China's emerging 'two-child generation' faces parenting challenges

BEIJING: With the one-child per family restriction having recently been relaxed, a new generation of two-child families is emerging in the Chinese society, Xinhua reported on Wednesday.

In China, parents are struggling to readjusting single children to life with a sibling.

The new parenting challenge is being placed in the spotlight ahead of International Children's Day on Sunday.

After Wang Qian gave birth to her baby girl, her two-year-old son visited her in hospital. Wang passed a present to the boy, telling him, "This is a gift from your little sister."

As a former employee of an educational NGO, Wang has been tactfully preparing her son to accept and love his sister since day one of her pregnancy.

Mei Qixia, a mental health therapist with the Children's Hospital of Chongqing Medical University, says Chinese parents face particular difficulties because the societal norm has come to be that the first child is the only child. Accordingly, they have always got 100% of their parents' love and attention.

Until recently, China's family planning policy was introduced in the late 1970s to rein in the surging population by limiting most urban couples to one child.

In 2011, the restriction was relaxed when couples in which both members were a single child, were allowed to give birth a second time.

The policy was further eased in November last year, when couples were permitted to have a second child only if one of them was an only child.

To Mei Qixia's relief, young Chinese parents are gaining greater awareness of what it takes to raise two children.

Wang Qian is being regarded as an exemplary example as she and fellow mothers with two babies have set up an online messaging service called ‘WeChat’, where they get together and discuss raising their children.

To adapt her son to having a sibling, Wang bought a variety of illustrated books narrating stories involving brothers and sisters.

"I want him to understand that having siblings is a happy thing," she said.

Now, she continues to teach him that he is loved by his toddler sister, using the mantra "Look, you always put a big smile on your sister's face."

"We want him to feel proud of being a big brother," Wang explained.

Reportedly, her son does feel that way, often asking people "Isn't my sister cute?'"

Cao Ruina, a freelance translator in Beijing, gave birth to a baby girl when her first-born son was seven.

She said that her seven-year-old son occasionally feels “less adored”.

However, Cao says each time he complains about getting less attention, she tells him that his sister is too young to take care of herself whereas he is much more capable.

To her gratification, the two kids generally get along well.

Dai Ling, a mother in Chongqing who had a second baby days ago, now tends to be more forgiving to her elder son.

"We hope he will not feel neglected or get the impression that his parents' love for him has changed," she says.

It is because of such successes that Mei Qixia is confident that a new "two-child generation" will grow to be more caring and have better camaraderie than its predecessors.