Ask Asad: I'm a confident guy but stammer during job interviews. Please help!

This is quite shocking because I only stammer when the interview talk makes me excited or nervous


Asad Shafi December 11, 2017

Dear Asad,

I am a well-educated person with a good personality but whenever I go for job interviews, I get really nervous. My problem is, I start stammering during interviews. This is quite shocking for me because I normally never stammer at all. It only happens during interview talks when I get excited and nervous. Please help me.

A stammering person

 

Dear stammering person,

A lot of people stammer when they are nervous. Stammering during an interview is also common. It is natural that you would feel more nervous when you talk to strangers during interviews. The reason is that there is usually a lot riding on the outcome of the interview for the interviewee. It can also be difficult being confident going into an interview, knowing that there may be several applicants for the same position. Possessing self-assurance is key if you want to help make yourself stand out from the crowd.

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Know that you are qualified

Back when you submitted your resume, at least one, if not several, employees in HR looked over your resume and saw potential in the listed qualities. Hiring managers usually receive dozens if not hundreds of resumes for positions, so if you have been selected for the opportunity for the interview, realise that someone already believes in you.

Mirror practice

Mirror practice helps you in realising your flaws and correcting them before your main day. It also gives you the confidence to succeed in your interview.

Get help from others

Do not prepare for a job interview by yourself. Find a friend who is also preparing for an interview. Interview each other so that you get comfortable with the verbal and social aspects of it.

Engage in positive self-talk

Tell yourself that you are the best candidate for the job, and tell yourself why, like citing your years of experience in the field or your willingness to work hard. By focusing on the positives and refusing to give into the negatives, you can give yourself a genuine confidence boost that only you can.

Tip: Write down a list of positive traits about yourself. Ask friends, fellow peers from university, etc. what qualities they admire about you as a person and a worker.

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Research interview questions

Although you cannot know for sure what questions you will be asked during an interview, you can take a guess. There are numerous websites that have compiled the top 10 all the way up to the top 100 questions asked in interviews. You can familiarise yourself with questions such as "Why do you want to work for us," and "What is your greatest weakness," instead of being blindsided by them. Some websites will even give you tips and concrete examples of how you can try answering them.

Prepare and rehearse your answers

Once you have in mind the questions you might be asked, you can start formulating answers that are unique to your individual experience. Put them in writing to help yourself make your thoughts concrete and succinct. Practice saying them aloud so that you can iron out lengthy pauses, filler words and awkward phrasing.

Exercise to get rid of excess energy

Go for a run in the morning or walk around the building before your interview. Letting go of as much nervous energy as you can, will help you with your anxiety. This should also allow you to manage the stammering.

Play power music

On the drive to your interview, listen to music that makes you feel inspired or confident. It is difficult to feel nervous when there is an upbeat tune with positive lyrics playing in the background. It will make the trip more fun and help you to get rid of the negative, nervous attitude that understandably can crop up during the job hunting process. It may be especially helpful to sing along.

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Alternatively, listen to inspirational quotes or watch funny videos – do anything that will help you to relax and feel more upbeat before going in.

Try some breathing exercises

A lot of nervous energy comes from feeling like a situation is out of our control. So finding something that you can easily control can be very soothing. Breathing is one such thing; by focusing on the act of breathing and controlling exactly how you want it done, you can take your busy mind off of your other stresses and start to relax.

Take a deep, slow breath through your nose, and release it slowly through your mouth. Repeat this action at least three times, if not more, while trying to centre and calm your thoughts.

Tip: Because this action is not very noticeable, you can actually use it during your interview if you start to feel anxious again.

Relax when speaking

Taking your time and saying what you want to say can help you reduce your stammering. Give yourself plenty of time when speaking and try to remain as calm as you can. Think of what you have to say before you say it and lay out your next sentence in your head. You may speak slower but it will help with stammering. Do not always change your words or what you want to say. Take your time and say the words that you want to use. Say them at your own pace. Forcing words can make them more difficult to say.

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Drink water

Sip some water right before you begin speaking. Bring a water bottle along with you just in case no one gives you water. Getting hydrated will keep your voice clear rather than scratchy and dry.

Embrace your power stance

This is important whether you are standing or sitting. Place your feet about shoulder-width apart. Keep your feet flat on the ground, and do not rock, sway, or shift your weight from side to side. This is your power stance. Embrace it.

Get good, open posture

Having slumped shoulders and bad posture will actually make it harder for you to breathe deeply. This means that it will be even harder for you to speak clearly and without stammering.

Think of it as practice

Remember that whether or not you succeed in getting an offer for this job, you have an opportunity to practice here. If you do not get things perfect, you have been given an opportunity to see what works and what does not and thus refine your presentation. It is not a life or death matter, and especially if you live in a big city, there will be more opportunities. If it does not work out, you have not failed, you have simply been given another opportunity.

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Do not let mistakes get you down

Everyone makes mistakes. No one is going to judge you if you slip or stumble over a word, or if you start to stammer. It may actually make people relate to you because they have been there. Remind yourself that everyone interviewing you has been in your position, and keep on going.

Work with cognitive behavioural therapist

By applying the techniques and practices of cognitive behavioural therapy, a person like you – who only stammers during interviews – can learn to handle mental states which are responsible for your stammering. An added benefit of this therapy is that it can help reduce anxiety, stress or self-esteem issues that may have arisen from the stammering.

You might not be perfect at first, but you will inevitably improve over time. Be confident and have faith in yourself.

All the best!

Asad

 

Asad is a counsellor, life coach, inspirational speaker and a personal-development expert. He advises on social, personal and emotional issues. You can send him your questions for this weekly column at advice@tribune.com.pk with “Ask Asad” mentioned in the subject line and provide as many details as possible.

Note: The opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of The Express Tribune.

COMMENTS (1)

Fataz | 6 years ago | Reply I also have same problem. Breathing exercise works and also try to keep your jaws relax. May it help you
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