This March 23, Pakistan and India scaled new heights — or is ‘plumbed new depths’ the term I want? — of stupid, vacuous, and dangerous machismo at the Wagah flag-lowering/gate-closing — or is ‘banging the gates shut’ the term I want? — ceremony. The quite ridiculous drill movements were even more exaggerated, and therefore more in contravention of the rules and regulations contained in the Drill Manual that the armed services in both countries must surely follow.
The ‘ceremony’ was, as a consequence, made even more ludicrous and comical than the other times that I had chanced to see this graceless spectacle, the soldiers on both sides snorting like horses and flicking their heads from side to side like demented souls.
However, most disconcerting was the glee with which the spectators sitting in the stands provided by both countries on their sides of the border watched the tamasha. It is so wrong, nay pathetic, that instead of guiding their people towards amity and good neighbourliness, these two countries are actually promoting aggression and rancour towards each other.
I am bitterly disappointed, for there was some hope a year or so back when India announced that it was going to tone down the aggression on shameful display at Wagah unilaterally. I recall writing then, that it was an excellent decision on India’s part and that I hoped that my country would respond in like manner. This was not to be because Pakistan insisted on going on as theretofore. I then wrote another article encouraging India to go ahead on its own, but alas, foolish one-upmanship propels both countries on exactly the wrong and harmful path.
Let me here make a suggestion. If it is true that both countries feel that a show of animosity and anger must be put on as a means of gaining cheap popularity by pandering to the base instincts of a people brought up on a diet of right-wing, extremist ‘ideology’, then why not stage a boxing match between Jawans of the Pakistan Rangers and the Indian Border Security Force (BSF) every evening?
I say ‘show of animosity’ because in the course of the day both sides interact with one another like decent human beings, helping people cross the border with dignity and grace. Many times during the year sweets are exchanged between the two forces on national celebratory holidays and religious festivals such as Eid and Diwali. But come every evening and those same people are transformed into veritable Yahoos, egged on by the spectators on both sides. Why, we even have a man dressed in the Pakistani flag dancing maniacally in the stands.
Needless to say, the ‘foreigners’ who travel to Attari specially to see this disgraceful show and cheap entertainment, must surely laugh up their sleeves at the puerile braggadocio put on ugly display by both countries. For, elsewhere in the world where there are borders, there is none of this: no gates that need to be banged shut; no joint ceremonies; just a quiet and dignified lowering of flags, if that.
It seems that Pakistan and India are stuck in the old ‘Cold War Groove’ even decades later, shouting out to the world that we are unstable, unhinged countries living on the brink, from which anything can be expected. Shame.
Let me make an urgent appeal to the governments of Pakistan and India: if your respective armies will not stop this ‘show’ why don’t you order them to? Surely you agree that it is an outrage and an abomination? An outrage that would only be supported by people on either side of the border seeing idiotic dreams of annihilating the other.
Such as our own Zaid Zaman ‘Ghazwa-i-Hind’ Hamid who has most recently gone to the Honourable Supreme Court, in his own words as given on his official Facebook page: ‘Today, we have filed a Petition in the Supreme Court against SAFMA for High Treason against Pak Sarzameen, its sacred ideology, its beloved founding fathers and waging a war against Pak Sarzameen, armed forces and our freedom on behalf of the enemies.
‘We have demanded Death Panelty under article 6 High Treason law for All SAFMA leaders, members and supporters like (ten names withheld by author). Now these snakes will be dragged to the court and confronted with their crimes against Pak Sarzameen InshAllah.
‘Thusands of Pakistanis have joined hands Alhamdolillah to expose and confront these snakes and now the Petition has been filed in the Supreme Court! By Allah, we will defend our Medina e Sani, its sacred ideology, its geography, its armed forces and our freedom!
‘For the first time in Pakistan history, media has been dragged to the court for treason and attacking the Islamic clauses of the Constitution and staging subversion and sabtage of the stage on behalf of the enemies in these times of war.
‘Now there will be no neutrals! Either you are with SAFMA snakes or you are with patriots! We will add more names to the list of traitors as the case progresses, InshAllah! The battle has now gone to the new levels! Let the snakes burn in hell!’
I ask you!
I have no idea what My Lords will order, but might I venture to most humbly suggest that the petition (filed by none other than my old friend Ahmad Raza Kasuri who debated long with me on various TV channels, on why the superior judiciary should not be restored) be dismissed for the wrong spellings and terms (‘fifth calumets’, for one!) used in it? Might I also beseech My Lords to take note that the language used is so incendiary as to impel vigilante behaviour? For the record, I am a proud Pakistani who loves his country to bits, but I am on SAFMA’s side on this.
And so on we go, lurching from one storm in a teacup to another manufactured storm in a teacup, Meemogate leading. An appeal to My Lord Isa: Equal rights, My Lord, equal rights.
P.S. Master Hamid casts aspersions on SAFMA’s funding — could he tell us where he gets his from?
Published in The Express Tribune, March 30th, 2012.
COMMENTS (57)
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The retreat ceremony at Wagha is stupidest (or most stupid , which ever word you want to use for it) . I think , perhaps , we are the only people in the entire (civilised) world to indulge in such a ridiculous and ceremony . Shockingly , many seem to enjoy the spectacle . Which century we are living in ?
My humble efforts to persuade the powers that be , on our side of the border , to change to some sensible ceremony unilaterally , were in vain .
The Border Security Force does NOT fall under the Ministry of Defence. Headed by the Indian Police Service cadre, it is a paramilitary force that comes under the Ministry of Home. This may contribute to the persistence of the Wagah theatre show. No self respecting army will do it.
Poor taste and lack of imagination aside, a doctor friend tells me that such exaggerated stretching of legs can cause serious rectal problems in the long run.
@Parvez: "Today its a ‘tamasha’ carried out in very poor taste and I feel it is deliberately kept so to fire the minds of simple folk who know no better. "
I have a feeling that the whole country is being given the once over. The so-called "freedom" of the media is actively contributing in the dumbing down of the spectators of the national tamasha. Fiery speeches by ZAB were very much in the same spirit as fascist dictators of 30s-40s.
Earlier, mullah was kept in the background, but thanks to Zia, he has taken central stage. The mullah inspired, ultra-nationalists of every hue are being turned into simpletons by the likes of Zaid Hamid, Farhat Hashmi and IK among others. Whatever the IQ level a school going kid had in the past, it has undoubtedly plummeted down.
We are neck to neck with Yankees in this dumbing down race.
as usual , he speaks sense, the ceremony at the Wagh is a sick circus performance, cant we jus grow up...we crossed 60 sometime in last decade, lets behave our age
There is hardly any entertainment in this part of globe.
Let is remain there
LEt me repeat it again, and ET the US paper please don't edit it out, that Pakistanis and Indians are propbably the most bayghairat people on the face of this earth.
Equal rights from this judiciary? You must be joking.
Completely agree with you on this one. Many,many years ago the whole affair was simple, quick with a military grace attached. People watched, clapped and went back to Lahore city for a good dinner. Today its a 'tamasha' carried out in very poor taste and I feel it is deliberately kept so to fire the minds of simple folk who know no better.
Seriously people, what is it with all of the negativity.
The fact that the 2 countries cooperate in putting on this display is a positive sign. It's not like they open the gates, throw some grenades at slam the border shut!.
Foreigners come to Wagah to enjoy it, not to laugh at Pakistan and India. If you don't believe me just ask them yourself!
As a British Pakistani I can tell you now that I (and everyone else I know who has watched the Wagah ceremony) have joined in the FUN (in capitals) and have considered it a major highlight of our trip! Never did I consider it a hostile atmosphere, all the chanting is good natured banter.
The dilema of having few corrupt,heartless people on both sides filling in hatered,conflict for years years is unberable. For us Indians are as of our own but the stage acts of sports,dialogues has injected so much of hatered that at times feels there is no way o turn back. Rest for @Arindom I agree to such videos being staged on youtube but the acts and wods of Mr.Bal Takhray have been quiet soul full too :).Neverthe less if we all can make a difference than why not.
@Bhutto: not sure if this sort of display can belong to any "civilization". It's more like a sign of lack of "civilization".
@raza: are you talking about the games played with people like gulam nabi fai,the Kashmiri "activist" from the US who was caught being paid by one of Pakistanis "agencies" for the services he rendered them ?
The 2sides loath each other. This is a thatrical letting off of stem. Once on the trek to Mt washington I saw a 6-8 yr old Pakistani (?) boy jump out of the rocks and make pretend gunfire and say "die indians die". This has deep roots
@Bhutto: is that sence coming from bhutto clan is it??????
@Suzy: what about karachi and quetta darling???????
@Truth Teller: and u call ur self truth teller ??????
@Pollack: yes but what u gonna do about the game they ve been playing in kashmir for last twenty or so years with the help of UN,USA,UK and not to mention 700,000 army personals.
@Khan Jr: name it my friend pleeeeaaase i really need to know how low can one go.
I was so happy that when the Indian Army announced that its going to tone down the drill. But, either red tape hit or some genius in the UPA thought its a bad idea.
Its even more embarrassing for me that a part of India's system is indulging in it, an institution that I am proud of.
Great Article MR Shafi, I couldn't watch it even on my TV screen, it was disgusting display of depth of depravity from both side. Especially religious and patriotic slogans meh.... Both side just look at themselves, we cannot even feed our population. It's funny that Pakistan's western border is lying naked for insurgents, terrorists and US army but we proudly display our hollow show of strength on eastern border hahahaha idiots.
Zaid Hamid is fully supported & sponsored by you know by whom thus has no creditability & nobody takes him seriously at all in fact they think of him as a clown. This stupidity at Wagah border should be stopped immediately, it's total nonsence & stupidity. As usual a fantastic article from Kamran Shafi.
They should at least get rid of the stomping at the Wagah ceremony, can't be good for the health of the concerned soldiers. They will likely suffer from some damage 30-40 years from now when they are much older. The problem with unilaterally changing something is that this is not possible at least for the main part which requires co-ordination. India has introduced lady soldiers on its side for a part of the ceremony and as far as I remember there was a proposal from the BSF to the Rangers to do the same for the main part so that lady soldiers from both sides could jointly lower the flags. This would help in reducing the perceived 'male' aggression and encourage women to take up careers in their respective forces.
@Feroz your idea is a great one, by building such a thing we can show that both the nations have gracefully accepted the partion and now live peacefully as neighbors and there is no harm in it
The stupid ceremony at the Wagah border must be stopped immediately. Build a Museum at the border which citizens of both countries can visit, in honour of freedom fighters.
I am also on SAFMA side, Zahid Hamid is the person on the plant earth I hate the most, I don't know why government is not stopping these kind of radicals. They have no respect for political system, These people are clearly involved anti-state activity. These are the traitors of system cannot be allow to work in Pakistan in the name of ISLAM. The government attitude of providing space to spared hate in the name of Islam already resulted in thousands of Shias killings in Quetta and other part of country, Please stop these empty heads they don't know about Islam they have no respect and care for Islam. These are only mad toys use by some one else. .
@Arindom: The point wasn't that we make a lot of money from this - it was that the border becomes a much more 'civilian' location without the general tension seen at most other points, and this is helped by the tourist traffic as well. If the atmosphere is vitiated, it is not because of a border ritual that no one takes seriously - the same feeling permeates the air even in an Indo-Pak cricket match (people are too tense during the match to have fun because of the subtext). And as regards actions opening ourselves to general ridicule, I can guarantee that this one would not be that high on a rather long list.
Please don't ask for Zaid Hamid's ban Shafi sb... He provides me and so many other Pakistanis with so much entertainment... I seriously believe that if we want Pakistanis to wake up to the reality of our history and what Pakistan should have been... we must let Zaid Hamid go on with his stupid rhetoric so that we realize how stupid his mantra is... if you know what i mean
I have only 3 words, Bravo, bravo , bravo
Agreed with all Indians here, as a fellow Indians. India need not do this. It can unilaterally stop this childish display.
@Suzy
You have come out with a refreshing interpretration of the machismo on sisplay.I tend to agree with you that perhaps it owes more to the non-closure of the partition of Punjab.
@Kamran Shafi
Sir,
The implications of the Zaid Hamid petition are really dangerous. This may lead to not only physical threat to those named but may also mean an end to public dissent in the name of patriotism. May the Lords decide wisely.
very well written, Kamran I have suggestion to SAFMA and civil society of Pak led by some good intelectuals. Arrange a cermony at same place Wagha Border and exchanege gifts and presents cup of tea or cold drinks to all participants.also tell the people that its time to end this kind of stupidity by showing nonsense acts.lets be good neighbours.
Dear Kamran Shafi sir
India is not responsible for the shameful display at wagah border. It is all pakistani fault.
Am I the only one reminded of the ministry of funny walks from Monty Python?
@plarkin
It takes two to play this ugly game. India should just refuse to play this disgusting and degrading game of fanatical nationalism.
@BlackJack: I have absolutely no doubt that the 'actors' ( the soldiers) in this drama are actually well known to each other - obviously they have rehearsed and replayed and trained together for this hour long ceremony. I have been once a member of NCC (National Cadet Corp, India) and know as a fact that to put up a drill like that you need months of close practice involving everyone in the parade. To get the timing right - you need coordinated drill practice with single timers and drill masters! point it - I donot dispute it is all staged - what I am against is - for a few thousand rupees revenue from innocent Indian and Pakistani tourists, do we need to set this tamasha up for the whole world to sneer and laugh at our childishness?
This ceremony is an honest display of stupid mindset of both neighbors, plain and simple. This is one of the few acts both are doing honestly who are otherwise well known all over the world for corruption and deception.
Good one kamran sahib I hope our Indian govt does put a stop to this senseless act whic ends up affecting the well being of our soldiers, soliders are meant to protect country from external aggression they are not circus chimps.As for zaid hamid he is the fun factor sir, well I do for pakistan's the clown is censured and fined by the court for his ridiculous petition.
@Arindom: The trave film was 'Himalaya' by Michael Palin. I am glad you noted the smirk on his face too!
Spot on, as usual. Bravo.
Well said Mr.Shafi:
Probably the quickest way to end this is for one side, either the Pakistani or the Indian army to stand at ease and watch quietly the other side go through their contortions and strutting around. Once it is all over, the 'quiet group' should extend and shake the hands of the 'crazies'. If this process is repeated for a week, the group acting crazy and prancing around would feel stupid enough to sheepishly drop the whole thing. From then on everyone will act like civilized human beings.
I have mentioned it before. The ceremony should end each evening with a smiling handshake. It is high time atleast India must end this barbaric gate-closing ritual. If trade prospers between us perhaps there is no need to close the gate.
I agree with you 100%. Both the armies are playing cruel joke with their own people and at their cost. The petition you have mentioned would not be accepted in any other country's courts let alone their SC which is relegated to a trial court in Pakistan. Thanks for being open and honest and exposing the extreme elements.
It is the personification of stupid Punjabi machismo on display. Yes the Punjab was divided on religious lines but the true religion of Punjab is aggressive machismo and in that they are united.
loved the drill manual part...... sadly its no more followed. drill is otherwise the least of worries presently, or so it seems
These ceremonies are not necessarily "ludicurous"; depends on how you view it. For me, when I go to Wahga for the ceremony, it is a 'patriotising' experience, perhaps nothing else.
Intimation and neighbourly-love can still sprout even with these ceremonies going on, because they do not necessarily instil hate for the other side, it only makes you proud of your own; becoming arrogant or jingoistic, is certainly your own prerogative then. Again, it is how you view it. If for the author, the glass is half full, for me it is half empty then...!:)
@Arindom: I disagree with the notion that everyone watching the theatrics at the border enjoys it because of the rancour and dislike for the other side - it is like any well orchestrated dance, and everyone knows that the 2 stomping giants probably get along extremely well! I have been to the Wagah border with my family, and frankly what is there to see but this EoD ceremony - so from a tourism and commercial standpoint it makes sense as well. These are drops in the ocean my friend. What you should actually focus on is the hatred filled in textbooks of children who do not know better - (check for youtube videos of tiny kids shouting Bharati kutte hai hai at the top of their lungs).
That's the culture and civilization of sub-continent, it doesn't mean that both the nations hate each other!
SAFMA should be banned!!
I think we all know where Zaid Zaman ‘Ghazwa-i-Hind’ Hamid get his support and funding from and it certainly is not from any foreign agency but a well-known local one....
Both these great and proud armies were created and commanded by a few thousand Brits who successfully used them as mercenaries to control the natives!
Very right Kamran, I saw a BBC travel programme capturing this and the sneer and the chuckling of the anchor was obvious. He ovbiously went to capture this so as to give some comic 'relief' to his Western viewers. Needless to say I am disgusted. There are many you-tube videos too - all with captions like - "ridiculous ceremony", "funny" etc etc.. It is a mockery of the entire sub-continent.
Sir when u served in this holy Army why didnot closed or atleast tried????