Changing attitudes towards women

The least we can do is raise the next generation of men to respect women and accord them the same dignity.

Tazeen Javed December 31, 2012

The gang rape of a 23-year-old medical student in Delhi and her subsequent death is a horrific reminder of how women are treated in this part of the world. Though the appalling incident happened in India, it made all the women in Pakistan empathise with their sisters in the neighbouring country because it could very easily be one of them. Things are just as bad, if not worse, for the women in our society. The societies that perpetuate the archaic notions of misogyny and make excuses for such acts by pointing towards a woman’s mobility or clothing are responsible for it.

That rape incident did not happen in isolation. The crimes against women are on the rise, especially in our part of the world — be it rape, domestic violence, mental, physical or sexual abuse, threats of such abuse, coercion or arbitrary deprivation of liberty to move around, to choose a life partner or to seek education or health care. Women are generally viewed as secondary citizens, incapable of making decisions for themselves. Women who dare to exercise that right are judged and at times punished by society for doing so. A fundamental attitudinal change in the way women are viewed by society is required. They are not viewed as active, smart-thinking individuals but as vessels that carry future generations during the gestation period, objects of desire or derision and the carriers of honour of the male members of their families.

One thing that comes to the fore in the aftermath of the Delhi gang-rape case is the need to make ethics a part of school curricula everywhere and as part of a massive media campaign because we desperately need it. We teach useless skills in schools all over the world but what about the behavioural codes regarding women in public and private spaces? What constitutes acceptable behaviour and what is deemed inappropriate? Are they taught about the consequences of inappropriate behaviour or do they believe that they will be not be apprehended because society is permissive of their misdeeds and will let them go with the attitude that “boys will be boys?” Are they taught how to approach women, which should be a taught skill in societies as segregated as ours? Laws ensuring women’s rights and safety are necessary and should be strictly implemented but they can only work when society in general changes its attitude.

It is sickening to live in a world where a medical student is gang raped because she dared to step out in the evening and wanted to use public transport or a teenage girl, Malala Yousufzai, is shot in the head because she just wanted to go to school. They shouldn’t have to become either a victim or a hero; the Delhi girl should have remained a carefree medical student and Malala should have stayed the student whose biggest problem would have been acing her calculus exam. Instead, they have turned into symbols of courage and valour. Legislation needs to be amended to ensure the safety and participation of women in society. On personal level, the least we can do is raise the next generation of men to respect women and accord them the same dignity that they seek as human beings.

Published in The Express Tribune, January 1st, 2013.


sara | 11 years ago | Reply

I think half the problem can be solved if women are told to fight back and not stand harassment. Once my Aunty told me that she used public transport when she went to university. The men were extremely rude and tried to poke women all the time from inbetween the railing at partition. Most of the women used to get up and standd up in an already crowded bus and not sit at that place. But one day this girl got poked ant brought out a compass used to draw circle from her bag and stabbed it in however tried to touch her. And then they stopped poking.

Women should hit however pinches them or sings dirty songs at them especially if they are in a public setting. There is no honour or ghairat in enduring humiliation.

shahbaz nawaz | 11 years ago | Reply

verey nice

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