Living for the limelight—not!

Shyness is not a problem unless you make it one.


Mahnoor Tahir November 02, 2011



It was the first day of my internship. I walked into a room full of strangers and felt all eyes on me. The news room, as they called it, was huge and the walk to my desk right on the other end seemed endless. I felt out of place, unfit even, to be surrounded by complete strangers. When asked about the ideas I had, I felt blank, like an actor on stage who had forgotten his lines.


Just in case you’re wondering, I knew what to say but I just couldn’t say it. The problem? I was shy.

Shyness. While the word might sound alien to some, there are many out there who know just what I’m talking about.

Can you remember the last time you stepped into a room full of strangers and felt that self-conscious and awkward feeling rush over you? Or that heart thumping moment when you wanted to ask someone on a date but were too shy to do so? Or an occasion where you wanted to approach someone for information but were too hesitant to do it? Do you get that feeling of anxiety in the pit of your stomach in such situations? Does it always feel like that something is holding you back? This is the feeling of nervousness that some of us experience when we’re surrounded by strangers. Shyness can mean feeling uncomfortable, self-conscious, nervous or timid. People who feel shy sometimes experience physical sensations like blushing, feeling speechless, shaky or breathless.

Many individuals are more likely to feel shy when they are not sure how to act, or are uncertain about what will happen when they’re in the limelight or how other people will react. But being shy isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It’s okay if it takes you a while to feel comfortable with new people and new situations. After all, everyone needs some time to adjust. And more often than not, even if you’re shy around some people, you will eventually come out of your shell if you spend enough time with them.

However, it is important to ensure that your shy nature doesn’t hinder your academic progress in any way.

If it keeps you away from what you want to do, you should talk to someone about it such as your parents, teachers, counsellors or doctors. Talking about it might help you get over it. If you know someone who’s shy, try to help that person feel less nervous. The more time you spend with the person, the less shy he or she will feel around you. You could even tell him or her about a time when you felt nervous and that will definitely help the person understand that everyone feels shy sometimes and that it’s okay.

Some kids are just naturally shy and there is nothing wrong with that unless this hampers them from making friends in school or participating in classroom discussions.

I think teens should try to discuss their shyness issues with their friends because maybe they can offer some advice and this could help them share their concerns with others instead of keeping them bottled up.

Remember, you get to live only once so don’t let your lack of confidence stop you from doing what you want.


Tips to overcome shyness.

Here are some tips you can use to get out of that shell!

1. Recognizing and accepting that you are shy is the first step to learning how to stop being shy.

2. A simple tip for shy people is to come up with different topics of conversation that can be used in social situations.

3. If you feel shy about meeting new people, ask your family or your friends to introduce you, and ask them to stay with you while you talk to the new person. Having other people around to join in the conversation makes it easier to feel comfortable about talking.

4. Another tip on learning how to stop being shy involves not trying to hide your shyness problem. Let other people know that you’re shy — you’ll be amazed at how understanding people can be.


Published in The Express Tribune, October 22nd, 2011.

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