I was broken after divorce and turned to Islam for healing: Noor Bukhari

Former actor Noor Bukhari open up on her personal hardships and journey towards religion and spirituality

KARACHI: Film stars are known to do just about anything to look good. From extensive exercising to dramatic transformations for their on-screen characters, some actors are very committed to their craft and willing to alter their appearance whenever a role calls for it.

However, for actor - or should we say former actor? – Noor Bukhari, the transformation has been in real life. In the search for contentment post her fourth divorce, she recently said her goodbyes to the showbiz industry and decided to follow another path: religion.

Noor Bukhari files for divorce from husband Wali Hamid Ali Khan

In an exclusive interview with The Express Tribune, the Ishq Positive star spoke about this great change in her life, how it came about and exactly what has changed within her.

PHOTO: PUBLICITY

ET: Let’s start with your career progression… how did you begin working in movies?

Noor Bukhari (NB): I actually started my career as a child star. It was always my dream to become an actor and my family supported me in every way. I landed my first film Mujhe Chand Chahiye at the age of 14, which was directed by Shaan so it was him who introduced me to the movies. Since then, I’ve managed to get experience in acting, directing and even producing – everything I always wanted to do.

Noor Bukhari quits showbiz, says she's a changed woman in hijab

ET: What/who inspired you to wear the hijab and move towards religion?

NB: Everything went as per Allah’s wish. In our society, there is a typical male interest. I was upset and dejected following the turbulent end of my marriage. I was devastated and going through extreme ordeal. As things started to get rough, I turned to religion. I wasn’t asked or forced to transform into a ‘new Noor;’ it just sort of happened.

My divorce was a very painful episode of my life, where I had to bear the trauma alone. The irony is, no one tried to understand what I was going through. I was not at all at peace so I met with a female murshid (religious teacher) and started praying.

I have always been a practicing Muslim and spirituality is something I constantly followed. Now, it is healing my wounds that were caused by my failed marriage.

PHOTO: PUBLICITY

ET: Did your ‘murshid’ convince you to cover your head too?

NB: Nobody forced me to do anything; I felt like doing it myself. I started covering my head last Ramadhan and didn’t take it off after that. Following a meeting with my murshid, I finally realised that I don’t want to chase all the glitter and glam anymore.

Since then, I feel like a weight has been lifted off my chest, as though something heavy inside my heart has finally gone and I feel utterly peaceful. I then told my family about my plans of wearing the hijab and quitting showbiz. After that, I disassociated myself from most of my projects, even the ones that had been going on then.

ET: Are you happy with this mega-change that you have brought into your life? 

NB: I belong to a family where many of the women folk wear the hijab and abaya. So, it was nothing new for me. I wasn’t able to perform Hajj and that’s something I always regret. Although I was practicing the other bases of Islam, I could still sense that something was missing in my life which I have now found by covering myself.

ET: What has been the biggest change in your life then?  

By the grace of Allah, I am finally at peace now. I don't stay miserable like I used to before turning to religion. I am quite busy with learning the Quran and offering my prayers. I am truly confident that this path will turn out to be a great source of happiness for me and am happy to have found the true meaning of life.

ET: How difficult was it for you to adjust to this new life? Is there a possibility of going back?

NB: I was fairly religious even before this change anyway but I feel like covering myself was really needed because it was always inside my heart. I use to tell my family ‘I will change my ways someday. I will have to, because it comes from my heart.’

I wanted to start with the head scarf a long time ago but I wasn’t ready then. I even thought of quitting the industry many, many times but that wasn’t possible because of my financial responsibilities. I still regret not making this change earlier but I’m happy to say that I can carry this new personality forever… There’s no turning back from it now.

PHOTO: PUBLICITY

ET: What are your plans in terms of acting?

NB: Acting is much more than taking a role. It is like pretending to be someone else that may be completely different to whom you are. Actors are required to transform into a new person and I see as a deliberate lie. There is no room for lies in Islam. It collides with the religious code of truth and clarity. So how can I continue doing something that counteracts my belief?

I am a regular tax payer, responsible citizen of this country: Noor Bukhari

ET:  Tell us about a day in the life of Noor Bukhari?

NB: I now have a different pattern of life. My average day involves reading the Quran with its translation. People usually say that one should offer namaz and read the Quran in Arabic.

People make our religion seem so complicated. However, Islam is pretty simple. One should read the Quran with Urdu or English translation to understand the guidelines of life. This way, we can truly know and understand it in its essence. I want to really understand it. I’m reading it with translation so I can lead my life as per its teachings.

I have dedicated a big part of my day to reading the Quran. Other than that, I still host morning shows and of course, spend time with my daughter.

PHOTO: FILE

ET: How will you react if your daughter expresses a desire to take up acting as a career?

NB: I won’t allow her to enter the showbiz! I’m sure her father won’t be happy about it either. I want her to understand Islam once she grows up. As a mother, it is my earnest desire to become a role model for my daughter. I hope she practices deen the way I am doing today.

Noor has been able to hang on to her admirers by way of social media interactions where she shares her religious experiences. She wants women to preserve their dignity and reject social evils with the great armor; the hijab.

Have something to add to the story? Share it in the comments below.