The art of disagreement

Learning to accept other’s dissenting views in a good spirit

When we accept that diversity of views is an intrinsic instinct of human psyche, why don’t we accept other’s dissenting views in a good spirit, instead of mocking and ridiculing one another?

Handling disagreement amicably is an art that is unfortunately diminishing by the day. The New York Times columnist Bret Stephens highlighted the issue aptly in his lecture — The dying art of disagreement — delivered in Sydney, Australia. “Our disagreements may frequently hoarse our voices, but they rarely sharpen our thinking, much less change our minds.

His wonderment should wonder us too. Don’t we often witness how during political discussions on TV when a loyalist of one political party argues a point, his counterpart from the other party puts up a sneering smile.

Political views aside, during day-to-day discussions among friends and office associates, we tend to impose our views on others with finality. When opposed, faces turn red and voices grow louder. Social media forums suffer the most by the fading civility. Foul mouthing to the extent of extreme impoliteness has become more of a norm than an exception. At least in this realm, there’s no gender discrimination since both males and females are treated equally. Some political parties have established media cells whose only duty it seems is to counter opposing views and smear the image of political opponents.

It raises another question. Were we always an intolerant nation? Not so. It’s during the last few years that frustration culminating in anger has become our hallmark. The level of discussion among many who apparently look educated is least enlightening. Besides, a general sense of anxiety seems to overwhelm everyone. Where have all the men and women with happy faces disappeared?

A serious problem arises when we allow disagreement to grow into resentment or outright acrimony. Enlarge the trend to a larger scale and you see its overall impact on society. Scour the daily newspapers, especially Urdu newspapers read by the masses, and you read harrowing details of murders and mayhem taking place over minor issues. Sometimes gory incidents of shootout between litigants occur outside courts where the litigants are supposed to get justice. It’s a display of vengeance and animosity taken to its limits. In the prevailing scenario, human life seems to have lost its value.

Consider the despicable crime of killing for honour. Such crimes are more frequent in culturally conservative regions in the country. The common feature these areas share is a low level of literacy. Instead of settling disputes by either reconciling or parting ways peacefully, the contenders take the law into their own hands and go on a killing spree. Women are the worst sufferers.

The primary reason of failure to manage disagreements sensibly is due to lack of liberal education. It is said that for liberal democracy to sustain, it needs liberally educated people. Our universities routinely dish out degrees and confer PhDs but do such qualifications equip the recipients with meaningful education. For instance, the lawyers are supposedly an educated segment of society. Don’t they often take law into their own hands and resort to rowdyism to press for their demands? They brazenly violate the very law that they’re expected to uphold. One often wonders how democracy functions efficiently in other countries but remains wanting in our dear land.

Concluding his lecture, Stephens emphasised the role that ‘editors and especially the publishers could play in ways that might improve the state of public discussion rather than just reflect and accelerate its decline’. Media both electronic and print have an onerous job at hand to educate the public by enumerating the virtues of reason, rationalism, and civility than succumbing to raw emotions. So let’s learn to smile and say politely — we agree to disagree.

Published in The Express Tribune, July 7^th, 2019.

Like Opinion & Editorial on Facebook, follow @ETOpEd on Twitter to receive all updates on all our daily pieces.