Sometime back, I conducted part of a gender sensitisation workshop, organised for government officials. I had the most diversified group because it had representation from all across Pakistan. We had people from big cities as well as smaller towns and villages such as Khushab, Noshki, Dadu, Dera Ismail Khan and Ghotki.
During a session on gender and leadership, I asked everyone to name a leader they liked and admired. It could have been a community leader, a politician or a sportsman. I also specified that the person had to be alive (otherwise, I knew, I would have gotten a lot of Allama Iqbals and Mohammad Ali Jinnahs as most admired leaders), someone who worked to bring change to his/her community, challenged the status quo and had managed to inspire at least one person. All 25 participants came up with a man’s name, including the usual suspects, such as Imran Khan and Shahbaz Sharif to some really off beat choices such as Mushahid Hussain Syed.
We discussed each and every name and why they admired them. People came up with some really odd reasons. One guy, who had worked with Mushahid Hussain Syed, liked him because of his superior English-language skills.
I asked the participants if they had any female leaders around them and the only leader they could think of was Speaker National Assembly Dr Fehmida Mirza. When I asked them why they thought she was a leader and what kind of changes had she brought, either in her community or workplace, they could not think of any reason other than stating her office and the fact that she is the first female speaker.
I then decided to throw in a couple of names, who I thought would generate debate about types of leadership roles. I suggested Bilquis Edhi, the woman, who started the first adoption service in Pakistan and gave home to thousands of unwanted babies. I then took the name of Mukhtaran Mai, a gang-rape victim, who challenged every patriarchal and misogynist person, the system and law of the land, opened up the first ever girls school in her village and has been battling the perpetrators of her crime for over a decade.
Participants grudgingly agreed that Bilquis Edhi is a leader but also mentioned that she could not have done it all had she not been married to the most dedicated and well-known social worker of the country. The reaction on Mukhtaran Mai was anything but civil. With the sole exception of two women, everyone said that she is not a leader despite evidence to the contrary. She was called everything from a gold-digger to a publicity whore to just plain old whore and a bad example for other women. When asked to give reasons for their repugnance, they failed to come up with a solid reason other than her bringing shame to Pakistan in the international community.
The reaction of the participants was reflective of the society we live in. People, who are threatened by a woman, who is not a direct threat to them and is only challenging misogynist laws and the system by asking for a fair trial, stand no hope of living in a more gender-friendly society, which will remain a distant dream for such people. All gender sensitisation workshops will fail if we do not make an effort to radically alter the stereotype images of women and girls in our textbooks, popular media and homes. Presenting an alternative, more gender-neutral environment is our only hope of providing a safer society to our daughters.
Published in The Express Tribune, August 8th, 2012.
COMMENTS (25)
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@Z.Khan: I see woman all over the media - anchor ladies, actresses, singers etc. So, what's the issue here?
@Mirza:
"Before the next elections the coalition govt should introduce a law which guaranties women’s presence in all high courts and SC. In addition there should be more seats for women in legislature. This bill would also prove to the women and poor masses who is keeping them behind and powerless?"
This is an open arena. I'm highly against any type of quota for anybody. If one can't compete, stay at home. Survival of the fittest!
@Mirza: I don't agree with you. Five fingers are not equal. And remind you that sexual assault rate in western countries (especially the US) is no less than under-developed/developing countries. Yes, it's the foreign media indeed who covers negative news and intentionally ignores the positives!
What is needed is modern education, not any more madarasa education. Students must be given the freedom to think and analyse everything, instead of stereotyped views imposed on them.
Ms Tazeen Javed. To an extent print and electronic media aught to be blamed. Rarely one hears or watches about outstanding women while society posses a lot. Only worskshops will not help that much. Good work done by ladies deserves much more coverage to improve the situation.
What you are trying to produce is not "gender neutrality" but "emphasis on women". You ask a strange question about "leader". One tends to think about "leaders" as those holding formal positions. So, Edhi who leads an organization is viewed as a leader while Bilquis is not. But if you asked the same question while allowing individuals like Benazir to appear, then Pakistanis would be capable to name a woman as a leader. If you also Pakistanis whether Zardari is a leader, most would react with disgust.
If you also ask Pakistanis whether they think their mothers or fathers sacrifice the most for their families, most would say their mothers. So, your obsession to create a gender neutral Pakistan started with prejudice toward your own people. Pakistanis are much more complex than how you have been viewing them.
I am amazed and happy and pleasantly surprised that someone like Tazeen has managed to survive in Pakistan for so long.
Bless us ! may there be beauty and happiness and joy and freedom in pakistan
I hope in gender neutral Pakistan,along with other good things,there will be no special counters for women at banks/govt offices etc and they will not break lines and go ahead of men just because they are women!
It is going to take a few decades for women to be empowered in this country. Needless to say, the next government (and hopefully, it won't be this coterie of bandits) must make relevant reforms - following the example of Turkey, Malaysia and other 'progressive' Muslim countries. Pakistan is truly, a hard country.
@Mirza: I wish there more people like you in Pakistan, Mirza
Before the next elections the coalition govt should introduce a law which guaranties women's presence in all high courts and SC. In addition there should be more seats for women in legislature. This bill would also prove to the women and poor masses who is keeping them behind and powerless?
Gender-neutrality is an ideal that no nation has achieved but some nations are further along than others. And the data shows that Pakistan is in the midst of a silent revolution for women right now.
About 22 percent of Pakistani females over the age of 10 now work, up from 14 percent a decade ago, government statistics show. Women now make up 4.6% of board members of Pakistani companies, a tad lower than the 4.7% average in emerging Asia, but higher than 1% in South Korea, 4.1% in India and Indonesia, and 4.2% in Malaysia, according to a February 2011 report on women in the boardrooms.
http://www.riazhaq.com/2011/09/working-women-seeding-silent-social.html
The male dominance has been a universal phenomena in the human society unlike the animal kingdom where the male enjoys a secondary role to the female. Especially those animals that are used to living in herds or pride one does find the dominance of the female. Among lions the Lion enjoys a simply titular role of the male parent in the pride and is the first to share the prey hunted by the lioness. In case of elephants the herd is led by the cow elephant. In the human society women have unfortunately been treated as second to men infact in certain families they have been simply enjoyed a status of a doormat. Although tragic, but facts remain facts. Pakistan or for that matter India, Bangladesh or any other nation within South Asia women have so far no acheived the status in society that is at par with men. Concepts and conventions that have been patriarchal across the globe with a few exceptions have made women to play the second fiddle to a man. In South Asia that does include Pakistan as well as India many women themselves despite education and being professionals prefer to continue with this practice of support the patriarchal concept of society. Infact a woman if allowed to head a family is looked upon with a raised eyebrow moreover if the woman is married then the husband is considered to be a weak so called henpecked husband. Those who tend to disagree with the view can state that there have been Prime Ministers and Presidents who have been women within Pakistan as well as India or for that matterr many other nations of the world. In addition today women are holding senior positions in many reputed organisations. This no doubt has been the change from the past however society is still to break out of the basic paradigm of the fact that man alone can rule and man alone can head a family; the smallest unit of society. At the grass root level one still shall find women playing simply the role of a doormat I would not call them a housewife or homemaker as they do not enjoy even the basic rights in many a families. Gender-neutral Pakistan is no doubt still a distant dream and the other nations of South Asia too have a long way to go in this regard. Change is required, but the initiative must come from women as a whole then alone can a nation turn gender-neutral.
Everything you have said about gender equality might be true but you have to really kow that the names you suggested were alsodivisive. Not sure if reaction would have been different if you had suggested names such as Asma Jahangir , Sherry Rehman or even Tahira Abdullah.
Distant. Keep dreaming. In the meantime do something about the Religosity that makes life miserable for women and other minorities.
Gender-neutral is an ideal that no nation has achieved but some nations are further along than others. And the data shows that Pakistan is in the midst of a silent revolution for women right now.
About 22 percent of Pakistani females over the age of 10 now work, up from 14 percent a decade ago, government statistics show. Women now make up 4.6% of board members of Pakistani companies, a tad lower than the 4.7% average in emerging Asia, but higher than 1% in South Korea, 4.1% in India and Indonesia, and 4.2% in Malaysia, according to a February 2011 report on women in the boardrooms.
http://www.riazhaq.com/2011/09/working-women-seeding-silent-social.html
Thank you for writing such a brilliant piece.
Ms Javed: Dont get dishearted. Despite the onslaught of extremists in Pakistan, at least you conducted a workshop and a number of men attended. About 15 years ago, I suggested the possibility of a gender sensitization workshop, and was practically physically assaulted by my male colleages, all doctors. They could not imagine they needed 'gender sensitization' workshops.
Why not suggest Asma jahangir, as role model?
It is heart breaking to read such Op Ed. Some rightwing extremists call me an Indian or non-Muslim but this is the time I feel ashamed to be a Pakistani man. I am sorry that I cannot do much for the uplift of women in society. My grandmother used to say about her daughters in law, that woman is like a slipper you wear one and then throw it away when you want! Not much has changes since then. The problem is what you said "they failed to come up with a solid reason other than her bringing shame to Pakistan in the international community." I am an enemy of Pakistan because I tell the truth. When M. Mai visited here she had a big gathering to see and listen to her. I was dying to tell her and I did "you are as pure as my late mother or my sisters I am ashamed of being a Pakistani male and please forgive me for what happened with you". I wish there were an easy remedy. Talking about equality, women are not even allowed to live in peace and dignity.
Yeah I am also missing Female Mobile Snatchers and Female Bhatta Khors. The Feminists should join hands for this Initiative as well.
@Toticalling: "The second marriage should also be banned."
I recall a resolution tabled in the Assembly or Parliament by Dr. Firdous Ashiq Awan supporting polygamy. She said it is better for the family and woman.
The article was so Precise. I liked reading this article.
It will help if women are employed in all spheres of life. Working and earning their money will increase their status. The second marriage should also be banned