Salmaan Taseer on Twitter: Razor sharp wit, funny quips

The best thing about Salmaan Taseer's tweets was that they were uncensored and relentless.

Whether it was celebrity gossip or a tweet ridiculing the Sharif brothers, Twitter could always rely on former Punjab Governor Salmaan Taseer for funny quips.

Taseer’s humorous tweets professing self-adulation, and especially those directed towards his daughter Sara Taseer were certainly amongst his finest.

The best thing about these Tweets is that they were uncensored and relentless – he was not afraid to laugh at himself or anyone else and did it with a great sense of wit.

The following list of select Twitter updates from the late governor’s profile encompass his lighter side.

(Tweets have been proofread for readability)

 

THE LIGHTER SIDE OF TASEER

 

• Sania Mirza and Shoaib Malik have knocked off the electricity crisis... Thank God!


• Doctors have become an endangered species... I am going to recommend a wildlife fund to take out the panda and put in the Pakistani doctor.


• I suggest calling ALL party heads and not just Nawaz Sharif, who will look like he's swallowed a frog.


• For the last 48 hours I've been trying to sell Pakistan to US investors in the background of Kasab - now Faisal Shehzad !Chalo himat na haro


• My wit is not appreciated by all. Someone agitated 'no governor in the universe Twitters like you’. I took it as a compliment.


• Twitter is off my BB so I'm using my iPad, I assume my silence must have been devastating.


• After my interview on Dunya TV tonight I will consider opening an exclusive ST fan club. Minimum requirement under 80 with a heartbeat!


• Burdens of state must have damaged my brain pattern.


• Most politicians I have followed on twitter give dull dreary motivational messages with no attempt at wit or originality. Why?


• I'm surprised to see Nawaz Sharif complaint at Babar Awan using private planes as he and Sharif family use Governor Punjab plane like a rickshaw.


• My daughter Sara is going to Spain to watch the football final! Somebody forgot to tell her it is in South Africa!


• Sharifs are transporting Paul the Octopus to Raiwind to predict their future! I’m afraid he may end up in their Paya if he tells the truth.


• Initially I was targeted by PMLN, Islamic fundo hate groups etc. Now its Hindu lunatics RSS and Pak haters. I must b doing something right!


• PM spoke for 3 minutes to give General Kiyani 3 year extension… Suppose he had spoken for 10 mins?!


• Tried for Angelina Jolie to accompany me to Muz'grh but got Farzana Raja. Sare khawashat pure Nahin hote.


• I’ll send Sheikh Rashid RT @smitaprakash: So Jolie went to Pakistan, can we have Brad Pitt here. I mean we got floods too, you know.


• Thank God I left today RT @marvi_memon: I hav entered seraiki speakin territory Sep 9


• I'm amazed that the simplistic pathetic remarks to my JOKE that Sarah Palin can't tell difference between a KOREAN and QORAN! Humor?


• I think Angelina Jolie who donated $100,000 for Flood victims is the real "daughter of Pakistan".


• Watching horror movie on HBO or Rana Sanaullah Ijaz Haq Ikram Sehgal on talk shows? Chose HBO its less scary.


• Just don’t push me over the LOC! RT @marvi_memon: @SalmaanTaseer U r cordially invited. U must make a dhoohandaar speech. My only demand.


• Perhaps the best thing Nawaz Sharif ever did was declare Sunday the national holiday.


• Sorry I discuss people RT @husainhaqqani Great minds discuss ideas average minds discuss events small minds discuss people Eleanor Roosevelt.


• Abdul Razzaq is the Asma Jehangir of one day cricket.


• A thief stole my credit card a week ago but I didn't report it because I saw he was spending less money than my wife. True!


• I've decided to sacrifice something dear to me for Eid. Where are you Sara?


• Its 6 am child reciting naat on Masjid loudspeaker to tune of "Muni badnam ho gaye darling tere leye" when does this madness stop?