan.

Qaddafi and Bashar alAssad are being punished for standing up to America and Israel, not for being dictators or denying their own people their rights. But, you will say, the pro-American Hosni Mubarak and Ben Ali were also overthrown.

It would not look good if America only went after Qaddafi and Assad. The whole world would see the plot. I also think that under Mubarak, Egypt was becoming very strong economically. America and Israel could not tolerate this.

And have you noticed the contrast in the way Qaddafi has been treated compared with both Mubarak and Ben Ali? Qaddafi was first chased in his own country then his convoy was attacked by Nato planes and American missiles, followed by his capture, humiliation and brutal murder. On the other hand, Ben Ali is living a luxurious life in Saudi Arabia while Hosni Mubarak is relaxing in a military hospital in Cairo.

Qaddafi paid a high price for being a friend of the Ummah and an
enemy of the infidels. They made a ‘horrible example’ of him, just as Henry Kissinger had warned many years ago.

Remember the recent incident where Egyptian protesters occupied the Israeli embassy in Cairo? If you ask me, I think this incident was engineered by Mossad to put pressure on the Egyptian authorities. The confused Egyptian government was then forced to put pressure on Hamas in Gaza to release the captured Israeli soldier, Gilad Shalit, in exchange for 1,000 Palestinians. Only a thousand!

Please look at the map to see what’s going on. America is aiming to capture all the holy places of Islam. Al Quds is already under Israeli occupation. Now, Mecca and Medina are being encircled from all directions.

Mission accomplished in Iraq, where they hanged a Muslim leader who was shaping up into a new Salahuddin Ayubi. They are now moving their troops to Afghanistan to use them to occupy Pakistan. North Waziristan and the Haqqanis are only an excuse. Actually, they are after Kahuta and Dr AQ Khan.

America always hated Khan because he gave Pakistan the bum, but now it hates him even more because he writes fine articles in newspapers telling young Pakistanis about the glorious history of Muslims. What AQ Khan is doing with his bum and his pen, another great Khan, Imran, is doing with his angry face and sharp tongue. The blame game — blaming someone else for your troubles — is perhaps as old as trouble itself.

Transposed on the international scene, it takes the form of the ‘foreign conspiracy theory’. It is a recent innovation, for international relations itself is a comparatively new discipline.

Published in The Express Tribune, November 17th,  2011.

Reader Comments (30)

  • abdul moiz
    Nov 16, 2011 - 10:43PM

    yes,we love to blame all our miseries,all our faults on the yahodis,the amreekis,the atheists.we have taken living in denial to the extreme,we never accept our faults,always lay the blame for all our self created problems at the feet of the gays,the non-muslims,the yahodi saazish.we think that just because we were born muslims that we are perfect and can do no wrong,all wrongs must have been committed by the atheists and the infidels.

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  • Sajid
    Nov 16, 2011 - 10:55PM

    The nation that is dumb enough to believe in such absurd conspiracy theories cannot be smart enough to understand the sarcasm in your article sir, I am afraid, a lot of people will take it literally.

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  • American Desi
    Nov 16, 2011 - 11:01PM

    100% correct! All Americans collectively conspired and elected Obama to confuse the innocent ‘Ummah’! Also Osama himself, after having to live with 3 wives within a small compound for 5 years, called the Navy SEALS.

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  • sharifL
    Nov 16, 2011 - 11:02PM

    So true, but the author has omitted another Pakistani obsession with conspiracy. Just look around. Burma is ruled by brutal Junta for the last few decades. Libya was ruled by another dictator Gaddafi, who called his opponents rats. Same about Iraq. And now Asaad killing unlimited number of Syrians to carry on his dictatorship.
    But Pakistan wants PPP removed, the party is up for elections anyway. Hate uncle sam, love the dictators at home and abroad, but how about letting a democratic government complete it term, however inefficient it might be?
    Talk to anybody and he will say I am anti Pakistan and unless this government is dismissed, Pakistan will breakdown.
    I think we hate democracy. Love lotas and dictators, the more brutal the better. We need a Khomeny or Saddam Hussain, they say. I am talking about people who live in democratic countries in the west. May be they should have a taste of these regimes if they start living there.

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  • Khalid Javed
    Nov 16, 2011 - 11:10PM

    Agree with the views expressed by Mr. Razi, Saddam, Qaddafi, Bashar alAssad- all may have had their own personal failings but the root-cause of their ouster from power and subsequent humiliation and tragic end in case of Saddam and Qaddafi was their anti-US & anti-Israel positioning. In the middle east, mission has almost been accomplished with Iraq subjugated, Egypt silenced by its so called revolution, Libya under their fold after inhuman killings of Qaddafi and all other gulf states already under the indirect or direct influence of US. Entire focus in the next decade is likely to shift to South Asia to control Iran & Pakistan to curtail their economic competitor i.e., China. They will keep playing their Make & Break a hero policy for their ulterior motives, tough times ahead for Musli Umma ahead. Road of prudence & peaceful co-existence with the neighbouring states including India, Afghanistan is required to combat this global grand game.

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  • ukmuslim
    Nov 16, 2011 - 11:20PM

    felt like i was reading agatha christie or ruth rendell. but at the end had a good laugh.

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  • Abdul Rehman Gilani
    Nov 16, 2011 - 11:24PM

    I disagree with the writers point of view. Mocking does not change the fact that oil has a significant role now in global politics. And by the way, does the writer consider the “weapons of mass destruction” story to be truth? Afterall, after bombing the country to oblivion, we are still waiting whether some “weapons” were actually found in Iraq!

    Of course, this is all a “conspiracy” to defame Uncle Sam and “Almighty America”.

    And yeah, hasnt America’s “War on Terror” cost the Pakistani economy a loss of more than $40 Billion? Would the writer stop being myopic and open his eyes to the reality of the fallout of this war?

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  • Maryam
    Nov 16, 2011 - 11:35PM

    Welcome to the land of Denialistan

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  • kemal
    Nov 16, 2011 - 11:50PM

    Yes we’ve self imploded as a society/civilization because of our own lethargy, ineptitude and rot but lets not prescribe to an equally absurd bipolar view that all of our problems are self-created.

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  • Ali Tanoli
    Nov 16, 2011 - 11:54PM

    Its feel like friday sermon in pakistan mosques hahahahahahah

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  • You Said It
    Nov 17, 2011 - 1:18AM

    Conspiracy theories are a form of respite for minds that cannot find any positive news or ideas in their environs. It is natural to externalize problems because accepting that the problem lies within is far too painful.

    The Arab states at least have oil to provide succour and a balm for their otherwise dismal achievements. In the case of Pakistan, there’s just the nuclear bums and a numerous army — so the conspiracy theories deflect the pain of the unrealized hopes and promises. With an absent state and a misguided establishment, the common man is left to deal with problems without a safety net. The failures are far too numerous and the problems too overwhelming to deal with for the common man. The US is an easy target because it is the only country that puts itself front and center in every crisis around the world. It’s kind of like urchins throwing stones… they don’t know any better and have nothing else to do.

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  • MarkH
    Nov 17, 2011 - 3:26AM

    @Abdul Rehman Gilani:
    $40 Billion of our own cash maybe.
    Yeah, look at how we’ve taken all that oil. Don’t be afraid to look up the facts. You can just call them liars and part of the conspiracies when they don’t add up to your theory, no harm done.

    Do you enjoy living in a constant haze for foolishness? I’d imagine so. I guess if you’re that gullible it doesn’t take much to make the world look exactly how you want it to. Seriously, you make your own country look like a joke when you post that crap with a “factually superior” tone. It’s embarrassing for most people to be wrong but they can usually save themselves from some of it by having a tone of it being an opinion. You making it sound like they’re the cold hard facts and know it all can’t be salvaged. You make yourself sound like one of the superior Pakistanis in-the-know, thus making it look like the intelligence level of the rest to be absolute zero by comparison. Don’t worry too much though, we know you’re just part of the world’s running joke crowd they use as examples to pick on Pakistan light heartedly and it’s not everyone.

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  • Proud Baloch
    Nov 17, 2011 - 5:06AM

    There is no fire without fuel. You could be equally stupid to believe in all of the “official” sources.
    My relatives in US government can testify to that. A lot of times, American government doesn’t disclose info to public due to fear of chaos .

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  • Abdul Rehman Gilani
    Nov 17, 2011 - 8:58AM

    @MarkH:

    I love that snobbish demeanour of liberals when they are vexed, you know, declaring themselves paragons of virtue and intellect, and all other people disagreeing with them as fools……. :D

    Dear, get over the myopic viewpoint, and get a smell of fresh air. Were there any “weapons” found in Iraq, or was this question being asked only to show its all a “conspiracy” against Almighty America and its ideologues had to defend Uncle Sam no matter what?

    And of course, lets not even discuss Guantanamo Bay, or Bagram jail, or the kill-teams in Afghanistan. These are all “conspiracies” which are out there forged and propagated by “enemies of freedom” to defame Uncle Sam, who is on a crusade to “free” the world from the clutches of “dictators and tyrants”……… :)

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  • Pradeep
    Nov 17, 2011 - 11:15AM

    What??? No blame on Indians, Hindus and RAW? We feel so neglected now.

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  • PoorPeace!
    Nov 17, 2011 - 11:17AM

    @Khalid Javed:

    You didn’t get the sarcasm hidden in the article, did you? You took it literally. Lol !!!

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  • Cynical
    Nov 17, 2011 - 1:29PM

    @Sajid

    I will go with you.This sarcasm will not sink in average Pakistani head.

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  • Ejaz Butt
    Nov 17, 2011 - 2:59PM

    @Abdul Rehman Gilani: I agree with your point of view. The writer is making mockery of different scenarios as conspiricies. He will be surprised if he reads a book called WEB OF DECEIT by Mark Curtis that statements by him are confirmed as authentic. His books contain proofs and documentary eveidence. The writer should also listen to lectures of David Ikes who with proof will prove the writer wrong. I understand that the US administration has dveoted $150 for Pakistani media to buy their sympathies. Does this article proves something else? Awake up and speak with a clear conscious and dare to say what is wrong, that is wrong.

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  • Ejaz Butt
    Nov 17, 2011 - 3:01PM

    @MarkH:
    Your cash, come on be sensible – you mean looted/robbed cash from African and Asian countries; grow up mate.

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  • observer
    Nov 17, 2011 - 4:36PM

    @Ejaz Butt

    I understand that the US administration has dveoted $150 for Pakistani media to buy their sympathies.

    All of 150 USD? What a princely sum. Pakistani media comes cheap, doesn’t it ?

    you mean looted/robbed cash from African and Asian countries; grow up mate.

    Some others have been raiding and robbing the hanood of India for centuries. Any chance of the Hanood getting some of it back any time soon?

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  • zalim singh
    Nov 17, 2011 - 4:47PM

    you mean RAW is innocent?

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  • pardeep
    Nov 17, 2011 - 4:56PM

    The confused Egyptian government was then forced to put pressure on Hamas in Gaza to release the captured Israeli soldier, Gilad Shalit, in exchange for 1,000 Palestinians. Only a thousand! This is classic.How precious are the Palestinians?

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  • Meekal Ahmed
    Nov 17, 2011 - 4:57PM

    I am not aware of the Iraqi oil-fields have been drained dry. They still have the third largest reserves in the world.

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  • Sajjad Khattak
    Nov 17, 2011 - 6:22PM

    If there is no conspiracy, why is the entire muslim world on fire and not EU or US. The hunger for oil, dollors and gold is real. Blood is cheaply spilled for political and financial gains.

    Pray that peace fall on earth soon. There is no winner here, everyone is a loser, the ones who think that all these problems are not theirs are mistaken. Sooner or later we all get affected. May Allah show the light to those who murder and plunder in the name of justice and do exactly the opposite.
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  • Ali Tanoli
    Nov 17, 2011 - 7:09PM

    @Razi Azmi
    We all know these things then why we are so Majboor.

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  • Nov 18, 2011 - 12:43AM

    While your satire is excellent, Mr Razi, I feel you’ve overdone it. It would be folly not to recognise America`s role in affairs in the middle east. Though it isn’t a conspiracy so much as a well-planned stratagem to ensure its own benefits. And of course, its not responsible for every little thing that goes wrong.

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  • You Said It
    Nov 18, 2011 - 1:16AM

    @Sajjad Khattak: If there is no conspiracy, why is the entire muslim world on fire and not EU or US.

    I can’t agree that the “entire muslim world” is on fire. Muslim nations such as Turkey, Malaysia, Indonesia, etc are at peace with the world and making rapid progress. The GCC states have huge wealth/investments. Nigeria has made a remarkable turnaround since 1999. Hopefully, Egypt/Tunisia and perhaps Libya will join the ranks in the next few years as well.

    You are generalizing Pakistan’s problems and assuming they apply to the “entire muslim world”. The muslim world is not homogeneous regardless of Pakistani tendency to look to the ummah to distance itself from its subcontinental history.

    Even if what you said were true, what does it say about the muslim world’s inherent cohesion & strength if it is unable to resist these juvenile conspiracies. 20% of the world population is in these countries with vast oil/gas wealth. Profits from energy resources go entirely to the respective nations. Look at the immense wealth of the gulf states. Why aren’t Saudi Arabia, Qatar, etc using these resources to put out the fires in the muslim world? Why hasn’t Pakistan’s huge/all-powerful army made the nation a world leader in science/technology and business/economy? Nobody keeps Pakistan from investing in its own people.

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  • andy fr dc
    Nov 18, 2011 - 1:43AM

    The author means to be amusing. However anyone who reads Pak papers will see the same ideas presented seriously everyday. Pakistan is a deeply disturbed society.

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  • Amjad
    Nov 18, 2011 - 5:53PM

    I don’t know whether you have been to the US lately but some people there also blame the poor US economy on other nations; there is always a subset in every country who blames all of their problems on others. Look at India which never hesitates to blame every little act of crime on neighbouring Pakistan. It’s easy for politicians to shift the blame.

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  • Abbas from the US
    Nov 18, 2011 - 9:42PM

    It seems the vast majority of Pakistanis including this writer live in La La land

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