6 things you should never (ever) say to a co-worker

President Donald Trump might have been trying to pay a compliment when he told French First Lady Brigitte Macron, “You’re in such good shape. She’s in such good physical shape. Beautiful.” But it was seen as an objectification of the French President’s wife by many people on social media. The president made his remark while on the job and, had he made that comment in a more typical workplace, experts say he would likely have been marched up to the human resources department.



Compiled from Market Watch, here is a list of things not to say to colleagues or employees.

1. ‘You’re having a ‘blonde’ moment!’

“It’s just a joke” just doesn’t cut it. “There are a number of cases which focus on the off-handed comments made in the workplace,” Robert Gregg, a lawyer with Boardman & Clark in Madison, Wisconsin, writes on his blog. “These comments have, in fact, come back as evidence of discriminatory intent or harassment by a manager. Almost all harassers in such cases claim that they were just joking.” Gregg cites a manager who made jokes like “you’re being a blonde again.” Be respectful and lose that joke already!

2. ‘Are you going to have more kids?’

Even if this exchange happened between a female manager and her direct report, it could be interpreted as a judgment on taking maternity leave. For some people, that might sound overly cautious, but perhaps not when seen in a larger context. “Do you have kids” has long been used as code for determining an employee’s marital status and that should not be acceptable.



3. ‘ You’re only taking the elevator one floor?’

David, a New York-based marketing executive, said he was once asked this question by a colleague. What his colleague didn’t know was that he had a neurological disorder that attacked his body’s peripheral nervous system that prevented him from walking up even one flight of stairs. Health issues are often unseen. “There are all sorts of disabilities and illnesses that are invisible to people,” he says. An employee could have anything from bad joints to heart disease or circulation problems.

4. ‘You seem down — are you depressed?’

A better question if you are concerned about a co-worker: “What can I do to help?” Discrimination based on mental health, which includes depression is severely frowned upon in most workplaces. It’s also a private matter and an increasingly important one in the workplace. So it’s better to steer clear of intrusion altogether. Just be kind to them instead of prying.

5. ‘Here’s some free dating advice’

Sexual harassment can also come in the form of over-sharing. Assume your co-workers don’t want advice on their personal life, unless they ask for it, and even then tread very carefully if they do. Abby, who works in a college admissions department, once had a director who was liable to say just about anything. “She once told me to be careful about dating married men, because she dated a married man. I replied, ‘Thanks for the tip,’ ran out of her office and called my mom.” If you’re not besties, you have no right to cross that line.



6. ‘Should you really be eating that?’

Sorcha Loughrey, an Irish makeup artist attributes such thoughtless comments to a lack of both managerial training and emotional intelligence. Such remarks, she says, can be damaging to a young person’s confidence, especially early in a career. She, however, is not so easily flummoxed. What any one eats or drinks shouldn’t be your business. Period.

Have something to add to the story? Share it in the comments below.