Make life happen: Finding peace through chaos

Three steps to cope with uncertainty in your daily life.

KARACHI:

Living in London spoils you. You can expect your mobile phone to work; water will come out of your bathroom tap and when you switch on the lights at home after a long day, there will be electricity.

Visiting Karachi, on the contrary, has been a shock. I’ve been told to be careful at least a dozen times, was stuck in chaotic traffic as roads were blocked and my mobile phone was switched off because it was a public holiday. Life does not always go as planned. The general expectation is that your day will rarely turn out as you like.

How well are you coping with the chaos in your life? People I’ve been speaking to find themselves frustrated and angry on a daily basis. The feelings are understandable given that most of us need a bit of security and certainty in order to thrive (though some of us thrive in chaos). So, let’s look at how we can help ourselves cope with this daily uncertainty a little bit better.

Manage your internal state

Things are challenging indeed, and there is no denying that. However, I will assert that it is how we relate to the situation that affects our peace of mind to a greater extent than what is actually going on. If you keep reminding yourself how bad things are, then you are sending an internal message to yourself to be ready for trouble. The consequence of this is that you will be anxious and fearful all the time — even when there is no need to be. You cannot be telling yourself that things are bad and then expect to feel good. It just won’t happen.

The first step to staying calm through chaos is to notice your own internal dialogue. Do you wake up wondering what will go wrong today? Or do you hope that you will have a good day? Begin each day by reminding yourself of five things that you are grateful for. Go on, write them down, and make sure to choose things that you are actually grateful for. It can be anything from a nice cup of tea to having a peaceful morning. Developing a grateful state of mind will go a long way in keeping you calm and focused in a chaotic environment.

Make contingency plans

Facing the prospect that things could go horribly wrong is challenging. One very effective method to remain calm and productive is to make contingency or alternative plans. Making such plans will provide some peace of mind because you will know that you have another option of getting things done if your initial plan does not work out.

For example, you could speak to your colleague about arranging a phone or Skype meeting in case roads get blocked. Maybe plan a range of lessons for the kids in case schools are closed. Making alternative plans will be challenging in the beginning but think of it as learning a new skill. In time, it will become a valuable skill that you will benefit from in a lot of situations.

Spread your efforts

Do you find that your work is being affected in these challenging times? The answer to that is probably yes. One way to combat this ongoing disease is to spread your efforts. Pursue at least one project of an autonomous nature. Take on something that doesn’t require too much of an external influence — something that you can do even while other things have to be on hold.

This could be the perfect opportunity to brush up on some skills or to learn something new. Think about going back to school, practicing your art, or perhaps working from home. If you can find something that will meet your interests and your needs, then you will have a safety net when things become challenging in the outside world.

Sayeda Habib is a life coach who empowers her clients to create a fulfilling, happier life. To find out more on coaching, or to work with Sayeda, log on to www.makelifehappen.com or email [e-mail]

Have a question for Sayeda? Drop us an email explaining your problem on [e-mail] and read her response next week! All submissions will be edited for clarity and brevity.

Published in The Express Tribune, January 27^th, 2013.

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