There’s no easy way to put it- break-ups suck. And being in quarantine doesn’t make the situation any easier. While we are all stuck in an endless cycle of doing the same thing on repeat, break-ups are a whole lot harder to deal with especially during quarantine. You can’t go to see your friends to divert your mind or do things that make you feel better. You’re stuck at home with very limited options.
While this is emotionally, mentally and physically taxing it can also help you learn how to be independent and not rely on a significant other to make you feel better. Once you realise you’re all that you’ve got and you are your own knight in shining armour it becomes easier. It’s challenging but doable. And so we put together some healthy ways to deal with a break-up during lockdown, as compiled by Huffpost.
Acknowledge it’s over
The first and most important thing to do is to acknowledge when it’s over. It’s natural to think about what you could have said or should have done but there is no productive end result. You’ll only go down a rabbit hole full of fear, anxiety and darkness. Instead accept that it’s over and that you will get over it eventually. Be kind and patient with yourself, you’re doing the best you can. Even if this takes a few slip ups before you actually acknowledge the end, that’s okay. It’s only human to go after things our heart truly wants but it is not healthy to mourn or sulk in your regrets for too long. Once you’ve accepted the end of your relationship you can get to the different stages of grief. You’ll go through a series of mixed emotions so be kind and compassionate with yourself.
Divert your attention to work and other healthy activities
Since we are all home bound these days, you can’t meet your friends for coffee and cry your heart out or go to watch a movie to distract yourself. What you can do is shift your focus. Just because you’re focusing on other healthy activities doesn’t mean you’re ignoring what you’re dealing with. Instead, you’re trying to divert your energy by doing something productive with a rewarding end result. Get a jump start on the project you need to start working on from next week, or put in extra hours and make yourself better at your job. Read and learn ways to improve and do better. You can also try to redecorate your room, have a spring clear out, and maybe get rid of the things that remind you of your ex.
Stay in touch with your support system
While we may not be able to see our friends and family in person that doesn’t mean they are not there for us otherwise. Set up a group chat with your close friends and share what you’re going through. Keep them in loop so they know what’s going on. Not only does sharing your burden give you a sense of relief, it also helps with acknowledging the fact that it’s over. Our friends and family often give us an insight over things that we were blindsided to. Perhaps they might be able to give us some sound advice also.
Pen down your thoughts
When we are confined to our homes, it becomes difficult to measure our growth. Using a journal to pen down your thoughts can be a great way of getting things off your chest and also keeping track of your thoughts, feelings and emotions. As time goes on, you’ll feel that the burden of the break-up will ease and writing a journal will also enable you to go back and track the changes in your emotions and feelings. You’ll see a huge difference in the way you wrote at the time of the break up, and how your writing has evolved with time.
Make a list of pros and cons
We all get tempted to reach out to our exes. It’s natural. Especially nowadays when it’s hard to be alone. You want someone to talk to, to check up on you. But it doesn’t have to be your ex. The relationship ended for a reason and every time you feel the urge to send a text, pull out your list of pros and cons. Read it over and over again and keep reassuring yourself why this breakup is for the better.
Take this as a blessing in disguise. When you’ve hit rock bottom and you have nobody except virtual support by your friends and family you learn and grow. It is vital to stay kind and patient with yourself. Be more attentive to your family members (if you live with them), participate in healthy activities. Now would be a good time to try out new things. Always wanted to perfect your pasta recipe? Get to it. Don’t feel productive and just want to drown your sorrows in a tub of ice cream, take a day off work and do it. Do whatever it takes to heal yourself in a healthy manner. Acceptance is just the beginning. It’s okay if you feel alone or heart broken, it’s okay if you cry yourself to sleep. It’s a loss but see the silver lining. You are free to live your life whatever way you like.