Finish it

Drop the pretense that you cared for democracy. Make Pakistan constitutional dictatorship, oligarchy & rule it forever

This is that time of the year already. You ask for the moon and end up in a heap of garbage. You ask for democracy and you get Qadri. Why on earth did you ask for such a big thing at all? I know why I did. My entire life has been spent in a country that is threatened by its own mediocrities. The mediocrities that exist because the lame mediocre ones never had a say in it. Only extraordinary geniuses can spot true gold. And time and again, ours did.

The geniuses of what passes for political industry spotted Zulfikar Ali Bhutto. He was brilliant. He was thoroughbred, hyperactive and too smart for his own good. But when a similar time came as today, the gold turned to dust. Zulfi Bhutto had to be hanged. And his three politically active kids also had to succumb to unnatural deaths.

Then the geniuses spotted Nawaz Sharif. He was a safe bet. Not exactly cut out for Mensa membership, but he was loyal, financially smart and a Punjabi to boot. Whenever he came to power, there was hope that this country will achieve something. The unruly bureaucracy cooperated and so did the army. He brought big toys for the boys. The country now had the nukes. Then, he even brought the aging AB Vajpayee to visit the tower of nationhood that miraculously still stands the temptation to lean, nay, bow down. But he too was chucked out. But you know how politicians are. They simply refuse to die.

Today, he is back in power, much to the chagrin of the geniuses, and like their nightmares, he won’t even go away. They want change. They have spotted gold again. Imran Khan and Tahirul Qadri are the new rescuers. Imran Khan who can’t speak and Qadri who won’t zip up. Ideal match. Make one president, the other prime minister. Better still. Abolish the presidency. Create two prime ministerial slots. Both will be happy. What will happen next? Who cares? That’s the extent of their imaginations and that in true sense is how we ended up here in the first place.

But why, oh why, did I ask for democracy? Perhaps, because I felt that if we are allowed to vote governments out after each term, we will have enough ownership of the entire project that we get motivated to pay our bills on time, taxes too, stop plundering and develop some respect for merit. That thought that our children born during the recent dictatorship will one day be proud citizens of a democracy, where their opinions and talents amounted to something. But alas, the fickle-minded geniuses would have none of it. When ego is called intellect, when selfishness is called dedication, our geniuses are kings and kingmakers.

But who are these geniuses? Are they in khaki or in mufti? I tell you, they are not in khaki. Our valiant soldiers are fighting the rough fight. Qadri kept calling them but they didn’t come. But who then? They are the haves who tell the have-nots that they want to bring a coup against have-a-littles. It is like the plumbing of your house screaming out to tell you that in your house, you don’t need plumbing.

I also owe you an apology, dear readers. Remember how I told you that what we have as a nation was not an ideology but a national dream. Well, that is undoable. How can a nation dream collectively when there is an embargo on individual dreams? Once I spoke of virtues of media freedom. They simply made a mockery of it, so much so, that I cannot switch on the idiot box without feeling like an utter and complete idiot. They are about to do just the same to democracy. Our geniuses want to collect all the gold they think they have struck and turn it into dust. But why bother? You can have it all. Just drop the pretense that you ever cared for democracy. Make the country a constitutional dictatorship or oligarchy and rule it forever. You know it never was about individuals or transparency. It was always about egos. So, why don’t you, in the last golden words of Zulfikar Ali Bhutto, “finish it”?

Published in The Express Tribune, June 28^th, 2014.

Like Opinion & Editorial on Facebook, follow @ETOpEd on Twitter to receive all updates on all our daily pieces.