Parenting Guide: Moms get back on track!

Learn how to balance work and family life.

Deciding to get back to work after giving birth to a baby is probably the toughest choice that any mother can make. While some can afford to quit their jobs and become stay-at-home moms, other women don’t have that luxury.

Whether a woman is career-oriented or experiencing financial stress, resuming work after a maternity leave can be overwhelming. Hence, it is imperative that a woman is fully recovered — both physically and emotionally, during her leave.

Back to work

While doctors have mixed opinions regarding the right time for a woman to leave her baby and resume work, the fact is that most companies offer only three months as maternity leave. However, since a large number of women are now in the workforce, the upside is that a large number of companies are now building in-house daycare centres in order to keep their employees happy.

“Ideally, a woman should get back to work after the baby is six months old,” says Dr Ayesha Jabeen of Medicell. “During that time the baby is being breastfed, trained and begins weaning.” She also feels that it is necessary for a mother and child to be with each other during the early formative months.

However, Dr Zaryab Setna of Lady Dufferin Hospital feels that the mother should go back whenever she feels comfortable to leave her baby with someone else. “After the first few months, it is important for the mother and the baby to have a routine,” says Dr Setna. “There is no scientific evidence that suggests any harm to the baby when a mother leaves her child to go back to work after three months.”



Keeping tabs

If your company doesn’t have its own daycare centre and you don’t have family members to babysit, chances are that you will have to leave your baby with a nanny. The worst thing that you end up doing during your work hours is to call home every hour to check up on your baby. This only results in animosity and frustration. While it’s good to make it clear that the caregiver should call you in emergency situations, it is also important to trust them with their job. For feedback, try to set up a time with the nanny to review the day’s events. Since her job is to take care of the baby, ask her to keep a count on the number of dirty diapers, feedings and naps. “Moms can check up on their babies during lunch breaks,” says Dr Setna. “There are lots of ways to keep in contact with the nanny and the baby even while a mother is at work.”

Smash your stress

After restarting your professional life, feelings of joy mixed with doubt and sadness can get jumbled up, resulting in separation anxiety. This happens when most mothers feel guilty for leaving their bundle of joy at home with a nanny. Consequently, some times work-related stress increases, lack of focus starts to hinder work and poor productivity becomes evident.

“I couldn’t concentrate on anything when I returned from my leave,” says Alizay Khan, a mother of two. “It took me a whole month to get back into routine. During that time, I  began to value my family more than ever before. The time I spent with my daughter recharged me and enabled me to do better in all areas of life. My family is my biggest strength.”

The best way to overcome anxiety is to be confident about your decision. While you may be worrying at work, the good news is that your baby has no idea about your separation blues. Give yourself time to adjust to your work routine and stabilise your inner-self. Remember, as long as your baby is in loving and responsible hands, he/she will be fine.

Connecting with your baby

It’s crucial that you leave your work worries in the office before you go home. Now that you are a full-time employee and a mother, you must realise that your baby craves your full attention when you get home. “A mother needs to spend quality time with her baby after work,” says Dr Jabeen.

Additionally, if your better-half lends you a helping hand, it makes things easier. Khan feels that she has managed her family and career well with the help of her husband. “I am very fortunate. My husband has always supported me in my professional life,” she says. “We work as a team to raise our children and nurture them.”

Published in The Express Tribune, Ms T, November 17^th, 2013.