Brasstricks

Published: April 14, 2010
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Fasi Zaka is a columnist, and TV and radio anchor.

Fasi Zaka is a columnist, and TV and radio anchor.

KARACHI: A student member of Brasstricks is writing to his friends on the net about the failed Pakistan Resolution on March 23 by Syed Samad Bond in Lahore at Al Hamra.

Dear friends in fashionable revolution,

Our army of mummy daddies made a massive show of strength today at al Hamra with the new Pakistan Resolution that shall Inshallah make Syed Samad Bond founder of Brasstricks-i-Hind quarters. All 37 of us there shall be remembered forever. We proudly announced we are the new-cons against the neo-cons.

Tragically, 99,951 of our members could not make it. The ‘Maria B complex’ was also seen in China promoting Islamic sleeveless at the time, a very important front in our geo-political-regional nexus against Jewish and Indian designs. God willing, our naked ambitions for total dominance will be achieved. Ali Dazmat could also not attend because he was fighting a jihad on Facebook, risking his life in a crucial game of Mafia Wars against the global Zionist media.

It is said he will go on one to one against neo-con Paul Phoenix in a game of Tekken on Xbox as Momin Marshall Law next. Our fearless leader made the correct decision to abandon the event because he greatly feared the ulema who had gathered outside against him. They claim he follows a false prophet, but we know that is not true, he only follows personal profit.

We were prepared for any contingency; most of us were wearing Ray Bans and LUMS t-shirts. The smellies from government universities were kept in the background, they make photos look bad. We all gathered on stage like FBI bodyguards with bandanas because we knew someone may try to assassinate our glorious leader, even though there was no audience and all the seats empty, but you know RAW and Mossad are invisible forces.

Luckily there was electricity at the venue and no loadshedding, so it is now confirmed that Wapda is not a Zionist organization. But the samosawalla is a paleed Jewish agent because he only had the aloo variety and no pyaz ka pakora. Inshallah, our new TV programme will begin, we are about to finalise as soon as auditions for a hot chick to ask questions from Syed Samad Bond are finished.

As you know, Syed Samad has knowledge of everything and will explain how he guided Sir Syed Ahmed Khan in Islam, gave speeches that started the revolt of 1857 and how he single-handedly brought down Israeli planes attacking Pakistan with a nine mm pistol. Thanks to Allah we were not born Yahoo-dis. We became what we are due to a fearless leader. Please do not try to contact him this month, he is in hiding, you know how angry mullahs are. We hate these fassadi mullahs for trying to expose our facades.

Your friend,

Jimmy ‘I do the shimmy’ Akhtar

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Reader Comments (120)

  • SAK82
    Apr 14, 2010 - 1:51PM

    You know things are really bad when the only way to put things into perspective is satire.
    nice one!Recommend

  • Apr 14, 2010 - 3:05PM

    Awesome satireRecommend

  • Naveed
    Apr 14, 2010 - 3:12PM

    Good one! Keep them coming…..Recommend

  • Apr 14, 2010 - 3:38PM

    WOW!Recommend

  • Asif Bajwa
    Apr 14, 2010 - 3:39PM

    This kills!Recommend

  • Apr 14, 2010 - 3:41PM

    Beautifully put. “..samosawalla is a paleed Jewish agent…”. LOL.Recommend

  • Adeel Asad.
    Apr 14, 2010 - 3:44PM

    Good one!! Recommend

  • Apr 14, 2010 - 3:57PM

    Awesome…Recommend

  • Mehwish S.
    Apr 14, 2010 - 4:22PM

    NFP has been parodying Zaid Hamid for a long time. And now it’s Zaka’s turn. Good satire.Recommend

  • Amer
    Apr 14, 2010 - 4:28PM

    superb satire! loved it Syed Samad Bond…lolzRecommend

  • S.A.R.A
    Apr 14, 2010 - 4:35PM

    Iss ko kehtay hai “Sookhi sookhi layna” Well done!Recommend

  • Baqar Raza
    Apr 14, 2010 - 4:38PM

    I wish EXPRESS best of Luck for the Launch’s of English Newspaper like “TRIBUNE”, I hope that it would be a voice of nation and a guardian as it’s been established by the name.

    I would like to write an article in it, which will be just a little knowledge and information to share with the people of our hometown.

    Lastly, I just do pray that it would speak as Truth as its Media(Electronic) going on.Recommend

  • Syed Ali Mushaf
    Apr 14, 2010 - 4:39PM

    Beauty…[email protected] hot chick and Syed Samad Bond…(Y)

    Recommend

  • Apr 14, 2010 - 4:53PM

    syed samad bond,hahahahaRecommend

  • KillBot
    Apr 14, 2010 - 4:58PM

    While piercingly funny, whats sad is this is probably truer than fiction.Recommend

  • Muhammad Tahir Fayyaz
    Apr 14, 2010 - 5:05PM

    Mr. ZAKA at his best…Recommend

  • Mahmood Faridi
    Apr 14, 2010 - 5:09PM

    Hats off and agree with KillBotRecommend

  • Haris
    Apr 14, 2010 - 5:10PM

    Very well said!!! i’ll wait for the hot chick though!Recommend

  • sana
    Apr 14, 2010 - 5:13PM

    Nice one!Recommend

  • Ahsen
    Apr 14, 2010 - 5:31PM

    Aaalaaa…Recommend

  • Apr 14, 2010 - 5:42PM

    This was pure elitness in the face of the anti-zionist movement of mr red topi :DRecommend

  • Uzair Javed
    Apr 14, 2010 - 5:48PM

    It was a good read. NFP, however, does it better! Also, the ideas seemed borrowed after having followed all of NFP’s writings!Recommend

  • deeba
    Apr 14, 2010 - 6:06PM

    Funny !
    I wonder what Z H would say after reading this . . . lol ;) Recommend

  • Apr 14, 2010 - 6:07PM

    I know its just satire but i cant resist the temptation of clearing out the fact that there is very little support for Zaid Hamid at LUMS…people tend to forget that the liberal arts curriculum there is quite revisionist and non-statist in nature.Recommend

  • Saleem Jan
    Apr 14, 2010 - 6:10PM

    Zaid Hamid is going to put the cross hairs on Fasi Zaka next…if he can shake the religious nuts after him.Recommend

  • Umair Shahid
    Apr 14, 2010 - 6:24PM

    nice one… excellent satireRecommend

  • Saim Baig
    Apr 14, 2010 - 6:46PM

    Very Nice.Recommend

  • Roda
    Apr 14, 2010 - 6:55PM

    Dear ZAKA ,We were missing you .
    Kindly bring NFP In ET too.
    best of luck.
    @ ET :The price of such a great news paper should not less then Rs 100/- in week days.Recommend

  • Apr 14, 2010 - 7:08PM

    ENCHANTING! Now lets see what Syed Samad Bond and Ali Dazmat has to say :) (Note: The names are classy)Recommend

  • Salman
    Apr 14, 2010 - 7:12PM

    how come all the comments are the ones that say good things. Recommend

  • Shah-Rukh
    Apr 14, 2010 - 7:48PM

    @Salman, you want to see negative comments?

    Just go to the end of Omar Bilal Akhter’s column, its madness & venom! http://tribune.com.pk/story/5928/remember-when-apple-blackberry-were-fruit/Recommend

  • sara
    Apr 14, 2010 - 7:58PM

    NonsenseRecommend

  • Adeel Khan
    Apr 14, 2010 - 8:47PM

    dont we have new people to write for tribune? means i have no problem with Fasi Zaka but i think we should give chance to new writers rather then having the same people on every second channel and newspaper.Recommend

  • khush
    Apr 14, 2010 - 9:08PM

    nice satire…but whats with LUMS….Unfortunately its a huge generalizationRecommend

  • Gulfam Rashid
    Apr 14, 2010 - 9:39PM

    I guess the LUMS thing is a comment on multiple events and invites for Zaid there. If its not the LUMS Zaidistas its the privelidged Communistas in luxury revolutionary rhetoric among some groups in the university.Recommend

  • Apr 14, 2010 - 10:02PM

    Haha.. Brilliant Satire, indeed. Pretty much inspired from NFP but very good effort.Recommend

  • Gulfam Rashid
    Apr 14, 2010 - 10:26PM

    Although, I must say his radio show is way funnier. These articles just dont capture the spontaniety and honesty of the airwave humour.Recommend

  • Rehan Ali
    Apr 14, 2010 - 10:31PM

    Excellent satire, I just wish it were fictional instead of factual. Recommend

  • Apr 14, 2010 - 10:33PM

    Aala!
    Fasih Bhai you n Mr. Nadeem Paracha Sure got a thing with words!!!
    n I’m Wondering why Ahmed Qureshi is not mentioned here?
    =DRecommend

  • Apr 14, 2010 - 11:02PM

    Zaid Hamid is becoming a history now. Good one Fasi, but I hope you won’t write on ZH obsessively and frequently like NFP does, that he keeps himself hanging with the tail of ZH days and nights. This is boring many a times.Recommend

  • waqar
    Apr 14, 2010 - 11:48PM

    Stupid thinking. You like zaid hamid or not its your choice but the idea of takmeel pakistan is right.Recommend

  • Shahid Khan
    Apr 14, 2010 - 11:51PM

    Nice one – I liked all the names you’ve used particularly Syed Samad Bond… he’s really a Samad Bond rather Elfy :-D
    But here I want to make a point! I think it’s enough now on him. He doesn’t deserve more time and energy of people like Fasi and NFP. You guys should move on to something else now! NFP has already shifted from him though.Recommend

  • Sarah Rehman
    Apr 15, 2010 - 2:02AM

    This reads like a bad imitation of all NFP articles printed to date.You need to stop regurgitating the same stuff Fasi.We’ve read enough Zaid Hamid,Maria B & Ali Azmat bashing from you,please find something new. Plus,all the sarcasm relating to ‘Zionists, Mossad, RAW, Jews,India & Hindus’ has become OLD & BORING now.No serious & sensible writer,journalist,common people & our youth uses this language or accuse all of them for our problems.This is the kind of language that was used in the 80s.We’ve let this go so please STOP BORING US!Recommend

  • Iram Shafi
    Apr 15, 2010 - 2:27AM

    Cool one :)Recommend

  • Shiksa
    Apr 15, 2010 - 2:53AM

    As far as I know Fasi Zaka has only written his Hate Speech series of articles (3), all serious, on Zaid Hamid. Maybe you are lumping all the “sins” of those against your “leader” on one writer. And its not language used in the 80s, but everyday TV in Pakistan.Recommend

  • Saliha Rajput
    Apr 15, 2010 - 2:56AM

    @Sarah: The new tactic “Stop obsessing over Zaid Hamid”.
    Translation: Give Zaid breathing room, its taking a toll on our Kahlifa!Recommend

  • Zaid Bin Saleem
    Apr 15, 2010 - 7:47AM

    love it :-PRecommend

  • Arif
    Apr 15, 2010 - 8:09AM

    Good Work , keep going till the end of ZH and keep it up Recommend

  • asad mirza
    Apr 15, 2010 - 8:37AM

    if u got enough potential to wake up the nation then do that job buddy..!
    y r u blaming others…!
    its like u don’t ve nethig 2 do……..but yes…. destructive criticism is left……
    u can do that………n u r doing….
    what is the main conclusion of zaid hamid speechs…..
    simple : rises our potential… v gain hope that v can fight 2 our problems …..
    n u know sometimes exagration are alowed for such positive purposes….
    when if u r to give hope to others who r desparate against their enemies.
    but again if u r the PERFECT Man …. then show us your potential and do some thing constuctive rather than such destructive things….or else ur such destructive things would have no affect… inshaALLAHRecommend

  • Mehmood Zafar
    Apr 15, 2010 - 10:29AM

    Fasi ur doing a great Jehad to write about this evil man (the khalifa of Maluoon Yousaf Kazab).

    Lets protect our youth from evil desires of Yuhad & Nasara.
    http://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/ZaidHamidExposition?v=wall

    May Allah protect you always and award u janat ameen.

    Great workRecommend

  • zaigham
    Apr 15, 2010 - 10:48AM

    in the land of yusufi,
    this is what satire has come to…
    shallow and pathetic…

    somebody said “ZAKA at his best”
    if thats the best i can’t imagine
    what he writes when he is not at his best…Recommend

  • Suraiha
    Apr 15, 2010 - 10:56AM

    NFP’s satarical articles on Zaid turned Zaid and his chamchas into pulp. Now Zaka has moved in to finish the job. This was hilarious. And why should critics of Zaid stop? Ask that crank to stop first.Recommend

  • Bilal A
    Apr 15, 2010 - 11:09AM

    So right Zaigham. Losers like FZ and NFP (The brand) can only play with words, naming people in sarcasm and can’t do anything practically. Find me one (only one) line in over 400 hours of recordings by ZH that goes against Shari’a. Anyways, FZ would not be able to answer this cos he has nothing to do with sharia.
    Moreover, if one can go such overboard exaggerating in sarcasm why ZH is blamed for his enthusiasm. Allah be with this nation.Recommend

  • Jawad K
    Apr 15, 2010 - 11:48AM

    This was absolutely brilliant!Recommend

  • Nuzhat
    Apr 15, 2010 - 11:50AM

    Errm … exactly how much do YOU have to do with shariah, Bilal? Apart from whining about Zaka and NFP.

    Zaid’s gone, brother. Stop being so touchy about a man who’s done nothing but spread hatered. Is that your version of shariah?Recommend

  • irfan
    Apr 15, 2010 - 12:01PM

    Amazing satire….I hope our youth could have used their talent for some constructive purposes…
    Really felt very bad seeing the educated youth playing the malign-game….Recommend

  • shafi_raza
    Apr 15, 2010 - 12:04PM

    Another parrot, whose only job is to criticize others. Did you ever looked yourself in a mirror.
    Good job, Looks like you had made good amount of money with this one.Recommend

  • nini
    Apr 15, 2010 - 1:12PM

    shame on u all…… who are saying its good, wonderful, and phlaw phlaw…… whenever a person took any stand and voice for the pakistan, ppl like you criticized him, and the word use for Zaid sahb as “samad bond” really the good one, you know y? b/c yes he is the person who attract all of them who have eyes, heart and MIND…. hope all got it. Recommend

  • nini
    Apr 15, 2010 - 1:13PM

    agree with shafi…..Recommend

  • Jimmi Shararti
    Apr 15, 2010 - 1:22PM

    Well..that was different..hoping for a +ve response 4m Syed Samad bond n Ali Dazmat..Recommend

  • Nuzhat
    Apr 15, 2010 - 1:58PM

    Hey, nini, did i mention this article was good, wonderful, and phlaw phlaw …?

    And please unstick urself from samad bond. He’s sticky.Recommend

  • shahzad
    Apr 15, 2010 - 2:58PM

    Well said by our Edwardian Bro…..Recommend

  • Apr 15, 2010 - 3:02PM

    @zaigham:- True to the core bro.
    This was the most pathetic and most boring satire (if you call it satire) I have ever read. Zaid Hamid and his Brasstacks is (was) such a wonderful topic to write satire on. Neither NFP nor Zaka are writing anything good. I wish Ibn-e-Insha agar aaj hotay toh how would he have written on ZH.Recommend

  • Farhan
    Apr 15, 2010 - 3:09PM

    Was this supposed to be funny? I don’t really care about Zaid Hamid but these guys are beginning to sound like broken records.Recommend

  • Apr 15, 2010 - 4:23PM

    Dear Writer,

    There is no doubt in my mind that you are our contemporary Alexander Pope i.e. we do not deny your talent. However, the satire seems too personal, below the belt, and well, ill informed. I am not a part of the organization that you joke about but I did go there on the 23rd on the instigation ogf one of my clients who happens to be anti-“Bond”.

    The children there were many in number and even though the program was abandoned you should have seen the spark in the eyes of the lot, howsoever “burger” they might be. I wanted to feel the love for our country just like the way I saw in their eyes. I wonder what people would have felt at the time of the real resolution.

    The fact that I went there while I was on a business week to lahore and you consider him important enough to actually use your sharp wit to write as much as you did, reflects the influence the gentleman has.

    So as much as I like the way your work was done child, on a note for pakistan, maybe you should reconsider your views.

    I do not want to sound bitter about our youth in general but we have become slightly cowardly. For instance, would you dare about writing such a piece about the champions of our nation who are currently against Mr. “bond”?

    But bravo to craftsmanship! I hope we see more of you child!Recommend

  • Samad Bond Jr.
    Apr 15, 2010 - 4:33PM

    Brilliant stuff, Zaka. Loved the way you tore into this monster that the rightwing media has created. Of course, NFP’s influence is there, but NFP has been influencing many writers for long.

    And those who want Zaka to stop are those who would like to remain in the fantasy that they have created through Syed Samad Bond’s rants. Wake up!Recommend

  • Salman
    Apr 15, 2010 - 6:38PM

    @Moiz. I am surprised by how many people from Brasstracks are trying to hide their associations here.

    Fasi wrote an article today about the people accusing Zaid, taking them to task http://www.thenews.com.pk/daily_detail.asp?id=234316

    Its your Zaid Hamid who is a coward and hiding from the Mullahs. Taking pictures in combat fatigues doesnt make one a commanda, nor does takes pictures in madina make one a muslimRecommend

  • LPJ
    Apr 16, 2010 - 12:32AM

    Where did the originality from reporting go?
    It’s like everybody’s doing the same thing, especially these two “culture critics”. If you don’t like the status quo, give alternatives please because your humour doesn’t impress those who are actually worried about Pakistan. Recommend

  • Paul King
    Apr 16, 2010 - 1:22AM

    Bravo Zaka! I see the Zaidonite dimwits are on this page too! You cracked a joint, and i mean literally, for zaid that is! Now his state of de ja vu will finally hit reality and his false demagogues will go with him straight to hell!Recommend

  • Taimur
    Apr 16, 2010 - 5:40AM

    Hahahaha… man this is hilarious but on the other hand, a true face of Zaid Hamid Moo Ke Fire (MKF) fans…

    Good work!Recommend

  • Mansoor Khalid
    Apr 16, 2010 - 9:45AM

    There is very little support left for Mr. ZH in Pakistan and for any radical element in Pakistan now. It is refreshing to see that profound and learned people are picking up their pens to write about it in their own ways.Recommend

  • Hz
    Apr 16, 2010 - 10:20AM

    Fasi Bhai you are always on the Fringe … bravORecommend

  • nini
    Apr 16, 2010 - 10:48AM

    @nuzat…. dear mainy just aap ko nai kahan tha….:-) so be chill,,,, n dnt worry….. go back n read again my comment…:-)Recommend

  • Apr 16, 2010 - 12:44PM

    hahahaha Awesome Fasi xD aik dum xaberadasht and ali azmat bz against zionist on mafia wars *__- ahahaha xD!!!
    lol i dont know why mr firstly known as zaid zaman hamid and then zaid hamid and then zaid hamid khan and now a days was known as syed zaid hamid changed his name so many times how a khan can be syed :SRecommend

  • Sadia Hussain
    Apr 16, 2010 - 1:58PM

    Excellent Satire By fasi! The Taliban apologists have fallen and they may never rise again. The propaganda is now being waged to gain sympathy but the enlightened citizens have stepped up to refute the disinformation with logic and reasons.Recommend

  • Siddiq Raza
    Apr 16, 2010 - 3:59PM

    Kia is ki topi waqee may LAAL hay ?Recommend

  • ali hamdani
    Apr 16, 2010 - 4:08PM

    It about every1 like zaid hamid who give hype to hate speech. The recent time we must promote a tolerant society and moderate views. Our country will never get anywhere criticizing and spreading hate amongst all. It is better that we untie as one and fight against the terrorist. M glad his event was a failure and what a satire!Recommend

  • Kamran
    Apr 16, 2010 - 9:57PM

    It’s really sad reading all the accolades that are flowing through for the writer. It pains my heart to see how my fellow countrymen have been led astray by this false notion of freedom of speech and how damaging it is for our national psyche. It opens to criticism, anything that is even remotely positive for the country, which in Zaid Hamid’s case is quite obvious. What is the man’s crime? Why is the liberal/secular/democratic class after his life? The man has single handedly managed to bring about a revival among the youth of this country to realise their full potential. Is that a crime? If you do not like the way he portrays history, then debate on that, why make fun of him and ridicule him? Are u feeling threatened by him? It seems so, otherwise the liberal, elite English speaking class, which I may politely add has literally eaten this country, would not feel so threatened by him.

    The problem is that Zaid Hamid hits at the root of whatever this country has become. How the rich exploit the poor, and how ignorant and heartless the elite has become in remorselessly trying to eke out every single penny they can conjure from this country and then leave the place once things become too bad here to live. This country has been devoured by this same Liberal/Secularist/Democratic/English speaking class. People who have had the best education are also the ones who have done most of the looting. That is where Zaid Hamid hits and that is where it hurts them.
    People who’re listening, who can reason, who love this country please realise that by criticising Zaid Hamid the person, we’re killing off any hope there is to save this country. There’s going to be no one after him to raise our hopes, to give us vision if we treat him like this today. The NWFP/Hazara issue is just a precursor of the things to come, things which Zaid Hamid warned us against. They’re all happening. Don’t fall for the trap. Unite and forge ranks rather than showering accolades on Mr. Nobody’s of our generation.

    On an even more somber note, I suspect if our dear Quaid Jinnah was to be born in this age, we’d shun him much the same way by deriding him as a Kafir and ISI/military agent. Since when did my fellow countrymen (most of them muslims) forget that religion was a matter between God and His creation?Recommend

  • Umayr Masud
    Apr 16, 2010 - 11:41PM

    All you zaid hamid supporters … here is some food for thought .. he was the mouth piece used against the TTP .. he talked the tongue of the army, the things the conservatives understand. Doing that he was also the biggest support of the afghan taliban and how heroic those people were to fight the evil russians. As unfortunate as it may be , when we captured one of the top taliban leader last month in karachi it showed a definite shift in our plans, immediately after that the yusuf kazab thing came up, by islamist parties (guess who supports them too). So my dear friends the time for mr. hamid is over. Recommend

  • RNJ
    Apr 17, 2010 - 1:19AM

    Bas, ab yeh confirm hai, keh Fasi sahab is a confirm CIA asset.

    I have personally met and interviewed Zaid Hamid before. I went to see him knowing nothing about the man’s views, or his TV shows. This was before the days of his rampant TV popularity. I was shocked, hurt almost, that I had gone to this man’s office in search of actual knowledge. He is as mad in person as he appears on screen.

    I am waiting for the drama serial to start. There’s a script in all this satire somewhere, I swear it! It’ll have better ratings than the real thing!Recommend

  • RNJ
    Apr 17, 2010 - 1:26AM

    To Mr. Kamran:

    The freedom of speech you so carelessly criticise, is the exact same benefit you are exercising above in your comments. You should be thankful you have that right. If it were as you wish it, you wouldn’t be allowed to waste your time online writing replies that waste our time.

    Your views and those of your ‘saviour’, Zaid Hamid, are antithetical to those of Muhammad Ali Jinnah’s. And God forbid you compare the Quaid to that warmongering, ‘viva la revolucion‘ bigot, Zaid. Recommend

  • Apr 17, 2010 - 3:23AM

    WISE MEN ARGUE CAUSES : FOOLS DECIDE THEM

    this is Quotation for Zahid hamid Folowers .becuse they are going against the Prophet Muhammad SAW
    May ALLAH show them right pathRecommend

  • Apr 17, 2010 - 3:26AM

    Great Wrriting Fasi Bro
    Keep on wrriting

    ThanksRecommend

  • Kunza
    Apr 17, 2010 - 12:27PM

    This was just too good!! way to go!! =DRecommend

  • Kamran
    Apr 17, 2010 - 1:45PM

    Great work guys! RJN specially. When I hear people like you talking, I somehow agree with the saying that rulers of a country are the exact mirror image of the people. My ‘saviour’, in RJN’s word taught me otherwise. He told me us Pakistanis are the most finest people on the face of this earth andd the rulers are just an abberation. God bless you people. You guys deserve Mr. 10% and co.Recommend

  • M Akber
    Apr 17, 2010 - 1:56PM

    you must be an “enlightened moderate”… your reply might include references to the 11 August speech by Quaid… we are sick of this kind of satire, although only in the english media, it is still boring!!!

    what do you suggest were the teachings of the architects of Pakistan.

    So what if people laugh at ZH, they do… first they ignore you then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win… going there !!!Recommend

  • Stupefied
    Apr 17, 2010 - 7:36PM

    Nice one.

    Ali Dazmat ? I thought he used to be Ali Dunce-mat !Recommend

  • Arif
    Apr 18, 2010 - 1:57AM

    FZ has shattered our dreams by making fun of our new imam who was supposed to fly our green flag over red fort after much discussed ghazva-e-hind. As it is said by our imam, all these anchors and columnists are CIA agents and on mossad payroll. Whatever these fasadi journalists and mullahs say we will continue our work and one day after coming to power, we will make every one of them to bow before our great imam.Recommend

  • Mobeen Zahid
    Apr 18, 2010 - 6:28AM

    While I appreciate the satirical content used in the article, I still don’t think this is a very wise move from Fasi. There’s simply no gain in bringing drawing-room talk onto a newspaper article and there’s no point. Even if what you say is correct in its essence it still degrades your own status and thats pretty pointless in my opinion. A very useless article even though I doubt Fasi would be bothered too much about what any of us has to say! Might be true might not be (the background for all this) but its pretty pointless at the end of the day.Recommend

  • Sameer
    Apr 18, 2010 - 9:28AM

    Good one. But how come people are giving more ratings to NFP? NFP was never able to put an “entertaining” satire in his columns. It was much better than NFP.Recommend

  • Saad Siddiqui
    Apr 18, 2010 - 3:23PM

    ohhoho …!!! Dun make Fun of Zion-Hamid , everyone is a Zionist only ZH is true Muslim, rest Muslims are Maria B.( Maria Bravo) running a Pak-Muslim Fashion Industry , Ali Dhuzmat (he kills zionists with his Shining Head), and all the Mummy Daddy (Read Burgers) who just passed their teenage ….rest are “fasadis” as claimed by Imam-e-Zamana.Sir.Dr.Hakeem.Zion Zaman Hamid. , all other people are CIA ,MOUSSAD agents, even Late Maulana Jalapuri was an agent , Zion.Hamids 9mm pistol , which he has kept since his JIHAD participated with CIA.RAW.MOUSSAD , which he used in Afghan War. He is a true MUJAHID …so pleas all hail for ZION HAMID ……!!!…

    All ppl following ZH are TRUE , PIETY MUSLIMS, rest are FASADIS :D

    Disclaimer : All content written above is written for the humiliation of ZH .Recommend

  • Tauseef Mallick
    Apr 18, 2010 - 6:52PM

    nicely written dude… expect more from you, as the issues are much much more.. keep going… just loved the way you penned it down.. awsomeRecommend

  • Apr 19, 2010 - 1:02AM

    Zion is not even worth satirizing. Fasih you could have wasted your time in writing something else, learn satire from Paracha :PRecommend

  • Haider
    Apr 19, 2010 - 3:53AM

    Awesome!!!!
    Fasi u rock man!!!!!!
    hats off to u :)Recommend

  • Zasi Faka
    Apr 19, 2010 - 5:13AM

    all you time is spent on criticizing others. like somebody said above ‘Do something constructive!!!’
    have you ever spoken about Zardari? or may be Sharif bros? Recommend

  • Rehan Khan
    Apr 19, 2010 - 6:41AM

    :D hilarious. Very well written indeed. It has been quite a while since i read something this funny. Fasi, the last thing that was as enjoyable was the “Edwardian” College Magazine. Good work !Recommend

  • DR.MEHWISH GHAZANFER
    Apr 20, 2010 - 10:53AM

    Maza aagaya :DRecommend

  • Mohsin
    Apr 20, 2010 - 5:04PM

    “Ali Dazmat could also not attend because he was fighting a jihad on Facebook, risking his life in a crucial game of Mafia Wars against the global Zionist media.

    It is said he will go on one to one against neo-con Paul Phoenix in a game of Tekken on Xbox as Momin Marshall Law next.”

    LOL! Fantastic…Recommend

  • Maqk
    Apr 20, 2010 - 10:52PM

    Satire is gr8 – keep up the good work – comments are even more gr8 specially ARIFs – Nail in the Coffin!!!Recommend

  • Ramna Hadi
    Apr 21, 2010 - 4:45AM

    Here’s to hoping this brass sticks to our snake in the grass ZH!Recommend

  • Apr 21, 2010 - 11:08AM

    Wow, amazingly written, i know it’s a satire, but it isn’t far from reality ;-)Recommend

  • Bilal Lakhani
    Apr 21, 2010 - 4:36PM

    This is satire at its best!Recommend

  • Apr 21, 2010 - 6:11PM

    I do not agree to Zahid Hamid’s philosophy and I believe that only way to glory is science, business and industry but still having said that, I strongly believe that this piece of writing is by no means up to standards at some places. It would have really helped if you could highlight the contradiction and immaturity of the thought and philosophy under consideration. Recommend

  • Danish Akhter
    Apr 22, 2010 - 11:32AM

    How many times does ZH has spoken against the interest of Pakistan? when a nation fails to devise its plan behind the doors, it has to be discussed publicly. Recommend

  • Rahim
    Apr 23, 2010 - 11:34AM

    Yes, DISCUSSED publically, not RANTED and asking people to go to war. Danish you need to corrupt your mind once again to rectify the brainwashing you and your comrades seem to have experience at the hands of Zaid Hamid. Recommend

  • tipu truckanwala
    Apr 23, 2010 - 12:12PM

    Fasi hear your radio show many times ,read you 1st time and you surprise me good work !Recommend

  • Khurrum
    Apr 23, 2010 - 3:48PM

    Fasih , we are Proud of you , exposing this Zion Hamid and his War Hysteria mongering and Dajal Bashing as well India Israel nexus of Evil .

    It is said that Fear makes People not use their mind and Zion Hamid by Imagining enemies of Pakistan is Creating Fear that serves his purpose of serving this same people who he served as Jihadi in Afghanistan to serve Amerika and its fight against communists .

    His Pro-Dictatorship views expalin who he is working for Mush the Ex- President . Another Amerikan Stooge like him. Recommend

  • Shairani
    Apr 23, 2010 - 5:02PM

    lol!! Recommend

  • bt
    Apr 23, 2010 - 6:01PM

    WTF???Recommend

  • Averoes
    Apr 23, 2010 - 10:30PM

    Where is the Like button? I can’t find it anywhere.Recommend

  • Apr 24, 2010 - 12:43AM

    Fasi Zaka is Yahodi in closet. I have myself seen Mossad delivering big boxes of Mangoes to his house with some milk to make ‘Katchi Lassi’. He is fearful of our fearless leader that is why he is hiding behind satire. Our leader is not Samad Bond, he is the father of all James Bonds since the Crusades.

    Who opened the eyes of the nation? Who brought pride in the hearts of our burger family generation? Being a Pakistani is something to be proud off only due to our Caliph. I urge you to give just one year Caliphate to our beloved leader and forget about your country. I mean he’ll change it beyond recognition …. I mean in a positive way ….. I mean you know what I mean! Recommend

  • Apr 24, 2010 - 8:07PM

    This is irritating now.

    I am no fan of Zaid Hamid but please stop it!

    Dont you two have anything else to write about?

    Keep your obsession to your drawing rooms please!Recommend

  • suhail
    Apr 24, 2010 - 10:59PM

    never read any mqm bashing by fasi or paracha, any special reason?Recommend

  • Qamar, Vienna
    Apr 25, 2010 - 4:56PM

    fasi is mummy daddy child…he knows only thing…make a joke of othersRecommend

  • shahbaz
    Apr 25, 2010 - 5:08PM

    @ Natasha

    Man, stop hiding begind boredom as an excuse to defend your “prophet” (of doom really) Zaid Hamid

    @Suhail

    Not exactly mqm bashin but the other article on fasi here (The New Game or some something), does it.Recommend

  • PKinUK
    Apr 25, 2010 - 6:06PM

    I bet ZH will not be subscribing to The Express Tribune; that’s 1 customer lost :DRecommend

  • Ali Haider
    Apr 25, 2010 - 9:40PM

    Shallow article. I do not support Ziad Hamid but I do not support such articles either. This indeed looks like a primary class joke that makes people laugh for a while and then is forgotten. If nothing else, you are promoting the Ziad Hamid yourself!!!!

    I have the same opinion about your program on TV. It is far less than appealing.Recommend

  • Qamar, Vienna
    Apr 26, 2010 - 3:20PM

    Ali Azmat and Maria B has more achievements for Pakistan than you…as far as Zahid Hamid is concerned he is non of your business…just criticizing others never meant that you have got fame…plz change your themes and do something constructive Recommend

  • Saif Khan
    Apr 27, 2010 - 4:35AM

    Brilliant article. May Allah bless Ali Azmat in his struggle against the Godfathers of Mafia Wars !! Ameen. :DRecommend

  • May 12, 2010 - 10:14AM

    Absolutely Biased!Recommend

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