Review: Why Jake Gyllenhaal, Conor McGregor's 'Road House' comes off as a Salman Khan film

Something about the film scratches a familiar itch

KARACHI:

I'm not the biggest fan of action films, which is why when I begrudgingly agreed to watch Road House, I was intrigued by how immersed I was. Don't get me wrong, the engagement with the narrative wasn't necessarily positive. But there was something about the film that scratched an itch that I couldn't truly place - till I eventually singled it out.

Road House - at least the 2024 version starring Jake Gyllenhaal and Conor McGregor - seemed so inherently Bollywood in its unfolding that I had to take a beat.

Jake's Elwood Dalton, a troubled ex-UFC fighter who takes on the role of head bouncer at a rowdy roadhouse may as well have been replaced by any iteration of Salman Khan's invincible protagonists and the film would remain unchanged. Similarly, Conor McGregor, making his feature film debut as the psychotic enforcer Knox, came across as the perfect Bollywood villain. None of this is a compliment to either Road House or Bollywood.

What's Sallu bhai got to do with it?

Now, admittedly, my understanding of cinema, as a whole, is pretty limited. Growing up, my visual diet consisted solely of anything India had to offer, which limited my palette quite a bit. No one's handing out medals for this, but perhaps that is why Road House seemed familiar to me, reminding me of Kisi Ka Bhai Kisi Ki Jaan in a parallel universe.

Make no mistake, the film isn't a copy of a Bollywood action flick. That doesn't absolve it of its all-too-generous usage of characters that remind one of the same. Jake's stone-faced, stoic, too-cautious-for-love, troubled Elwood is a kindred spirit to any number of characters Salman has essayed in the past few years. He can survive a knife to his guts - no problem. In fact, he can land a job while tending to his wound. Men quiver when he takes off his shirt and all he has to offer in return is a nonchalant shrug.

As the bouncer of the roadhouse ironically and oh-so-cleverly named Road House, who gets paid handsomely, all we really see in montages is him sipping on drinks while he trains others to do his work. He deals with confrontation in a manner far too similar to Salman's Bhaijaan from Kisi Ka Bhai Kisi Ki Jaan - through the wondrous power of conversation and reflection. When that fails, he unleashes hell in a manner befitting of a Marvel superhero - the kind that doesn't care about collateral damage. Indeed, there is very little of the Road House left when he is through with Conor.

The Conor factor

What do Conor's Knox and Crime Master Gogo have in common? Honestly, not much, other than their ability to be so absurdly comical that you cannot take them seriously. In the case of the latter, this is intentional. In the case of the former, one can only assume the director was far too petrified to instruct a drug-laden UFC fighter to do anything other than be himself on camera.

Knox takes turns being silly, goofy, funny, and maniacal. What he fails to be, with a physique like Conor's and his unhinged sense of being, is intimidating. As far as villains go, he is the most perplexing. One watches Conor be Conor on the big screen, and it takes a while to realise that you're not watching him trash-talk his opponent live, you're watching him play a character. Is it possible that he was so delirious that the lines blurred for him? Who knows. But the many memes birthed due to his awkward mannerisms are a gift that keeps on giving. No complaints there.

What else?

There's a lot that goes on in the film, but it's so incredibly forgettable that, well, it's not really worth a mention. True to Bollywood fashion, the "love interest," though she saves the hero's life, barely has any screen time. There's a crocodile thrown into the mix somewhere too that takes down a bad guy - not because it's the protagonist's friend, but because - well, it's a crocodile. Add a couple of double-crosses and trigger points to the plot and you eventually make it past the two-hour run-time which could significantly be cut down.

Is Road House meant to be consumed seriously? A few weeks down the road, I'm still confused. I watched it with the same level of seriousness I'd be willing to offer a Sallu bhai film. Depending on where you lie on the spectrum in terms of being a fan, do what you will with this information.

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