Why one should love arranged marriages

Love marriages are on a constant downward spiral while it is usually the opposite when it comes to arranged marriages.

Sidrah Moiz July 08, 2012
It is hard for every girl growing up in Pakistan to brave drawing-room meetings, aimed at deciding their fates for life. But one only finds the recipe for matrimonial bliss, after coming to terms with it.

Arranged marriages may seem awry to some, but you only realise when you have undergone or seen cases in which love marriages don’t quite prove to be the best way out.

Here are some of the reasons why I believe arranged marriages trump love marriages.

Statistics have proven that the probability of a love marriage failing is higher than an arranged marriage.

People who usually fall in love are bound to be blinded by passion that love ignites in you. On the contrary, arranged marriages are well-thought out, considered and then arranged.

Therefore, people who are in love usually end up putting their best self forward during the first few months, for the sake of maintaining the relationship.

On the contrary, in arranged marriages, people are usually transparent and keep it truthful because there’s no such fear of losing.

Given this fact, love marriages are on a constant downward spiral while it is usually the opposite when it comes to arranged marriages.

On the other hand, as the classic adage goes, parents want the best for their child; when it comes to choosing someone you want to spend your life with, you can actually give benefit of the doubt to your parents.

However, saying that either of the two remains successful would be unfair as marriage is a gamble and the outcome usually depends on how the couple perseveres.

Read more by Sidrah here or follow her on Twitter @seedwah 
WRITTEN BY:
Sidrah Moiz
The views expressed by the writer and the reader comments do not necassarily reflect the views and policies of the Express Tribune.

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COMMENTS (77)

Sarah | 7 years ago | Reply | Recommend @waqar: Now this is really sad.
Sarah | 7 years ago | Reply | Recommend "Statistics have proven that the probability of a love marriage failing is higher than an arranged marriage" This is the statement often misused by those advocating arranged marriages, I find this statistic very funny to be honest. See the thing is that the people involved in an arranged marriage don't get divorced for pretty much the same reason that they get married to one another in the first place and that usually is - pressure from society and family. Whether you like it or not divorce is still a taboo in societies where arranged marriages are most common e.g South Asian societies. Partners stick with each other because parents or uncles and aunties intervene and try to mediate when the going gets rough on the other hand if it were a western familial setup a marriage would only be the husband's and the wife's business and they would simply get a divorce if they wished to get one, without being accountable to amma, abba, dada, dadi and chacha, phuppi or the parosi for that matter. It would make a more interesting tribune article to go around and survey people who are involved in an arranged marriage and provide them guaranteed anonymity and ask them if they would get out of their marriage if they could, given that external pressures (society, parents, kids) are non-existent and the question simply put is; do you want a divorce yes or no? I can GUARANTEE the majority of Pakistanis will answer YES. We as Pakistanis are a sad bunch of people all stuck in our marriages questioning the what-ifs of life and wondering what we could have done differently.
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