Adoption: Guardians, never parents

What is the status of adoption in the country, and should TV shows promote it?.

KARACHI:

Picture this: A grand TV show, possibly a Ramazan transmission, goes on air. The TV anchor is then seen holding a homeless infant – let’s say a girl.

He roams across the studio like a lion, chanting righteous slogans. Then, right in front of the cameras, he hands over the baby to a childless couple. They hug and kiss her, and are seen whisking her away.

A scene like this on live television would be hard to imagine anywhere in the world but, in Pakistan, it has happened more than once. Witnessing this warrants several questions: Are there background checks before a child is handed over? Is it all pre-decided? What, in general, are the laws of adoption in the country?

Behind the screens

“You’d be surprised if I told you there is no legal status of adoption in the country, right?” asks Sarim Burney, head of Sarim Burney Welfare Trust International, rhetorically. “And yet, this holds true for Pakistan. In the legal system, there is no such thing as ‘adoptive parents’ – only guardians.”

According to Burney, who deals extensively with matters of guardianship and human rights issues, the child-giving on TV is not like a raffle draw. Everything is pre-decided, and detailed investigation occurs beforehand.

Before the couple appears on screen, Burney has them sign an agreement in which the adoptive parents have to solemnly commit that they would adhere to the rule and regulations if they can take the infant. This agreement only takes a day to be made. The adoptive parents also sign a decree that entitles the young one to Rs1 million at the time of taking him/her as ward, which the young one can use upon turning 18.

“We check their financial status. Why should we give in to a poor man’s plea when he cannot even fend for himself? We also look into whether the child will be able to adjust. Sometimes, the child meets his/her adoptive parents before hand,” he explains. “However, later, the issue rests with the court, and the court has to issue a guardianship letter to the adoptive parents. This can take up to three months.”

Burney says that the court has never rejected such a plea, as it is made obvious that the people in whose care the child is being entrusted are well intentioned.

Saving lives or scarring minds?

Although Asma Mustafa Khan, host of the morning show Subh-e-Nau on PTV News, has not depicted live scenes of adoption on her show, she is not completely dismissive of the practice.

“I have not done this on my show, and have not been asked to,” she says. “And yet, we must acknowledge, there are two sides to each coin. Earlier, adoption was considered a taboo, but these shows have made it acceptable.”

Asma claims that by handing a child over, a life is being saved, one that would have ended up in the ‘garbage bin’.

Burney agrees with this sentiment.

“It is only through these TV shows that good and respected families come forward and make a request for guardianship and we do all that we can to support their cause,” he says.

However, Asma does have her reservations. If there is a time that she has to plan a show on such terms, she will give it serious thought, she says.

“The psychological scars on the young one’s brain need to be considered,” she states firmly. “Adoption must be made acceptable in our country, but not at the cost of scarring a child from such a young age.”

Her hesitation also stems from concern about the adoptive parents and their status.

Of dubious dealings

In Pakistan, nothing is easy or free from dodgy practices. This holds true for adoption, as well.

“There have been one or two cases in which mothers have come to me with the intention of selling their child, but I have completely shunned such proposals and told them I’d send them to jail,” he asserts.

In a different vein, Naz Shoeb, National Database and Registration Authority (Nadra) spokesperson and director of media and communications, explains how in spite of repeated advertisements in newspapers and written/verbal requests, most orphanages have not registered themselves with the authority.

The gift of a child        

Burney feels that organisations such as his are meant the shelter the helpless young ones, but letting them remain in the orphanages only reinforces social stigmas.

“If they remain, they face the ‘tum idaray kay ho’ (you come from an NGO) stigma, and that’s not something they want to live with,” he states.

This is why the organisation tries its best to allow rich families residing in the West – where adoption has a solid legal basis, and is not just guardianship – to  adopt these homeless children.

“We want them to grow up and have an identity of their own,” he says emphatically. “We want them to have peace of mind, and not be reminded of their past.”

Published in The Express Tribune, October 7^th, 2013.