Adoption displays: Newsworthy or not?

Like most siblings, my elder sister and I grew up arguing and fighting. One fine day, during an argument, in a fit of anger, she said that mom had picked me up from a dumpster and I wasn’t a part of the family. I, being overly sensitive, got extremely upset. There were even a few tears involved. My mother’s assurances eventually did manage to convince me that my sister was just kidding but I still remember the crippling sense of fear, uncertainty and confusion. It took me many days to get over the idea that I wasn’t a part of ‘my’ family. Just imagine life for people who had not been accepted by their parents and instead, dumped on a heap of garbage. Life then becomes more than a struggle, not just in terms of proper nourishing, nurturing, education and training, but also to trace one’s family. Adopted children are considered a stigma in this society, irrespective of the circumstances under which they were born.

A decade back, people would have rarely heard news of a newborn being found in a dumpster or abandoned in front of a social welfare organisation. Undoubtedly, these organisations are playing a key role in saving lives and even creating awareness for the people in need.

According to Edhi Foundation, 90 per cent of abandoned babies are female and most of them are found dead. Those found alive are then given to childless couples. A press conference is organised when a child is handed over to a couple. A number of newspapers also carry the event’s pictures as well as news spreads. It is a job well done, but the process is flawed. Adoptions should not happen in this manner because, chances are, these children will eventually find out about the adoption and a taboo like that, along with the anxiety of not knowing about one’s own lineage leads to identity struggles. The question of who their real parents were may always worry them.

I recently asked the head of a welfare organisation to connect me to any couple who had adopted a girl. He refused to do so saying that it would be difficult for the family and the girl could find out. I am forced to ask what happens if the girl sees a picture or news clipping, or if she is informed by some careless relative and finds out that she was collected from a dumpster? I, for one, think these welfare child giveaway press moots shouldn’t be allowed. It is better not to make such events public.

Published in The Express Tribune, November 25^th, 2013.