There are some wonderful patches of prose out there on Pakistan and India meeting on the cricket pitch; ‘war without the shooting’ isn’t one of them. But sportswriters are the last to let cute cliches go, and so it was when the two sides clashed in South Africa in 2007. The press could be forgiven; they and millions of South Asians had white-knuckled it through the first-ever World Twenty20, and the finale meant the two archrivals going eyeball-to-eyeball in Johannesburg’s Wanderers Stadium, dangerous on the best of days.
It wasn’t pretty. Mohammed Hafeez’s much-talked-about talks-about-strategy failed to put him past three balls. The sad and bad Kamran Akmal was smacked out for a duck. Having giggled that Irfan was, in fact, no Pathan, Shahid Afridi was bowled out by the same pretender, going home with a pedigree as spotless as his score. As dominoes went thud-thud, Misbahul Haq, a man not yet known for tuk-tuk, stepped up to the crease. Having sidled into the (literally) massive middle-order void of another ul-Haq — the gifted Inzamam — Misbah proved magnificent.
It was hapless Harbhajan Singh that Misbah clobbered for three sixes in an over, and having dragged Team Green back into the game kicking and screaming, belted Joginder Sharma with another six down the ground (even critics agree the man can put away sixes big and tall). Six little runs were needed off four balls too many. Since it seemed Misbah had about won us the match, it was his to lose.
Which he did. As usually happens with time running out, stable, staid old Misbah switched over to his lesser-known side — the berserker — and went for a deranged scoop shot. The ball, and blue victory with it, sailed right in the hands of Sreesanth, trolling opponents since 2006. Though Pakistanis everywhere were scratching their heads, they were hard-pressed to find fault; the 33-year-old star had fended off New Zealand, India and Australia all in the same tournament.
It’s a recurrent theme in the Misbah saga, minus the people’s patience. The captain believes, like the Aesop’s Fable, that slow and steady wins cricket matches — except when he doesn’t. Then, as with Mohali, Misbah will bat boring (and be boring) even as his teammates hara-kiri themselves all around him. When it’s at last apparent not quite as many seconds are left, Misbah the MBA will hedge his bets and aim for the skies. This usually gets him out, which usually writes off our batting, which usually means we lose.
Because the man from Mianwali forms the stubborn defence to Pakistan’s tottering, trembling batting line-up, a brick wall to his fans and face-numbing tuk-tuk to his foes. Taking the wider view, his captaincy is a blip of calm on an otherwise crazy radar, and with reason. A terrific defence by Sahibzada M Irfan covered these pages last year, “his record has been one to make the most successful captains envious … Misbah has led Pakistan in 22 One-Day Internationals to date, of which Pakistan have won 16. In T20s, he has led Pakistan to six wins in eight matches.”
Mr Irfan also brought up Geoff Lawson’s letter to incoming coach Dav Whatmore, and it makes for telling reading, “(Misbah) is a bright, well-educated man … ask Misbah who should be in the team and he will give you players who aren’t someone’s second cousin’s brother’s uncle … He sets a perfect example in work ethic and discipline, and it does make a difference when the senior players are doing all the right things, especially in their culture of age and respect going hand in hand.”
A difference Mohammad Amir might relate to. It seems easy to forget now, after three years of Misbah’s sobering effect, how Salman Butt raped Pakistani cricket. It was sport brought low; Mazhar Majeed caught by Murdoch’s News of the World rag counting piles of cash, Salman Butt oozing sleaze with denial after denial, twin talents Asif and Amir sent to jail and juvey.
Yes, Misbah took up the captaincy when there was more risk than reward, clenching his teeth through question after question on spot-fixing and sport-killing. Normalcy, an adjective long denied to Pakistani cricket, made a comeback (if ever it put in an appearance).
But the people aren’t pleased with how slow (or stable) this skipper is, and he knows it: between Zimbabwe and South Africa, he went from zero to hero back to zero again: “the most vilified captain for no fault of his” according to Rashid Latif. “If I was listening (to critics),” Misbah once sulked, fit at nearly-40, “my career would have been finished in 2001.”
A lot of this is jazbaat. Nine times out of 10, Pakistanis will prefer charisma to consistency. Here, Misbah has neither the Disney-movie heroics of an Imran, nor the sleepy-eyed genius of an Inzamam. Unlike Javed Miandad, he won’t attempt murdering today’s Dennis Lillees with a paddle shot.
He is also the antithesis of the man he succeeded as ODI captain, a diva who rides bikes even in shampoo commercials. Shahid Afridi represented the public he played for in ways Misbah never can: undisciplined and unpredictable, ill-tempered and big-hearted, destined by fate to waste talent that was God-given. Lala is a symptom of the best and worst of his countrymen … and is beloved for it. Put up against the ball-chomping, blonde-highlighting Boom Boom, cynical, clinical Misbah is like a German nurse the audience can’t quite relate to.
And it’s exactly what cricket needs right now — the soothing touch — which no one could put better than Mukul Kesavan in 2011. Calling Misbah a straight man in a band of clowns, Mr Kesavan nailed the team of our times: “It isn’t a touring cricket side … it’s a lunatic repertory company … There’s no team in cricket that has more electricity about it. Even its profligacy, the extravagance with which it wastes its prodigious gifts, is a spectacle that’s worth the price of a ticket … Because even when (Pakistan plays) like the Keystone Cops, the script in their heads is always Ocean’s Eleven.”
Published in The Express Tribune, October 29th, 2013.
Like Opinion & Editorial on Facebook, follow @ETOpEd on Twitter to receive all updates on all our daily pieces.
COMMENTS (18)
Comments are moderated and generally will be posted if they are on-topic and not abusive.
For more information, please see our Comments FAQ
It seems as if the writer wrote this whole article spending so much time consulting dictionary every minute to select out the the best difficult vocabulary available. Although we ain't the native speakers yet we own some phobias to be remained in touch with informal words and phrases.Even London Metro and Evening Standard do not use such tricky language especially in sports article (they probably are aware that their readers are multi ethnic and might not have enough time to purchase a pocket sized dictionary) and that are only us (south east asian) who think off putting twists in write ups as of some thing very imperative and impressive :P
Well the article itself is fine and represent the reality. Good luck
Thank you for being my ally Asad Rahim! When it comes to defending Misbah, I need all the help I can get, but this piece by one of my favourite columnists ( the others being RBR and Talat Hussain) truly made my day. It is one thing for me to defend him and even get my life's only Tribune Op-Ed on the subject, (something I will always be proud of, because that was the best thing I ever did for the true Captain Cool) but this holds far more weight than anything done by me can, due to your excellent reputation for logic.
Well at times we need to see things in context. Misbah may not have been the best player but for sure he has been the most effective player. Looking at the history it has been the batting lineup which has let us down so we need to have someone responsible batsman like him to at least strengthen the middle order.
Compassion of Misbah with Yusuf would not be justified because Misbah doesn't have a support in the middle order or top order however on the other hand Yusuf had the support of Inzi , Malik , Saeed Anwar .
So looking at the scenario we should be content that atleast we have one batsman we can rely on . Statistics support him to we should back him for better .
@umair, A BIG NO, I don't agree with you at all. Don't compare the Yousaf era with Misbah's. At that time we had so many performing big names in our team and team was much reliable then what we have now. At that time we had Salman Butt(8 (100's) and 14(50's) in 78 ODI's), Younis(in-form but not now), Yousaf, Inzi, Abdul Razzaq and at that time we had been playing cricket in our home as well, then how can you compare Yousaf with this Misbah. Here Misbah is the only one who comes to rescue the team and does it all alone. Even Younis doesn't contributes now. And Afridi just comes to entertain his fans, he never bothered about winning. He never takes the responsibility even when he was captain. We should be thankful to this courageous captain of this sinking ship who is always there not to show wonders but try his efforts best to take the team out of the pressure situation and he does it well.
@umair has summed up views of Misbah critics .. Absolutely agree with him.
funny and nice to read! also on one of my favourites!
@Author: Dude? Mohd Yousuf was even more consistent than Misbah n he wasnt like Afridi...y wasnt he criticized? Because he knew how to construct innings and rotate strike without coming under pressure...When it comes to Misbah he is very good test batsman but when it comes to limited over cricket he fails to construct an innings even when pakistan is in comfortable position.consumes soo many dot balls and we dont endup making most use of most balls..
Great writing!
Not a big cricket fan but a huge fan of your writing. It's always a pleasure to read you.
Misbah is destined to finish with most test wins as pak captain and winning the world cup in 2015....currently on 11 tests wins...4 tests wins in next 2 years before the win in worldcup would be a perfect ending to the most committed cricketer pakistan has ever seen !!
I had always liked the tuk tuk more than the boom boom that went bust 9 out of 10. We always seem to love superficial and mediocre and get emotionally carried away in every field, be it cricket,politics or armed foeces.
"...how Salman Butt-raped Pakistani cricket" BEST!
Because he's the hero Pakistan deserves, but not the one it needs right now. So we'll hunt him because he can take it. Because he's not our hero. He's a silent guardian, a watchful protector. A dark knight.
Come on Misbah! We wanna see you lifting the World Cup 2015 in Australia :)
As always a pleasure to read your work Asad.
Rashid Latif is right, Misbah is a great captain vilified by people who just refuse to appreciate the game. A balanced article, well done.