Australian-born Assange edged out God, Denmark's Princess Mary and Prime Minister Julia Gillard to take Australian lads' title Zoo Weekly's dubious award for promising to dump 250,000 secret memos on WikiLeaks.
"Dress it up any way you like but the WikiLeaks founder broke that famous rule 'What goes in the memo stays in the memo'," Zoo wrote.
"Don't expect any buck's night invites anytime soon Jules."
Assange, 39, is on bail in Britain awaiting an extradition hearing. He is wanted in Sweden for questioning on sexual assault allegations.
The former hacker has released classified documents about the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan and from US diplomats stationed around the world, and insists the Swedish claims are politically motivated.
The irreverent Zoo article gave God runners-up honours after he "flooded two-thirds of Queensland" and put Denmark's royal daughter -- once an Australian advertising executive -- in third place for her newfound Danish accent.
Gillard and her predecessor Kevin Rudd rounded out the top five for the dramatic Labor Party coup that felled Rudd and saw his deputy take the top job.
"The only thing more un-Australian than stabbing a mate in the back is stabbing a mate in the back to get a promotion," the magazine said of Gillard.
But Rudd was labelled a "giant wuss" for crying during his farewell speech, a "bloody un-Australian" act, Zoo said, "especially in front of your missus".
Politicians, reality television stars and sportsmen made a strong showing in the list, including former cricketer Shane Warne, who was derided for delivering a "pants-googly" to Liz Hurley instead of saving Australia's Ashes hopes.
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