10 things I hate about medical college

Published: October 2, 2011

The superiority complex. Everyone who gets into medical college thinks they’ve achieved the unachievable.

1.    The superiority complex. Everyone who gets into medical college thinks they’ve achieved the unachievable. They’ve gone where no man has gone before — except, of course, the tens of thousands who have done so before them.

2.    Continuously being told you’re “the cream”. Even those who realise that it’s not SUCH a big deal finally give in as the teachers brainwash them continuously with lines like: “You’re the cream of the nation.” Or “You beat ten (fifteen, twenty) thousand people to make it here.” Sure, it’s an achievement to get one of the 200 or so seats in your college, but don’t let it get to your head.

3.    The toppers. Toppers everywhere are annoying but wait till you meet these people. They will manipulate you, use you, look down on you, lie to you — whatever gets them “the marks”. They will ask questions long after class is over, but before the teacher leaves so that you can’t leave… but will do so without using the microphone, so you can’t hear. And yes, they will always, always make you feel like an idiot.

4.    The wannabes. They’ll act like they have no idea what’s being taught in college. They won’t take classes. They’ll pretend they don’t know the teachers. They’ll be present at every social event. And yet when the result comes out, they’ll be, drumroll please…right behind the toppers. Oh and brace yourself for the oh-so-astonished look when the result is announced.

5.    The bullies. They come in all shapes and sizes…and genders. They can be quiet, loud, openly mean or ever-so-innocent. Do not fall for the cute smiley ones. They’re the ones who’ll stab you in the back.

6.    The competition. So then how do you leave your competitors behind? Well, some seek the use of drugs — to help you stay up, sleep, relieve anxiety. Or you could fetch the post-grad books that require four people just to haul out. You know, the ones the rest of the class has no idea even exist. Or you could always hide a little something on your person during exams. Did you think doctors can’t cheat?

7.    The teachers. They will spend half the lecture boasting about themselves, the prestigious profession, and how they sat on the same benches as students, pulling off the same pranks. And when they realise they’ve wasted half the time, they’ll try to cram the one-hour lecture into 30 minutes.

8.    The teaching hospitals. My my, what lovely hospitals we have. To call the OPDs a fish market would be the understatement of the century. One thing I can’t deny is that our senses sure get sharpened. Our eyes have now been opened to shades of vomit unknown to man, not because we are being taught on the patient but because it happens to be lying on the floor. And we just stepped in it.

9.    The status-conscious freaks. I always thought people left their status at home when coming to college. But there are people that will make friends based on status, Sit next to you based on status. Cheat from you based on status.

10.   The stages. Every now and then (read 15-20 days) when the teachers get bored, they arrange a ‘small’ test which is conducted over 2-3 hours, depending on how annoyed they are at you, in an examination hall, under the supervision of examiners with proper question papers and booklets of answer sheets. Yup, you get the whole deal.

Published in The Express Tribune, Sunday Magazine, October 2nd,  2011.

Reader Comments (30)

  • Sayed Kamil Abbas Jafri
    Oct 2, 2011 - 2:16PM

    These are Exactly the Same 10 things I hate about the Doctors!

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  • Anum
    Oct 2, 2011 - 4:10PM

    Being a medical student myself, I agree with all the points, but its a wonder you missed the most important point which is the gruelling studies medical students have to undertake, the loads of information that they need to learn in the shortest possible time.

    Recommend

  • faraz
    Oct 2, 2011 - 4:35PM

    Most of the medical students see the reality only when they are made to work unpaid in hospitalsRecommend

  • Arslan
    Oct 2, 2011 - 5:00PM

    Thumbs up Overall a nice read and funny too.

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  • Oct 2, 2011 - 6:36PM

    OMG!! This is ridiculously true! :DRecommend

  • AN
    Oct 2, 2011 - 8:20PM

    `OMG my elder sister is doing MBBS and she is all lyk “im the greatest” she even gets more things than we non-medical people do !!!!!!!!!!!!! i mean What is thisss!!! Recommend

  • Umar
    Oct 2, 2011 - 8:33PM

    Girl u rock… good articles, keep it up

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  • Saher
    Oct 2, 2011 - 11:09PM

    So true!!! Specially the wanna bees and the toppers!!!
    Cant stand them!!!

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  • Kasim
    Oct 2, 2011 - 11:09PM

    Plethora of fallacies.

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  • Syed Sarmad Bukhari
    Oct 2, 2011 - 11:10PM

    I am reading and reading and reading and ……. wait…… this sounds familiar. Way too familiar…
    Got to the part about the stages.
    Who wrote this?
    Scrolled up.
    Everythingmakessensenow.jpg

    Good job by the way. I’ll add one more though;

    Reading a 1000 page book that doesn’t have that singular piece of defunct information your teacher read in a newspaper in 1926 and told you in class, which you conveniently forgot because there are more important things in life and on failing to regurgitate that in the viva end up with a bare pass. fml
    Recommend

  • Kasim
    Oct 2, 2011 - 11:14PM

    Plethora of fallacies!!

    Recommend

  • sadaf
    Oct 2, 2011 - 11:22PM

    so freakinggg true!!!!

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  • tayyaba khan
    Oct 3, 2011 - 12:00AM

    interesting n ofcourse true :)

    Recommend

  • Cheddar Man
    Oct 3, 2011 - 12:29PM

    In my opinion, medical college is a humbling experience. I used to boast about my genius IQ but once in med school, i found myself surrounded by genius people. About point three, that’s what we call struggle for existence. Stages and sub-stages were fun though but that’s just me!

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  • Dr. Bilawal Ahmed
    Oct 3, 2011 - 1:45PM

    So now Tribune publishing such articles , it’s just a mediocre blog , written by a disheartened student , don’t worry beta , study and work hard , u’ll achieve ur goals …

    Recommend

  • maria
    Oct 3, 2011 - 3:55PM

    it seems as if the writer attended the college only for the orientation day n then left……………..these r the things a person who havent been to a medical college will think happens there…………so naive…………p.s it is not what happens there…..do ur thing before writing abt something in future

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  • Syed Sarmad Bukhari
    Oct 3, 2011 - 6:22PM

    Dr. Bilalwal Ahmed is right, ‘beta’. Study and work hard. You’ll achieve your goals.
    P.S He is assuming you failed at medical school. Sometimes people don’t even know what they are reading.

    Recommend

  • Girl next door
    Oct 3, 2011 - 8:29PM

    Dr Bilawal Ahmed, I disagree with you, I think the writer of this blog is a genius who not only studied at a med uni but also observed her surroundings.

    Recommend

  • Syed Sarmad Bukhari
    Oct 3, 2011 - 9:17PM

    @Maria
    I am gonna go ahead and stop you right there. The writer has in fact attended Medical School. As a matter of fact for every day that I have attended it. But I should point out here that everyone has had different experiences here. The article is about the bad experiences. Did you expect an ending line like “But everything has ups and downs and I will try to enjoy my time here blaaaargh……..”. And the fact that you’re saying this isn’t what happens there means you’ve never been to Med School. Ever.

    Recommend

  • amara haroon
    Oct 3, 2011 - 9:17PM

    @Girl next door:
    you are absolutely right,writer of thisblog is a genious and she is observant too.good work tarbia,i am proud of you.

    Recommend

  • Vigilant
    Oct 3, 2011 - 9:33PM

    Please mention after becoming doctor
    1. Hate poor patients
    2. Running after money…Greed
    3. Spent time in reading Quran in office while patients are waiting outside
    4. Let amature/fresh graduates play with patient life while seniors sleep in their air conditioned offices
    5. Advice patients in OPD to visit their private clinics for complete treatment
    6. Earn money from medicine manufacturing companies by recommending their brands even if they are not effective.
    7. Leaving surgical items in patients body
    8. Performing night duty on bed while patients dying in wards
    & Many more

    Simple is that medical profession has lost it’s soul purpose in Pakistan….now it become earning machine & doctors has forget that their small mistake could take life.Recommend

  • amara haroon
    Oct 3, 2011 - 11:25PM

    girl next door,you are very right;writer of this blog is a genious and yeh observant too. good job tarbia.

    Recommend

  • Andaleeb
    Oct 4, 2011 - 9:57PM

    GOOD JOB GIRL !!! its like i just read my own thoughts !!! THUmbS uP tarbia B-)

    Recommend

  • Oct 5, 2011 - 6:54PM

    It is the fish market opd which teaches you so many aspects of life.this aspect you should not hate.The stages that take place are the revisions we badly need.The status is also some thing we never realized existed is also important aspect of we would have missed if we would not have gone medical college.
    I think these ten things you have written though beautifully mentioned are the very basics you went to medical college for.
    Now please write after you finish the medical education .

    Recommend

  • Haider
    Oct 7, 2011 - 6:00PM

    I study medicine in England, and few of the points you mentioned apply here as well!

    Recommend

  • Aizah
    Oct 8, 2011 - 4:51AM

    ok. So this is the respect doctors get? Excuse you. Every profession is these kinds of ppl. Every profession has every kind of ppl! This is jus so absurd! Seems like some1 wrote it out of jealousy! We study, work hard n get into a medical college. Work day n night to care for ppl.
    Every student who has agreed to this.. Should leave medicine if u hate it so much. No1z forcing u to stay!
    N DON’T GENERALIZE. jus cuz u had a crappy time doesn’t mean the 200 ppl around u did too! I hate this article. Utter rubbish. Personal frustration!Recommend

  • amara
    Oct 8, 2011 - 6:54PM

    aizah why are you taking it as a serious issue,she is not talking about medical profession cz everybody knows that medical profession is the most respectable of professions.it is just a humorous article,written by an observant person;who like other people observes her surrounding but has an additional ability to interpret it.

    Recommend

  • Oct 9, 2011 - 4:37AM

    Oops I guess you forgot something which is common in International Medical Universities,

    Point 11. Start looking for Adderall and Ritalin or Prozac just 2 weeks before exam and then go through the withdrawal after exams.

    I remember when I graduated I worked in Services, Lahore for (NO PAY) for 6 months as a H/O Surgery and then in Jinnah as H/O Medicine (18,000 PKR/Month) I’m just making a point to respond the people above like : Vigilant

    Enough with the backlash on doctors already, current H/O Pays are 24,000 PKR / Month how about I give you the damn 24,000 and then ask you to run a full home with sisters and aging mother and old father. People who talk crap about doctors in Pakistan should first investigate on the matter and then open your mouth. That’s why god has made things in proportion for you 2 ears to listen and 1 to speak follow that.

    You all out there who hate doctors [whatevs'] go and wake up in the damn night around 3 or 4 AM for an Emergency call and rush to the hospital with no concern of your home people, your wife, your kids whom you can’t sometime say goodbye to school or have breakfast with them, huh no you won’t because it’s people like us “WE THE DOCTORS” keep our comfort behind and rush for your care.

    I’m ashamed on everyone of you who thinks that we just don’t give a crap.

    Pakistan Zindabad

    Recommend

  • ghanva
    Oct 14, 2011 - 9:55AM

    Med students are worked to the bone, true that, but its not like they are the chosen ones. they just enrolled themselves into a medical university and that is about it. Its sick that people will give celebrity status to med students and not to laborers, and teachers at a Montessori, or even a housekeeper. A persons profession should’nt be the criteria for exalting them to high heaven heights , it should be about how sincerely they do whatever they do.

    Recommend

  • Emma
    Oct 24, 2011 - 3:20PM

    Hey Vigilant docs need sleep too you know. When you have to keep awake AND work for more than 24 hrs then you’ll be eager to take a quick nap too. It’s no crime. And look at the conditions in which have to work at night. There’s no proper room for them to keep their things for the night or to sleep for a while.

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