You wake up in the morning, brush your teeth, get ready for work or get your kids ready for school, eat breakfast, start your day and basically follow the same routine day in and day out. Some days you pause in front of the mirror, when you actually have a second to spare in the day and look for the kid that seems buried deep inside you. You spot a wrinkle or a white hair and think, “Is this it? Is this really the only life I will live?”
We are all stuck in a rut, adults and children alike. Everything is scheduled. The idea for writing this was triggered off by a conversation with my friend who was complaining bitterly to me about how she is sick and tired of her life. Everything she did was according to a schedule. She wasn’t unhappy with the people in her life but with the sheer routine of things.
When I thought about my own life, I was disappointed to discover that even I was stuck in a similar situation. Wake up in the morning at 6am. Cuddle with my son for 15 minutes before heading off to work. After a full day of work, coming home to review Hamza’s homework and putting him to bed. Then finally, hanging out with my husband, usually to watch an episode of a series or a movie. Bedtime at 10pm. Yuck!
Why do we drive ourselves nuts and push ourselves beyond the limits of our patience and strength? Is it the desire to constantly achieve more? Or has everything and everyone become super competitive? Whatever has brought us to this point, the end result is that we have all become self-destructive in some way or form.
The school bags our children carry are so heavy that an adult can barely carry them. When I went to complain to my son’s school, they simply pointed they now make trolley bags as well, so he doesn’t have to carry all that weight. For God’s sake, it’s not the physical weight but the mental exhaustion that children experience that worries me. What happened to having a fun childhood and being carefree? Between school, tuition, structured sports and scheduled play times, our children now have no time to actually be kids.
Life is not meant to be just spent like a robot. It is supposed to be lived to the fullest, as if each day might be our last.
Given the weight of our routines, it is crucial to take time out to just relax and put up our feet. No matter how meticulously we plan out our future, things have a way of working out in their own way. I am not saying don’t try or don’t plan. I am just saying live a little. Take a break. Love yourself and others. It takes courage to opt for change. But without changes, life becomes stagnant. We don’t die. But we do lose that kid that lives inside all of us.
Published in The Express Tribune, May 12th, 2014.
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Dear Juggan, its hard to imagine you as someone stricken by the drudgeries of routine life. You look and sound so youthful and energetic on TV one cant believe you do all the other activities you talked about. Take pride in the fact that with even all that work you look as young and pretty as ever :)
Dear Madam
You are a wise person , I like your philosophically rich articles
Most countries of today's world are capitalistic form of economies
Where every human being is just a resource
And every body has a tough busy and hectic life
It is a never ending race
At least the developed countries have better infrastructure so time and energy of people is more productively used
Always fun reading you.....my suggestion is to do what YOU want to do and what you NEED to do........its your life and yours alone to live. When I started school, my bag made of canvass, contained a water bottle and a sandwich box. Later in senior classes no one carried a bag, that was YUK !, homework books were carried in our hands ( we also had desk lockers )........but then like everything things change and in most cases, not for the better.
Why ET, why must you do this to yourselves?
@Feroz: Thoughtful rejoinder to a thoughtful OpEd.
We have a choice to live life as we want to, most choices are a trade off where some benefits have to be sacrificed. Do you want to make yourself happy or is that happiness connected to those of your family and society ? Life can be boring or exciting depending on how we live it. Most women have to sublimate their own ambitions, goals and desires, once they marry. It need not be that way though.
Dear Juggun Sahiba, you say Bedtime at 10pm. ...followed by Yuck!... (???)... er... I respectfully suggest then that perhaps it may be a good idea to consult one of those... "therapists" ..?? (Hehehe... just kidding!) ... really really superb article! It is said that there are basically two (2) types of people in this world - those that are "living" and those that are "dying" (even though biologically/medically speaking they may be "alive" and "healthy", whatever that may mean!) -- earlier the former had mostly only children... now regretably (as you pointed out) even children are increasingly joining the "dying" category. Trolley (school) bags to "lighten the load" ?? LOL...grr8 one