A bleak political horizon

In spite of Mr Gilani, Mr Zardari & some vacuous aristocrats under their wing, the PPP will be hard to dislodge.

It was New Year’s Eve at a friend’s place. We were not roasting chestnuts, but enjoying the juice of the serine grape from the vineyards of Bordeaux. I raised a toast to the usual chaps I pay tribute to every New Year’s Eve — Richard Strauss, Pablo Neruda and Fidel Castro. Two are deceased; the third is hoping to outlast the seventh US president. None of the other guests acquiesced. They had their own favourites. After the usual risqué stories about the bearded, turbaned warriors of the land of the five rivers, the conversation drifted to our own neck of the woods. The tone had now been set for the favourite sport of the Pakistani critics — rubbishing the politicians. So after a little perky topping and tailing and a bit of an updated voice-over, all the political yahoos were lined up for inspection.

We started with the saintly patrician do-gooder who currently occupies the post of prime minister, who always comes across as a man in a desperate hurry. Some of his bluster and bristle have been rinsed off him after the arrival of the new phenomenon on the political horizon whose popularity is being registered on the Richter scale. The consensus was that after the prime minister had established some sort of a record for indecisiveness, vacillation and dithering, he was beyond redemption. Next in line was the industrial lion of the Punjab foundries, who continues to play his role with a marvellous conviction that captures the tone of his contrary life perfectly. While he is still smarting after his mane was recently trimmed by the Niazi clippers, the resident cynic felt he will still hang on to most of his seats. And then came the icing on the cake, Rossini’s Barber of Seville himself, the man the country desperately needs, who is, after all, incorruptible and scrupulously honest.

Now, what we couldn’t understand is why, after all that verbose nonsense about doing something for the women of this country, did he have to accept a person who deliberately sabotaged the second reading of Donya Aziz’s bill on the rights of women? Not only that, he’s also opened the door to the turncoats who are queuing up for admission. And how in Hades is he going to introduce an Islamic welfare state when he is certainly not going to slash the military budget? Even the Wizard of Id would be speechless on this one. The trick, dear Horatio, is not to make too many promises or open too many fronts. First of all, he should kick out the spongers, take in professional people with unblemished records and then say, in all sincerity, that he will do his best for the country. Hallelujah! But he must shed himself of the innuendos about alleged links with banned terrorist groups.

However, the real issue is not which party will ensure that the dollar doesn’t hit Rs100 by 2014, but who stands for progress and who for obscurantism. Like it or not, in spite of the corruption, ineptitude and track record, the PPP is still a secular party, along with the ANP and the MQM. And in spite of Mr Gilani and Mr Zardari and some of the vacuous aristocrats that they have under their wing, the PPP will be jolly hard to completely dislodge. One can only hope that in the next election people vote according to their conscience and beliefs and the urban elite don’t boycott the polls. If nothing else, Imran Khan made them think.

Published in The Express Tribune, January 3^rd, 2012.