Bright ideas that light up the dark

You know that feeling when someone pops a flashlight in your face and blinds you?.

KARACHI:

Fortunately for us Pakistanis, the regular power outages keep us plugged in to the finer things that are only possible in darkness (no dirty ideas, please). When you are done complaining about being garmi mein kharab and missing out on the latest episode of Suits, give these bright ideas a chance if you want to stay awake:

Spread better rumours

From panic about a military/alien takeover to speculations that Rehman Malik has employed a new scheme to prevent terrorism , Twitter saw just about all the conspiracy theories that could be born in the wake of a nationwide blackout. While some tried to think of ‘logical’ explanations (such as PSO has stopped supplying fuel to electricity companies), others got really excited about the government toppling. Next time, you can get more creative and switch on the common sense bulb — most of us don’t need a generator for that.

Get a little high

No, we are not condoning any form of substance abuse. All we want you to do is get up on the roof or pull out that charpoy (sans chowkidar) and look up at the stars. You won’t need any form of banned substances and/or sappy Valentine’s Day leftover messages to get starry eyed. It will be Bollywood in real time as the breeze blows against your face and the sky is lit up with a million stars. Disclaimer: Don’t expect Shahrukh Khan to show up. He won’t be able to find his way in the dark.

Eat your feelings

It’s too dark to look at the calorie counter and your feelings are dark too. Besides, you will be doing your bit for the hunger crisis if you don’t let that tub of ice cream go to waste. Again, don’t worry about that moment on your lips being forever on your hips. No one will see anything. And with our luck, our country will never resolve its electricity problems and we can all be happily overweight. So feel your way through the darkness (avoid the maid) and binge away.

Djinn o’ clock

When was the last time you sat down with your siblings and told each other stories about the churail with the inverted feet? If you can’t remember, then the next power outage is just the right time to invent your encounter with a ghost. Head to the living room, huddle up in a circle and tell your stories in the dead of the night. If you have grandparents, the story telling session may get better; your dadi may tell you the one about the djinn that fell in love with her khulay baal.

Soul search

When all else fails, the last but definitely not the least important thing you might want to do is a bit of soul searching. It’s important since you will have to search quite a bit and don’t be shocked if you realise you don’t have it anymore. For those of you who do, you can write dark, tortured poetry. No one will judge you as long as you make sure it doesn’t see the light of the day. So find your soul, but keep it to yourself.

Published in The Express Tribune, February 27^th, 2013.            

Like Life & Style on Facebook for the latest in fashion, gossip and entertainment.