The fact is that life is tough. You have to work hard in school to get good grades. Then you work like a dog to land a good job. Then you work hard to keep that job and move up the ladder of success. In the meantime, you find — or try to find — Mr or Miss Right, get married and then work hard every day to keep that marriage alive. But in the case of many people, their minds tend to resist their desire for success, even while they are simultaneously struggling to make life work.
I remember meeting a guy called Alex at a coffee shop called Balzacs in Toronto. Alex was a brooding, quiet person who would sit at the exact same table every single day and read book after book about acting and the various methods of acting.
Since I was both a struggling actor and a bit of a nosy parker, one day I went on over and asked him who his acting agent was. He replied he was his own agent. I asked which actors’ websites he was on and he said he didn’t believe in advertising himself on websites. Finally, I asked him about his recent work and he said nothing. He was waiting for his big break. I smiled and silently walked away.
It hit me then: he was waiting around for life to happen to him. He sat at the coffee shop every day, probably living off welfare or his family, but he wasn’t going out in the real world and making something of himself.
How many of us actually do this to ourselves? My guess is quite a few. You see, not only do we have a fear of failure but we also have a fear of success. Yup, you heard me: we fear success because we naturally hate change. And it is this fear of the unknown that is the undoing of many potentially successful people.
I agree that school might not be easy, your boss might be a horrible person and your mother-in-law, the spawn of Satan. But does that mean that you sit back and let life pass you by? The answer is, ‘no’.
When you become open to the idea that you are responsible for your life and that you have choices, you will find that you are no longer stuck just because life is tough
There is a famous (and famously rude) saying: “When shit hits the fan, some people run and some people stand.” Standing under a shower of shit may not seem like an appetising prospect, but the point behind the saying is simple. Everybody goes through tough times. What separates the winners from the losers is how they respond to adversity. Running away is always an option. But that is why we make such a big deal about people who have the grit to carry on. So, stop waiting for your big break to find you and stop moaning about all the bad things that have happened to you. Go out there and make your destiny!
Published in The Express Tribune, October 14th, 2013.
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Nice article Juggun, another John Maxwell in making :). BTW I love your assertion of coming out of victim mentality and changing the world around you by changing yourself. The key is to remain positive in face of adversity and stop being a whining kid all the time.
Very thoughtful, good suggestions, written wisely. The article has good substance to wonder upon. I like her writing style too. Lets Get Ahead and Look Forward.
the only good thing is the comment abt MILs
Nicely written article Juggun. One needs to open up more to the world around you plus push yourself to the limit each day to make things happen. We will all be dead one day, so remember that today is the first day of the rest of our Life.
Excellent take away from your article, Juggun. Each one of us is solely responsible for our success and failure. Sure at times the way the wheel of fortune turns can be cruel as many of us would have discovered but what I find is, the tougher has been your path and greater the obstacles conquered --- the more enduring will be the quality of success. It is failure that knocks us off our perch of arrogance and teaches us humility, harshly at times, so it does play a lead role in eventually putting us on the road to success. At times we understand that when faced with a fork in the road, we have traversed the wrong path, such is life. There is a normal human tendency to become bitter and cynical, but we must try and resist the impulse. Take Care, hope to see you in a James Bond movie soon.
those people who think they are successful in life think it is their responsibility to tell others how to spend their lives. did it ever occur to you that their might be people who live in the moment, don't want to plan too far ahead and are actually happy living like that.
Strong stuff and well written...........excellent advice, to an extent. A topic like this needs a physical platform and learned persons to debate it for its full impact.
I am sincerely concerned about the welfare of my fellow citizens should such pointless articles keep getting space on this site.
Good piece of advice!
Interesting subject. Prescribing happiness is fraught with difficulties, because what makes one person happy may make another unhappy. For a dictator, chaining his opponents make him very happy. My very good friends, the people, say that being dictated all the time do not make them feel very happy. Happiness for me is having good friends and a family that sticks together. Walking long hours in forest alone musing about thing I have and not worry about about what I don't. as the poet says: Happiness lies in good health Not in accumulation of wealth Happiness lies in caring for others Like dear friends and brothers Happiness lies in sharing Not is amassing Happiness is the state of mind