Pasha for PM!

Many years ago, in the magnificent reign of the Commando, when manna used to fall from heaven and when we were told that everything that this man’s army did was right and proper, and just the thing to do; that it could do no wrong; and that our generals knew the answer to the meaning of life itself.

When we were told that in planning and starting the Kargil conflict, the Commando had not only cut off the Indian’s supply lines to Siachen, he was about to conquer all of India. Never mind that only a few people of the many who should have known actually knew that the operation was being planned, and that even the other Service Chiefs were kept in the dark until India ‘disproportionately responded’ (stand-up, Humayun Gauhar) to the attack, i.e., when it was too late to do anything but to beg the then prime minister, Nawaz Sharif, to go to the US and request President Bill Clinton to intercede with the Indians and help pull the Commando’s chestnuts out of the fire.

When the Commando was prancing on the country’s stage egged on by his toadies and sycophants, flexing his muscles and saying he would kick both Nawaz Sharif and the much-lamented Benazir Bhutto, and “land the last punch”, I had suggested that all of the Pakistani nation should be recruited into the Pakistan Army as sepoys.

(As an aside, let me say that in response to the Commando’s threat to do bodily harm to Nawaz Sharif and Benazir Bhutto, I had advised him not to ever even think of getting into the ring with Mr Sharif, who I had met in London a few weeks earlier, and saw that Mashaallah he had an iron build. He will beat you to a pulp, I wrote to the Commando).

But back to our main theme. Of course, the officer ranks would stay reserved for graduates of the PMA, some of who would upon commissioning also join the civil, foreign and police services in appointments commensurate with their army ranks. I had proposed that the principal staff officers at the GHQ would automatically wear two hats corresponding to their jobs at the GHQ: the Adjutant General that of the interior minister; the military secretary becoming the secretary establishment; the Surgeon General, the minister of health and so on.

So then, in line with what I had written these many years ago, and what with the spate of statements issued by the ISPR and the army chief himself being widely quoted in the media, about how the army wanted fair elections on time and so on and on, it is only sensible, nay the need of the hour, to have a senior general as the interim prime minister. And who a more suitable candidate than Lt Gen (retd) Shuja Pasha, the recently retired director general of the ISI. Who else would be more non-partisan, fair, judicious and honest of purpose than a retired general of the army, particularly one who has also headed, and most effectively, the country’s “premier” intelligence agency?

The reasons are many, the principal one being that with a former “spymaster” (or whatever our ghairat brigades call our ISI DGs) in charge of the country, we will see a dramatic downturn in terror attacks for he will then be in a position to take effective action on the many leads that his former agency allegedly gives the inefficient and corrupt “bloody civilians” who then fail to act on them.

He also conducted himself in a most transparent manner when, for one, dealing with the Raymond Davis affair, first arranging the payment of Diyat to the families of the two who were killed by Davis, petty criminals as they later turned out to be and possibly working for the “agency” too, through the “agency’s” favourite lawyer, and then shovelling the blame on to the “bloody civilians” through the ghairatmand media.

What is more, he was always known for scrupulously adhering to every tenet; every comma and semi-colon of our Constitution while in service, such as reporting to the prime minister before the army chief. So, who better than Pasha to see that no extra-constitutional act is allowed when he is a caretaker prime minister? We must recall too, that when an allegation was made against a high official of state by a known dodgy foreigner, who had severely bad-mouthed Pasha’s own ISI in a foreign journal, Pasha took proper permission from the government to fly to London to interview the man.

And that, in keeping with the rules of fairplay, he then went to Washington DC to give an equal opportunity to Husain Haqqani, our ambassador to the United States, to clear his name by answering, what seemed at the time, and still do, most outlandish allegations. Specially coming from a man who had, let me repeat myself, referred to a Section in the ISI as a ‘cancer’. And also said about it: “It is my view, and it is still my view today that Section S of the ISI has been involved in some very, very nefarious activities.”

So, perfectly suited is Mr Pasha, do you not think, to become interim prime minister of this blighted country? But what about his cabinet you might well ask. Well, who better than General (retd) Mirza Aslam Beg as interior minister; Lt Gen (retd) Asad Durrani as finance minister; (Lt Gen) Hamid Gul as defence minister to name a few. And whilst I have the deepest respect for the present incumbent, Lt Gen Rafaqat, who headed the “Election Cell” in Mr GIK’s President’s House, complete with his magical computers, as chief election commissioner.

Why these people, you could also ask. Aslam Beg for ensuring the safe handing over of funds to favoured candidates who I shall not name here lest I get attacked; Asad Durrani for actually being in charge of the treasury to obviate the need to go to people like Yunus Habib; Hamid Gul so that he may keep close contact with his friends, the jihadists, now known as “restive tribals” not “terrorists”.

So, here’s to Shuja Pasha as interim PM!

END

P.S. I am told a newspaper in Mansehra carries a report on Pasha for PM today...

Published in The Express Tribune, March 8^th, 2013.