The Goat-Spy Letters — IV

Dajjal's Goat-Spy Jassasa studies the local symbolism and witnesses the coming of Yajuj-Majuj

Dispatch 4

Dateline: Pakistan

Howdy Master!

As ordered, I have now sent you dental floss, five pairs of woolen underwear and riding breeches by international courier. Regarding the black banner you asked me to procure — under which you wish to gather a congregation of your followers — I have bought the pole and a length of cloth, but it occurs to me that flying a plain black flag from a pole might lead to misinterpretations. For this reason, leaders throughout history showed a preference for textual or symbolic inscriptions on flags. My Master, the True False-Messiah, must have a powerful symbol for his. But what symbol?

Yesterday, in order to send you a report on indigenous symbols, I took my pair of binoculars and climbed onto the roof of our apartment building to study the local fashion in flags. A couple of flags flew in the vicinity.

On the Prime Minister's Perch flew the national flag. It depicted a crescent with its horns pointing right — a waning crescent, a moon in decline and decay. I adjusted the focus and looked farther up the road. Flying from the garrison city was the flag of the armed services. It also depicted a crescent but its horns pointed left — a waxing moon, in the pink of health and vigour.

Unable to reconcile the two contrary symbols in my mind, I climbed down and consulted the Dictionary of Local Symbolism. It is published by the consortium of the qutubs, and it is said that one is to consult it whenever one encounters any problem understanding national symbols. Well, Master, this book is as good as its reputation. Under the entry "CRESCENTS (Waning and Waxing)" it very succinctly explained what had seemed a paradox to my uneducated eye. I quote:

"And like the phases of the moon, the writ of the land shall rightfully and expeditiously pass and be made to pass from one hand to another — from the Party of the Waning Moon to the Party of the Waxing Moon; and back, if and when the calendar permits."

That cleared up my mind. Clearly, the symbols and fortunes of the two parties are grounded in a Natural law, and against the laws of Nature there is no appeal. Another reason why one must be cautious in choosing one's symbols. But this brings us back to the question: what symbol for Master's flag?

I would venture to suggest that Master should have for his flag the sign of the full moon. There would be some who would take offence at this symbolic mooning, but it would allow us an opportunity to educate them that the assembly of the left and the right parts of the Moon represents Master's ability to unify the two parties.

I shall leave Master with this thought and come to something of greater importance: upon Master's advent, he will be asked to perform a miracle. But no mere coin-behind-the-ear 'miracle' that Master often performed on the island to my endless astonishment. I have since learned how it's done, and wish to state for the record only that in a person of weaker faith than I, the discovery would have resulted in a complete loss of faith in Master.

I must also report a singular incident to which I was a witness. Two nights ago I was returning after posting my last dispatch to Master when I saw a horde of the Yajuj-Majuj (Gog and Magog) coming. Apparently they were accidentally released before their time when a secret underground nuclear test melted the brass ceiling which imprisoned them. I turned back and took the direction of the Press Club where they were headed. The news of their arrival had reached there, and I saw a select delegation of journalists come out and graze up all the grass and shrubbery in the vicinity. But the precaution was unnecessary. The Yajuj-Majuj are proscribed by heavenly decree from consuming anything until Doomsday. They only stare at the food and a terrible, hair-raising noise fills the air from the rumbling of their metallic bellies. For their sakes alone I wish the heavens would burst tomorrow.

Troubled,

Jassasa

Published in The Express Tribune, November 24^th, 2010.