Suicide should not be an option

In Pakistan, mental illness is not considered a serious medical condition and is often swept under the carpet

A few weeks ago, two teenagers, a young girl and a boy, committed suicide in a school in Karachi. Their deaths shocked all of us, but we should not have been so surprised. The rate of suicide among the Pakistani youth is steadily increasing and has become a point of major concern. And no matter who commits suicide, it is always extremely unfortunate.

Suicide doesn’t just affect the victim: it turns friends and family into victims as well. Losing a loved one to natural causes is traumatic enough, but to deal with the loss of someone to suicide is frightening on many levels. The people left behind are devastated and experience a range of emotions from grief to self-blame to guilt to disbelief. And to top it all off, they can’t often share their feelings with anyone because of the terrible stigma attached with suicide.

September 10 was recently observed as World Suicide Prevention Day. This year, I dedicated my morning show on that day to discussing the ways of preventing suicide. I learnt a lot from the experts who were on my show that day. I learnt that one million people commit suicide every year — in other words, every 40 seconds somebody commits suicide. And for every person who succeeds in killing themselves, 20 others try and fail. In fact, more people die from suicide every year than from all wars and terrorist acts combined.

In Pakistan, researchers estimate that about half of all suicide attempts arise from poverty, financial problems and so on. The other 50 per cent arise out of mental problems, depression and anxiety.

For me, what is frightening about that statistic is how Pakistanis react to mental illness. When someone is diagnosed with cancer, they undergo chemotherapy and radiation immediately. If somebody’s kidneys are failing, they will have no hesitation in getting dialysis. But when it comes to depression and mental illness, Pakistanis just want to brush the problem under the carpet. Depression or feelings of hopelessness are rarely considered to be a serious problem or illness, no matter how suicidal you may be feeling.

A month ago, I was talking to a senior artist about her daughter’s divorce from a violent and abusive man. The poor girl was back in her parent’s home but very reclusive. She was all but refusing to eat and had developed weird twitches. Given that the girl in question was obviously traumatised and depressed, I asked the mother if she had taken her daughter in for a check-up. Her response was that the doctors had said she is fine and had only prescribed sedatives. I asked if she had been to see a psychologist and the response I got was shocking. She very angrily exclaimed, “Meri beti pagal nahi hai!” (My daughter is not mad).” I was stunned.

This response, however, was not unusual. Even when I talked on my morning show about suicide and getting help, the response I got online was always very negative. By and large, my audience seemed to have zero sympathy for people suffering from depression and mental illness.

So, what do we do? Ignore such people? I don’t think that will work, because after a few failed attempts, they do eventually succeed in killing themselves. When the warning signs are there and people are crying for help through their actions and words, why don’t people respond?

There was a recent article in the New York Times about a marine battalion which had returned from Afghanistan in 2012 and since then had lost people to suicide at 14 times the normal rate for Americans. What was most scary was how the veterans described each successive suicide putting pressure on them, almost as if the mental illness was a virus jumping from person to person.

Mental illness is as real a problem as physical illness. A person who is depressed is as sick as someone who has cancer or diabetes. If someone you know needs help, then get them the right kind of help. Stuffing them with sedatives or trying to play the role of a therapist is not going to make things better; neither is ignoring the issue. The only thing which does help is getting informed and expert assistance.

In Canada, I remember there were helpline numbers for suicide hotlines plastered all over the subway and buses. I know that Pakistan has many problems which Canada does not, but that doesn’t mean we ignore the problems we do share. We have NGOs working on a number of issues — the elderly, children, abused women. Why not for people with mental issues? Perhaps, this is something that our society now needs to consider more seriously.

Published in The Express Tribune, September 28^th, 2015.

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