10 things I hate about I hate lists

1.    The judgement implicit in the ‘H’ word. Then again, ‘10 traits that one could stereotype a certain genre of people as having’ isn’t as catchy.

2.    The wild generalisations: fat people snore, thin people whine about their weight, gamers have no friends.

3.    The undeniable truth that slaps you in the face when you realise that you do, as a smoker, incessantly fantasise about quitting one day.

4.    The number 10. Why not 8, or 15? Everything can’t tie up into a neat number ten.

5.   Oh, and by the way, making the same point twice in slightly different words is just cheating.

6.   The awful negativity of it all: aren’t there more than enough people complaining in the rest of the newspaper/magazine? Wouldn’t it be refreshing to read a ‘10 things I love about’ list?

7.   The feeble attempts at humour made through the use of wild stereotypes that can leave a bad taste in one’s mouth, akin to the lingering effect of a racist joke.

8.   The personal issues that appear to be vented in each of these lists.

9.   The comments, ranging from delighted to offended to hateful to mildly amused, many of which are five times as long and just as badly thought out as the list itself.

10.   The feeling at the end of the list that you’ve just wasted a few minutes of your life, and the subsequent realisation that, oh well, while you’re at it, might as well leave a pithy comment.

Published in The Express Tribune, January 2^nd, 2011.