Quarantine has hit all of us real hard. While many of us have now adapted to the new normal, it still difficult to go about our lives without knowing for certain when we’d be able to hug our best friend next or if we can be there in person for our loved one who is grieving.
While it’s great to be self-sufficient and not rely on others when we face any inconvenience, it’s important to know who your people are. People who we know will always be by our side, who will love, respect and be honest with us about things we don’t want to accept and face.
Having a healthy support system helps improve the quality of our life and provide a pillar of strength and guidance. The people who are a part of our support system don’t necessarily have to be someone who we’re related to by blood. They can be your partner, your best friend, your councillor, your mentor.
When we confide in someone who is a part of our support system, they offer us guidance, support, acknowledgement of emotions, thoughts and feelings we are dealing with and help us in reaching a decision (they will never make the decision for us). When we speak about a healthy support system we mean people who will help you and support you while you cope with the difficult situations in your life. They don’t carry that burden for you, they don’t tell you exactly what to do. They guide you, suggest you, tell you what the right approach is but regardless of whatever you decide they still respect and love you. The dynamic is often a healthy one with no co-dependency- which is key. As tough as it may be to deal with hurt, anger, disappointment on your own, we must realise they are a human with their own set of thoughts, feelings, emotions, responsibilities, problems and are not there to just attend to us. Support comes in many forms, and it is helpful to have a variety of different resources to lean on.
When you have a healthy support system, you learn to become self-sufficient and you start trusting yourself more. You become confident in the decisions you make because you have a team or just one person who understands you and offers support in whatever way they can.
You may want to make a list and determine who is healthy and positive and who is not. You may want to limit contact with the negative people in your life. Negative people can drain your energy and bring you down. Watch for these types of people who may be negative: blamers, liars, and those who put you down. Your time and energy need to be invested on those who make you feel good about yourself.