Bositive About Al-Bakistan

'Fasten your seatbelts and brace yourself as The Emperor of Hindu Hearts takes you on a journey of bositivity'


PHOTO: REUTERS

Dear Diary,

Just as our eastern neighbour had started basking in the reflected glory of a string of positive developments come marching in the party poopers.

Particularly vituperative is the flak its foremost filmmaker has been drawing for having the temerity to highlight a 'negative' aspect of the nation and win laurels for it. Ram Ram!

As a noted proponent of a school of thought committed to transforming Hindustan into another Al-Bakistan, it is incumbent on me to highlight all what “bositive” has been taking place across the frontier.

So, deviyyon and sajjonon, fasten your seatbelts and brace yourself as The Emperor of Hindu Hearts takes you on a journey of bositivity:

4. Bangladesh stun Pakistan to reach final ... 

Bangladesh does to Al-Bakistan on the cricket pitch what the Mukti Bahini did to “the world’s best military” in 1971.



3. 4th grader  impregnated by teacher in Larkana ... 

“This is not prevalent in our society. It is peculiar to the West,” no maulana opined ever.



2. Police rescue 9-year-old girl from wedding  ... 

Because incarcerating parents of child brides for one month and fining them $10 suffices.

1. Ahmadi man killed in broad daylight ... 

Commencing 2016 with a veritable stab. Because cultural violence is so passé. #RisingTolerance

Yours truly,

Bal.

The article is a work of satire and fiction. 

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