Book review: Delicate truths, plainly put

The Facebook COO uses her story to look at how women unintentionally hold back in their careers but don’t have to.

Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead, according to its author Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg, is a “sort of a feminist manifesto” which she hopes “inspires men as much as it inspires women”. Whether it becomes an inspiration has yet to be decided, but if it is a feminist manifesto, it is a rather strange one. Sandberg’s is, if you will, a mellow feminism heavily laced with practicality. It is a feminism which is does not believe that referring to women as ‘womyn’ will make gender equality a reality. It demands — and this is one of the chief reasons Sandberg is catching a lot of flak — that women ‘lean in’.

Enough with whining about things they have no control over, women need to believe in themselves, be ambitious, speak up more often and be prepared to take on more challenges. One of Forbes World’s 100 Most Powerful Women, Sandberg understands too well how difficult it can be to overcome gender stereotypes, so she peppers each chapter with advice. For instance, in ‘Success and Likability’ (chapter 3), she explains, quoting the results of the famous Howard/Heidi experiment, how success and likability are inversely proportional for women. “If a woman is competent, she does not seem nice enough. If a woman seems really nice, she is considered more nice than competent”. Her advice here is, ‘Think personally, act communally’. She asks women to be “delicately honest” rather than being “brutally honest”.



Sandberg admits in the introduction that the book is most relevant to women who “have choices about how much and when and where to work”. But Pakistani female medical students should definitely buy a copy. After these future doctors have read how it is possible to achieve a work-home balance, they should go back to page 13, and reread Judith Rodin’s words (“My generation fought so hard to give all of you choices. We believe in choices. But choosing to leave the workforce was not the choice we thought so many of you would make.”).

It is also a helpful read for anyone struggling in the corporate world as Sandberg talks as a successful business leader. People need to be less risk-averse, more involved, less afraid of learning something new. Sandberg’s revolution is not a soldier marching to destroy mankind; it is more like a bride walking down the aisle, one step at a time. And then one day this kind of sexist comparison will seem outdated.

Women on top? Not really

Sheryl Sandberg was big as the COO of Facebook but the Ted Talk in December 2010 catapulted her to a new level of fame. In its 15 minutes and 30 seconds, Sandberg drew on her experience at Google, the World Bank and US Treasury Department to speak on why we have too few women leaders in this day and age. The harsh truth is that, “Women are not making it to the top of any profession anywhere in the world,” she said. They systematically underestimate their own abilities. They do not negotiate for themselves in the workforce. Men attribute their success to themselves, and women attribute it to other external factors.

Our three refreshing picks of women who say it like it is

1. Bossypants



Move over David Sedaris, this is the book by the funniest woman on the planet who is as famous for her Sarah Palin impersonation as her series 30Rock. This is the read about how Fey became such a success while being so irreverent. No lectures on feminism here, just advice not to eat diet food during a meeting. And you have to see the joke on salted peanuts on page 4.

2. Down came the rain



Published a year after Tom Cruise criticised her for using anti-depressants after having a baby, this book by Brooke Shields is a must-read for any woman who needs support which tends to be scant at this crucial juncture in their lives. Shields is honest about the crippling depression and details her recovery through medication, talk therapy and time.

3. A Vindication of the Rights of Woman



One of the original feminists, Wollstonecraft wrote this dense treatise in 1792. While it is not light reading, it is worth the hard work as Wollstonecraft put forward some notions that are perhaps relevant in Pakistan today. For example, she argued that a confined existence makes women frustrated and transforms them into tyrants over their children and servants.

Published in The Express Tribune, Sunday Magazine, April 21^st, 2013.

Like Express Tribune Magazine on Facebook to stay informed and join the conversation.