Wedding woes: An anti-wedding girl’s guide to getting married

Most woman wait their whole lives for a fairy tale wedding. For most of us, our wedding day is expected to be the happiest day of our lives. Perhaps that is why we begin to plan it from childhood. From elegant designer dresses to the beautiful flower arrangement that will adorn the stage —  we have thought of everything well before there is even any sign of the groom!

On the other end of the spectrum are the anti-wedding women who wish to keep things to a minimum. How they manage to not squeal at the very mention of their wedding is beyond us but hey —  they might be right in wanting to spend their savings elsewhere. Besides, every bride has the right to celebrate her wedding as she pleases. So if you are seeking a simplistic ceremony with none of the hullabaloo that Pakistani weddings generally entail, this guide is ideal for you. We offer you some ultimate, budget-cutting tips for classy yet relaxed wedding planning and the greatest non-wedding wedding ever!

Plan Ahead

First things first: get the money in order. Remember, it is ideal to make a spreadsheet listing all your finances. Just one day of a wedding can cost up to four years of college. Hence, planning how much needs to be spent on what can help sort arrangements right. Once you have an idea of your finances, get to work:

√•  For the love of food: Aside from immediate family members, you and your husband to be, there are very few others who truly care about your wedding. As horrid as it may sound, most of your guests are coming for the food. If you want them to head home happy and well-fed, begin searching for the best caterers in town. Be mindful that the best doesn’t always have to be expensive. If there is someone in your family who cooks pretty well and can make food to feed 100 guests, why not ask them for help instead?

√•  Easy on the flowers: Flowers are really tricky as they make for beautiful wedding decor but do die out soon after they have been pulled off. Not to mention, they are exorbitantly pricey so spending so much on something that does not last the night is never a great idea. For simple and chic décor, have some flowers put on the stage and on the centre of the tables.

√•  DIY invitations: Another unfortunate wedding reality is that invitation cards almost always end up in the trash the minute the ceremony is over. The smartest thing to do is to make them yourself. If you aren’t savvy with arts’n’crafts, how about you outsource them to local crafters and arts galleries? Besides, the typical white, golden or beige invitation cards have become so mainstream that it might be a good idea to surprise your guests with hand-made ones. The good thing is they cost a lot less too.

√•  Mama’s girl: If you wish to stray from the beaten track and yet, look like a princess bride, opt for your mother’s wedding dress. It will definitely need a bit of tweaking here and there but the alterations will cost you less than half the prices designers are charging these days.

√•  Ditch what you don’t like: In most big fat Pakistani weddings, the festivities start a month prior to the actual events. From dholkis, mehndis to bridal showers —  there seems to be no end to the madness. The good news is that all these are events that can easily be skipped if you do not like them. You can stay minimal with all the festivities by sticking to just the important ones, such as the baraat and valima. Invest your time and effort in planning these without having to think about the rest.

Most of all, remember that wedding planning is preparation for a party. Your marriage is what you’re really ought to be celebrating. The day will be perfect because you will be starting a new life and it will pass in a blur of elation that will still make you smile months later. In all the chaos and drama, take out some time to prepare your mind, as well. No matter what goes wrong during planning, remember that what means the most is to enjoy yourself and the person you are going to spend the rest of your life with.

Did You Know? 

People may advise you to hire a wedding planner but we feel that this is unnecessary. According to Sharyn Bires, a former publisher of San Francisco Brides, a wedding planner is a needless luxury as anyone with common sense and basic knowledge of Microsoft Excel can manage an RSVP list and read a vendor contract. On the other hand, since weddings are a series of photo shoots and styling decisions, it would be smarter to opt for a stylist to make you look good. It will not only be a major stress buster but will also ensure that you have a visually appealing and impressive wedding.

Nisma Chauhan is a subeditor at The Express Tribune’s magazine desk. She tweets @ChauhanNisma

Published in The Express Tribune, Ms T, August 23^rd, 2015.