Navigating as a singlewoman

To avoid any travelling mishaps, follow these simple security tips and enjoy your experience

Travelling solo, especially as a woman in Pakistan, can be a nerve-wracking experience, presenting challenges uniquely related to your gender. The following guidelines are based on personal experiences and are here to help you make the most of your trip.

It’s okay to interact with men

You will make nothing out of your trip if you avoid interacting with men. Shopkeepers, passengers, waiters, drivers, there are men everywhere and you will need to talk to them.  At the same time, indiscriminate engagement with men is dangerous, no matter which part of the world you are in. Of course, there is a middle ground. Be attentive to vibes, body language and the kind of eye contact a man is making with you. Most women know exactly how much to trust a man based on non-verbal cues. If you run into an interesting male passenger during your travels, feel free to chat with him; if he is a local from the place you are visiting, ask questions. But, as common sense dictates, never tell him what your lodging arrangements are. If your ‘creep-alarm’ is okay with a casual conversation with this gentleman, exchanging phone numbers or email addresses is also completely fine. It takes five seconds to erase someone’s cyber presence from your life, anyway. 

Enjoy the experience on your own

Sometimes, an interaction goes beyond the boundaries you had mentally marked for yourself. For instance, the interesting gentleman from the airplane may try to stalk you around the airport after you land, insisting on giving you a ride or buying you food. If you are new to the city/town/village, remember, this is always a bad idea. If you’ve flown all the way there as a solo female tourist, the first glimpse of a new place is an experience you should fiercely guard as your own. No one should share it, especially not a random person you met on the plane. In any case, you’ll have to find your way through this place for the next few days/weeks/months/years. So why not start now? The quicker you learn how to use local transport options, the more self-sufficient you’ll be.

Don’t be afraid

If someone seems to be aggressively stalking you around the airport, become curt and don’t feel afraid to snub them very rudely. If this person does not back off, loudly ask them to leave — speak loud enough for people around you to hear. As long as you have a valid visa and passport, the airport is your safe haven and no one will harm you for telling another passenger off. At the most, you’ll get some hostile glances from people around you, who will judge you for ‘creating a scene’. You need to have a very thick skin. Remember, the heaviest kind of security — whatever the standards of ‘heavy security’ are in the country you have visited — will be found near immigration counters and baggage stations. Dart to these locations and talk to the staff when you face challenges in dealing with a stalker.

Dress smart

We wish this didn’t have to be said. But here, we’re trying to do whatever we can do to make sure your energies are spent in enjoying your journey, and not fighting raging battles with the men who ogle and harass you. Be clever, carry emergency jackets and scarves. Never ever forget extra sanitary pads.

Be careful about who you ask for directions

Whenever you can, go up to couples or families for help or suggestions. Shopkeepers, café owners and idle taxi drivers will also help you out.  Never stand conspicuously in a heavily-populated location, gazing at a tourist map. Sneak into a mall, a shop or a cafe if you need to look at it. Jot down notes and hit the streets again once you are fully prepared.

Be alert and attentive

A 100% coverage of potential dangers is hardly possible, especially on a sight-seeing vacation where you want to do quite a bit of idle roaming-around on your own. Hence, you need to keep a very open mind when booking your hostel or hotel room. Rooms in touristy districts will be expensive, but they will be safer. Moreover, you will save your budget on commuting because all or most of the tourist sites will be near to you. Check into the cheapest possible room, but try and make sure you are near some kind of tourist haven. This will also help you not stand out as a female who is on her own. When the going gets tough on the streets, pretend you are with some large group of tourists.

If you are situated in a place where there aren’t a lot of tourists, don’t worry and limit your interactions with the hostel/hotel staff and you’ll be fine. Avoid room service in such places whenever you can. Ask someone from home to get in touch with you in your hotel room through a directed call from the main lobby desk phone. Repeat this as many times as needed, preferably daily. Pretend to not be on a pleasure trip if you are on one. Carry your laptop and phone in the breakfast halls. Type feverishly or turn to your phone when you feel particularly jittery about someone around you. And while you are at it, don’t forget to enjoy your trip!

Travel Safe

Hunt down the location of your local consulate if you have just arrived at a foreign country. This is extremely important, regardless of whether you are a woman or not. Look up their website and save the phone numbers.

Published in The Express Tribune, Ms T, March 22^nd, 2015.