Pakistan

Just another open letter to feminists

Women have issues that men don’t and men have hitches that women don’t

Umnia Shahid May 04, 2016

First things first — I want to acknowledge your efforts. Yes, I do. Because your version of modern feminism has made me sympathise with men and stand up for their rights so much more than I ever did before. Thanks, modern feminism. You’re performing one terrific service.

Let’s clarify something once and for all — women have issues that men don’t and men have hitches that women don’t because women are dissimilar to men and men are completely unlike women. Yes, that’s about it. I’m done. Half of you feminists can go home now. I unscrambled the dilemma.

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For those of you who are still not swayed by my argument, I now bombard you with a couple of questions: did you know that hundreds of Third World boys are viciously murdered on a daily basis but all everyone (including media and feminazis) talk about are the girls who are kidnapped or tortured. Am I suggesting that women’s issues should be ignored? Absolutely not! My point here is — both men and women’s issues need consideration and deliberation.

Did you know that Third World boys make up possibly more than half of all sexually exploited children but we’ll never know for sure because feminism makes certain that most statistics and studies conducted are about girls!

Did you know that a bulky chunk of Third World Boys live their lives enveloped in slave labour and under appallingly inhuman conditions but all anyone ever hears about is the much smaller percentage of girls toiling in sweat shops. I’m not implying that girls don’t need help — I’m inferring that boys require aid and attention too. Just as much. Boys can be oppressed as much as girls — so why separate and differentiate between their miseries?

In my opinion, feminism shames women. Feminism makes women weak.

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Dear feminists, embed in your mind that not everyone wants to make the same lifestyle choices as you. Not everyone has the same constitutional views as you. And this may surprise you, but many women who confine themselves to societal norms don’t believe they’re oppressed at all. Stop implying that women need your help just because they’re the weaker gender. You couldn’t be more erroneous.

And assuming that women are the “needier and feebler” gender is extremely immature. In summary, women can think for themselves, as can men. You aren’t the boss of mindsets and it’s not up to you to decide which gender needs more reflection. Fact is, your own mindset is in need of an overhaul. Your movement couldn’t be more flawed — and that’s still an understatement.

Published in The Express Tribune, May 4^th, 2016.

COMMENTS (36)

UTJ | 8 years ago | Reply Somebody please inform the author with the definition of feminismn and the complex politics it addresses. This is so basic.

Amna Hassan | 8 years ago | Reply Feminism believes in EQUAL rights for men and women. Feminists have explicitly stated that women are not weaker, and that men don't have to be stronger all the time. In fact, feminism is the movement that also wants society to stop having unrealistic expectations from men because it is unhealthy for MEN to always be macho, robotic, heroic figures. This writer has clearly never read about feminism, but is taking the actions of extremists in the feminist movement as indications of what the whole movement is about. Funnily enough, I'm pretty sure that if someone did that to Muslims i.e. (take the Taliban to represent all Muslims), she would blow her lid. You can vote, get an education, write articles, choose to stay at home or work, all because of feminism. Don't disrespect the women who paved the way for you to be where you are by reducing them to the angry-feminist-stereotype. Don't disrespect modern feminists by reducing all of them to the angry-feminist-stereotype. The Tribune needs to at least fact check basic definitions before publishing blogs. Writing a "blog" doesn't mean you have license to make things up.

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Arshmah | 8 years ago | Reply Its actually wonderful to see people debating over an article. Both the article and commentators who stand up for equality, and against all sorts of injustice. GREAT. But what isnt so great is that all of us speak more than we do. I'd rather not speak about equality of genders. I'd rather act it out. Debates? you can post this article worldwide and the entire population that has the time and luxury and "minds" will engage first hand in it, trying to prove their point. But kudos to the ones who will avoid the debate and actually go on help the ones suffering. Am I saying that awareness through voice isnt important? no. Perhaps, what i mean is, we speak more than we do. You dont need to join an orginsation to stand up for human rights. Just like you dont need to be a journalist or columnist to speak on such issues. Isn't it time we prove our beliefs through actions? because the ones who are suffering dont care about your views on feminism all that much. As disputed as these comments were^ they all, ALL believed in equality of humans and their rights, despite the differences. Why cant we set aside our disputes and work together for ths problem? feminist or not. Enough words i guess. Actions please. PRIORITIES. I dont care if you agree on my perspective regarding feminism or even on this comment. As long as we both stand up against injustice, we can fight as one. Thats a binding factors greater than the disputing factors. Thank you.

Unknown | 8 years ago | Reply @Aneeza: Their right to vote, property, custody etc, which were naturally awarded to males, were not thought of as essential for women. THIS is why feminism starts with FEM. Ohh wait but feminists have problem with every word which has "man", why should man except the word "fem" to represent everyone? It certainly is a discriminatory word towards man!!

Xyz | 8 years ago | Reply In what way is feminism against protection of children or prevention of abuse. Today the fact that you have education, are able to openly air your views, have a right to vote... Is all a result of feminism. And yet even today, women are being murdered for making their own marriage choices, they are being shamed for being rape victims, they are being brutalized as sex slaves. Half the time the religious leaders are discussing women's dresses and their puberty.... And you think these are secondary issues? You talk about child abuse, child slavery and exploitation and in none of these issues I see a differentiation being made based on the child's gender. The abuse of boys is an issue that has been brought up numerous times, issue of child labor is always discussed in gender neutral terms. People comment that feminists ask for special rights - what are those special rights that women have asked for? And what special rights have been given to them?

Anti Feminist | 8 years ago | Reply Extreme form of Feminism is equal to terrorism.FEMINISM IS EGOISTIC.

asma mahmood | 8 years ago | Reply @Anum: thanks ..this is such an utter garbage that I am shocked to read this..

Usman | 8 years ago | Reply Feminism unfortunately is not what it once were. The author seems to be ignorant of the faces that represent modern feminism and its ideology. Go on and google "Anita Sarkeesian". Its not about "equal rights" it has never been, it's about "special rights" for women.

Mustafa | 8 years ago | Reply it hurts doesn't it..?? being snitched out by one of your own.. Lol...All the ladies are having a hard time acknowledging that.

Saba | 8 years ago | Reply I think you need to catch up on modern feminism. If that's too hard the least you can do is check out the HeForShe campaign bu UN Women. May give you some perspective.

Adnan | 8 years ago | Reply

’, hence had to fight for their rights.

By fighting with men or abusing them?

Aneeza | 8 years ago | Reply Wow. What a brilliant piece of writing. All the people who says “Feminism” means men and women are equal, first look at the word “Feminism” why cant it be “Humanism”? Feminism means equality between the sexes. The reason it starts with 'fem' is because WOMEN were always termed a 'weaker sex', hence had to fight for their rights. Their right to vote, property, custody etc, which were naturally awarded to males, were not thought of as essential for women. THIS is why feminism starts with FEM.

Adnan | 8 years ago | Reply Ironically women who talk about equal rights are those who either are single or got divorced because they did not like the idea of being equal while living with men. They wanted to dominate.

Unknown | 8 years ago | Reply Wow. What a brilliant piece of writing. All the people who says "Feminism" means men and women are equal, first look at the word "Feminism" why cant it be "Humanism"?

Syedah | 8 years ago | Reply I agree with the author that the issues facing both men and women should be equally highlighted. This sentence "but many women who confine themselves to societal norms don’t believe they’re oppressed at all", however is wierd. The idea of a woman confining herself to societal norms itself imply that the societal norms force her to lower her aspirations, limit her movement. A woman is totally justified in deciding that she wants to adhere to the societal norms and not be a rebel, which most women would rationally decide. Feminism is not against those women but against the setting of rigid societal norms which do not allow women and men both to decide and lay out the path of their lives as they wish.

Zafar Zulqarnain Sahi | 8 years ago | Reply Funny how so many who chose to bash the writer for expressing her views, had to first google "feminism" and then reproduce what they just discovered. The one small mistake by the writer was not clarifying that she mainly targeted people who claim to be proud feminists yet do not exactly know what feminism is all about. Brave piece, as many shy away owing to the inevitable wrath of pseudos.

Noelle | 8 years ago | Reply This is an article written to straw feminists. Caring about a healthy masculinity and the plight of boys and men worldwide isn't an anti-feminist stance. I'm a feminist, and this article is written to someone that has been constructed based on stereotypes and misinformation.

Junaid | 8 years ago | Reply What is wrong with this article? Why everyone is after the writer? She has cleared in the article before that she is not against anyone coz she knew these type of comments she will get after posting this article. She felt to write about what she saw and I am with her and in support of equality.

Adnan | 8 years ago | Reply Hahah, short and sweet :-)

Shahrukh | 8 years ago | Reply @UmerBurney, stop thinking about it in terms of stereotyped "modern white feminism". Our country has many gulfs to cross before one can reasonably make the argument that feminism has turned into some " bad thing" that "goes too far". Let women achieve a state of being that is relatively devoid of violence, indignity and unfairness before you dismiss the movements that seek to achieve such a state.

Anum | 8 years ago | Reply Is this a joke? What ignorant garbage.

Ayesha | 8 years ago | Reply Couldn't agree more with the author. Feminism puts women on the defensive and takes them to be weak beings that have to be protected. In this day and age, women are as strong or as powerful as men and only a small lot of misguided females with 'gender insecurity' refuse to see that. This is the reason why feminism has always been a fringe movement and will continue to be so. If this small lot really cared about equality, they would call it gender equality, not feminism.

Shue | 8 years ago | Reply Disappointed in such an emotional piece of journalism. Seems like the author had a fight with someone and decided to vent out on the laptop ! Her definition of feminism is misplaced and her supporting equality is actually support of feminism not the other way round! Baffled at the level of ignorance

Kashif | 8 years ago | Reply The author is not saying that feminism is about more rights for women than men. Why she is being bashed for that?

Umer Burney | 8 years ago | Reply To all those people who're suggesting the writer to gain knowledge about feminism, well, you also need to gain knowledge about it with respect to practical implications and dilemmas. The writer has made her point which hits right on the spot. Feminism was once an acceptable thing but what's happening nowadays in the name of feminism makes me lose my mind. Kudos to the writer for this brave effort.

Fahad | 8 years ago | Reply For anyone who is swayed by the nonsensical and naive understanding of the subject nature portrayed by this (self proclaimed brilliant) author, please read about the kinds of feminism that there are, why there is an inequality in the way genders are treated and origins of patriarchy within cultures, norms and language. Its just a starting point to unravel the gross simplification of a problem we all are surrounded with.

Feminist | 8 years ago | Reply Dear writer, Did you know that columnists around the world research on a subject before writing about it. May be you should try that. Did you know that that it was the feminists that brought to attention that men getting raped and molested is a problem. Because until recently the FBI did not recognize these sexual assaults. In short, "Fact is, your own mindset is in need of an overhaul. Your (interpretation of feminism) couldn't me more wrong- and that's still an understatement."

safa | 8 years ago | Reply it is so stupid that it doesn't even warrant a response

O | 8 years ago | Reply I am sorry but this is one of the worst pieces on this subject I've ever read. This newspaper has outdone itself.

Shiza Nisar | 8 years ago | Reply Dear writer, Feminism is to define, establish, and achieve 'equal' political, economic, personal, and social rights for women. This includes seeking to establish 'equal' opportunities for women in education and employment. Feminists typically advocate or support the rights and 'equality' of women. It never a compromise on the rights of either gender. Probably you're confusing the broad concepts of child labour and child abuse with feminism. You keep refeing to the third world where plight of women remains unheard and they are treated as lesser humans. Such third world nations need strong societal changes to uplift the status of women.

nabila Cowasjee | 8 years ago | Reply The fact that you can write and publish this is due to the feminist movement. Any woman who is operating in a non oppressed state, like yourself is a feminist. Your pre-conceived millenial conception of what a feminist is and isn't, is the "immature" thing at large. You appear to mistakenly think that being a feminist means you are a man or boy basher. In this you are outrageously wrong and I'll say it again.. immature. No woman who fights for her rights does so without taking into deep consideration the welfare of everyone and that includes men, boys, animals and even plants. Find me a true feminist who does not want to spread justice and love for ALL. In the future I feel that you would be wise to read some history, educate yourself on a wider scale on the nature of feminist.

MH | 8 years ago | Reply Um really? Looks like you need to read up on what feminism is all about. Here, I Googled the definition for you: the advocacy of women's rights on the ground of the equality of the sexes. Who said anything about women being the weaker gender?

Uns Mufti | 8 years ago | Reply Good Shot!

Akhwandk | 8 years ago | Reply The dictionary defined feminism as the belief that men and women should have equal rights. As Feminists the word man and women doesn't exist in our dictionary because we think in terms of people. We fight for the rights of oppressed people any and everywhere or at least we try to since we have backlash and harassment everywhere we go. So how is this for an idea instead of criticizing people who actually are doing stuff, you actually get up from infront of your computer and you help the areas we are lacking in so that moving together we can form a better society

Mehrbano Raja | 8 years ago | Reply Feminism is the belief that men and women are equal. It doesnt deny the rights of men. What is wrong this the author and by virtue, what is wrong with this newspaper?

Xee | 8 years ago | Reply Spot on!

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